Body Positivity: Why Is it Important?

Everyone’s body shape is different, and that’s okay. Everyone’s height and/or weight is different, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is shaming or excluding others just because they’re different in some way. 

Now I don’t consider myself to be a model, but in truth, I believe that every woman’s body is model-worthy. I also still believe that it's better to find balance within your health habits. Doing too much or not enough of something can lead to worrying consequences later down the line, and I'm speaking from experience on that. Of course, I realize that everybody's health journey is different, but that's besides the point.

If you look at yourself in a mirror, wearing nothing but your undergarments, what would be the first thing you see? What would be the first thing you feel? Are those thoughts, feelings and observations negative or positive? Now I’m not going to pretend like I understand as everyone’s circumstances are different, but what I will say is that it’s okay to feel insecure. It’s okay to feel down, and if you’re being hard on yourself, then that’s normal. Learn to accept those emotions without identifying with them. I realize that this isn’t easy to do, but doing this will be a good first step into feeling more positive about yourself. Self-love doesn’t require anything fancy or elaborate when you’re first getting started as long as you first acknowledge those negative thoughts and feelings. 

With everything my body has been through since middle school, I find it more important than ever to give yourself grace and not worry so much about the numbers. We're only given one body, so we might as well make the most of it while also trying to reach whatever goals you may have. I remember being told to eat more because of me being skinny throughout my earlier years in grade 5 and 6, and while this was because of an issue related to my thyroid, I feel like this one mistake has taught me what it means to live a balanced lifestyle. It still wasn't easy for me to curb my eating habits; I gained quite a bit of weight and struggled to slim down throughout my teen years.

So even though I value sustainability the most when it comes to fashion, I also value transparency, comfort and quality. I’ve been following Aerie since high school, and I’ve found that the quality of their undergarments continues to improve since the start of my body positivity journey. I also love how the brand really seems to understand my body type as I can easily find things in my size since I’m a little big in my hips. So other than my love for Aerie’s undergarments, I also really love their leggings! I currently have 3 pairs of their leggings in black, navy blue and brown and they’re just so comfortable for everyday lounge wear. If I wanted to, I would own their leggings in all the colors, but I prefer more neutral or classic color tones anyways.

To wrap this up, I'd say that this topic is important for all women, young or old alike. And while I'm not saying this to be judgmental, I do believe that one's style can't be defined until they learn to accept the body they're in. Our weight will change, and as we grow older, our bodies will change along with that. It's okay if you don't look like the typical, size zero model, because what matters most is how you feel about yourself.

What it Means to Know Your Style

This is a subject that I feel like needs more attention these days, especially with the way most clothing stores are and how they don’t keep their clothing in stock for more than two weeks. There will always be new trends and new styles that are coming out, but I personally find it’s better and more sustainable to find your own unique style first. 

Uniqueness is a quality that draws in a lot of attention. Take Lady Gaga for example when she first started out. Her costumes always made a statement, whether people liked them or not. I can remember when she was wearing big hats or dressing in black in white from head to toe. Fashion at its core is about creativity and expressing yourself to the world with what you wear, but to know your style is about using that creative process in a way that’s more mindful/intentional with a touch of you. With that being said, I’ll be sharing a few tips on having a good sense of personal style. 

Going back to basics is one option you could take if you want a wardrobe that’s versatile, simple and effortless. One thing I love about the capsule wardrobe system is that you’re basically starting out with what you already have, and then adding some great quality neutrals into the mix (think beige, brown, black, white and/or grey). Going with a base like this makes for an endless amount of outfits that you can style up or down, and you can make that unique statement with different accessories, makeup or finding some kind of accent color. For example, if most of your wardrobe consists of different grey tones and black, an easy accent color you could throw into the mix is red, blue, green or yellow.

I feel like since downsizing and restructuring my wardrobe, I don’t play with trends as much as I used to. If you still enjoy trendy pieces however, then by all means, go for it. Trends can definitely give your closet a sense of uniqueness if you pick out the right ones. Usually when new trends first come out onto the runway, there’s a 50/50 chance that a certain trend may or may not be chosen to end up in different retail stores, and the most outlandish ones are only made for the designers to get opinions/critiques. I personally believe it’s best to find trends that will never go out of fashion and/or remain timeless, like a big straw bag, a fedora, wide leg pants or a pair of espadrilles. It’s funny how trends work because sometimes, ones that were cool in previous years always have a chance of coming back. 

With second hand/vintage shopping becoming a new norm of sorts, it’s more easy than ever to find little hidden gems or treasures that are one-of-a-kind or unique in style. Shopping for clothes second hand has a lot of benefits, and when it comes to putting a unique stamp on your style, you can find a plethora of options. One thing that I’d recommend with shopping vintage or secondhand is to not rush through the process as you’ll never know what you might find. 

I hope these tips are helpful to you, and if nothing else works, you can always opt for finding a uniform that's good for every day. This can mean wearing the same shirt and pants every day, or having multiples of the same white shirt or another type of blouse. Do whatever works you, and have fun with it!

How I Declutter My Closet

While I realize that decluttering can be a time-consuming process for some (especially if you’re first starting out), it really does become easier with time the more you do it. It’s just like riding a bike or committing to get more reading done; if you flex that decision-making muscle more often, it’ll eventually become second nature to you. When applying this one habit to your closet however, the method can differ from person to person. Some swear by using Marie Kondo’s approach, while others may want to declutter their clothes seasonally, or once every two or three months. I personally am in the latter for the most part. 

As the seasons change, it’s natural to want to go through your clothes and see what doesn’t fit or what doesn’t spark joy. This is probably the most common approach since before minimalism became mainstream. It’s simple and effective, and while I have tried using this approach, I’ve found that because I like to keep most of my clothes hanging (obvious exceptions are bulky sweaters, lounge wear, sleepwear, undergarments and my pants), I may come across a top that I’m not too sure about that’s out of season, and I don’t like to look at mismatched hangers or store it someplace else where I can’t see it. In this case, I’ll just keep the clothes I don’t want in my closet as is and come back to it in another week or two. 

If I see something in my wardrobe that I know I don’t like, or if it doesn’t fit me right, I’ll go ahead and declutter it. One thing I like to do sometimes is this exercise of finding the root reason why I bought something, and asking myself these questions: 

Does this still suit my personal style? 

Does it still spark joy?

Do I like how it fits on me?  

How does this piece make me feel?

Impulse purchases happen, and if the reason why I bought something is because of that sudden impulse when I found it at the time, then I’ll use that to help better my spending habits in the future. This can also be said for expensive clothing items, and while I can somewhat understand the hesitation of giving it away, I’d advise you to think about it from a different perspective. The money’s already been spent, and the action can’t be undone. What can I learn from this going forward, and how does this reflect the choice I made when the item was first purchased? Would I buy this again if I were to see this on the sales rack like I did the first time? 

So while I don’t like to obsess over my clothes looking perfect or constantly curate my wardrobe, I do like to make periodic checks in between the different seasons, and once a certain season is over, I’ll evaluate all of what I have and make sure that I’m getting good wear out of what I have. With my love for fashion in general, it can be fun to style up certain pieces I haven’t worn in a while, and once I’ve found enough outfit combinations, I’ll try using my own pictures for inspiration if I get bored or feel stuck on what to wear.

I’d say my biggest tip for closet decluttering is knowing what your style is. I’ll be covering this in more detail in a another post later on, but to put this simply, once you’ve weeded out what you don’t love or what doesn’t make you feel good, you’ll begin to see which clothing items spark the most joy or what you do wear the most, and you can build upon that. I hope that these tips are helpful to you, and if you have any further questions, just leave a comment down below as I'd love to help.  

Ethical Fashion Review: Divinius (White T-shirt)

So before I bought this t-shirt, I had a similar one that I bought secondhand. I got a lot of wear out of it, but because the shirt was originally from a Target brand, I knew it wouldn’t last forever. Searching through ethical brands isn’t something I do regularly, but I knew that for something this basic, I wanted it to be of better quality and soft on my skin.

I heard about Divinius through a YouTuber named Sarah Therese earlier in the year, plus I remember Ashlynne Eaton doing a sponsored video with Divinius quite some time ago. I personally think that ethical fashion only works if you save up your money and choose wisely, or if your job allows you to have these items gifted or sent to you for free (which is the case for most online creators). With that being said, I think seeing Ashlynne and Sarah’s reviews were helpful before I purchased this t-shirt along with doing research of their store.

The goal that Divinius has is to be transparent in their sustainability practices, only using materials that they’ve sourced themselves. They also believe in helping women and girls around the world to have a better life while practicing social justice, health, education and careers (source: https://divinius.com/pages/our-mission). I personally think it’s great that we’re seeing more brands and companies leaving this kind of impact on humanity, and if you want to know more about their mission, then you can check out their website as linked in this paragraph.

The t-shirt I bought is probably the lightest I’ve ever worn as the material is not too thick. Of course, a simple white tee is a staple in every woman’s wardrobe as it can be dressed up or down in a number of ways. The one I bought was around $40, and I love how it makes me feel every time I wear it.

Now don’t get me wrong here; I still believe that shopping for high quality clothing doesn’t have to be expensive, but if you can afford it and want to support a good cause, go for it. If not, then you can always check out your local thrift stores or vintage shops. This t-shirt just happened to be something I needed, and I’m very happy with my purchase. I hope that seeing my review will be helpful to you if you’ve been on the fence for a while, or if you’re struggling to find great quality basics for your wardrobe.

Systemic Racism & Actions Over Words

I traveled from China to the United States when I was 9 months old, and yet, I grew up around white privilege. I'll admit that once I entered my late teens/early 20's, a lot of my beliefs of the world were misguided and naive. This world we live in is so diverse, and yet, racism continues to show its ugly face no matter how far we progress as society. Learning to unlearn is what needs to happen now, because for several years, the black community has tried to fight and protest for their right to be heard and treated equally.

Systemic racism takes on many forms. It can exist in the economy, schools, religious organizations, the work place and even just on the streets. It occurs without the majority of us realizing it on a subconscious level. We select our own friends at an early age based on looks, status or attitudes. We choose which tribe to follow based on our beliefs or other similarities, and the way we act is influenced by the actions of others. And believe it or not, how we treat other human beings is based on how other people have treated us.

Ending systemic racism starts with acknowledging your own background and surroundings. What kind of environment did you grow up in? How were you treated by your own family or peers? What kinds of behaviors did you pick up because of the circumstances you've faced? Sometimes even those with the kindest or seemingly harmless intentions can pick up unintentional behaviors that can be perceived as racist.

This issue of racial inequality is no longer about the white majority's voices and what we care about. George Floyd's death was the last straw, and since then, I've come to realize that I can do so much more to help the black community. Donate any time or money if you can. Attend any rallies or protests within your area. Educate yourself, and work towards unlearning any toxic, racist behaviors you may have. My social media feeds have been blowing up with all sorts of hashtags and blackout posts, but actions speak far louder than words.

What I've learned throughout this week is that empathy, compassion and generosity fades the more we stay within our own bubbles of safety. The cruelty that we cause towards other people cannot be tolerated. As much as we want to protect our own well-being, we also should try to give back to others as often as we can.

For the rest of this week, I'll be doing what I can to raise my own awareness and work towards harboring more empathy and compassion. YouTube, podcasts and audio books provide an endless amount of information on racism and how we can dismantle it because the black community has fought hard long enough. It's our turn now to do our part, so what will you be doing?