I know that everybody has their own goals and aspirations when it comes to love. I won't judge anyone who thinks that marriage isn't worth it or who doesn't question the concept of marriage enough, but for me, I still believe that it could be worth it. I've been single for only a couple months now. Being friends with my ex seems to be working, but it's still a process to fully come back to myself.
It's not worth it to be with someone who can't see why you value certain things that simply don't matter to them. It's also not worth it to stick around and try to convince or impose your own values onto them. I say this, but I am grateful for the experience and for the memories of my previous relationship, and it never hurts to say this if you're still in contact with the person you once loved. I've come to recognize that breaking up for good or giving ultimatums is a habit that doesn't really promote growth or positive change within your relationships (this also includes ones with family and friends). Of course, I do recognize that every situation and relationship is different and that any toxic or unhealthy dynamics may require a different solution. Nonetheless, another habit that doesn't really help in certain situations is having poor listening skills or being unwilling to learn new things. No human is perfect; I know this and understand that communication can still break down sometimes, but it's common sense to understand and recognize that how we handle tough times is what matters most.
Trust in marriage is maintained when both individuals understand that the other person can't fulfill every single need that they each have. Trust, in my experiences at least, gets easily abused when you look to excuse it by saying certain phrases too much, or by repeating certain actions without taking the time to understand how these behaviors affect the people around you. You don't always have to make your love known by simply stating it. Love can exist in the form of small gestures, gentle reminders, physical touch or acts of service. Love also doesn't have to rely solely on monetary value. Love can be expressed in a multitude of ways, and while I recognize my own default habits of how I choose to give my love, it never hurts to expand the way you express this to others.
With the way society views love today, I honestly feel like it would be an oversimplification to say that most humans don't care enough or just don't understand. Of course, a lot of people in this world are entitled to say that they truly don't know what love feels like because of how they were raised growing up. We need to stop expecting people to love each other perfectly or make people feel bad simply because they carry flaws. If there's one thing I'm starting to understand better and practice with more consistency, it's grace and forgiveness for even the worst of mistakes. People can believe in whatever they want, but in knowing my own upbringing, values and beliefs because of my parents passing down what they've been taught about God and Jesus, I do believe that God can heal more wounds than anything else on earth can.
To wrap up this post, if there's anything I've learned about myself in the experiences I've had, it's that love can either be easy or difficult depending on the choices we make with the other person in mind. Sacrifice doesn't have to be seen as a bad thing depending on what you believe is most important in life; it takes a lot of inner work or prayer to recognize that delicate balance of valuing yourself and God while also maintaining healthy relationships. It's important to choose someone who has similar values as your own. It's also important to choose someone who can enhance your better qualities and lift you up when you're at your worst, and while being able to share your vulnerabilities with your partner can allow your bond to grow more, you can't rush the process. The most worthwhile things in life take time to grow, heal and evolve.