Contentment vs. Happiness: How Am I Redefining This As a Single Woman In Her 30's?

Contentment is something that I've struggled with for as long as I can remember.... I know that I love my sister, and I'm sure I did feel joyful when I first met her, but I also remember being told how her whining and crying on the way home from the airport also made me cry. I think that when it comes to being female at least, happiness or joy is an emotion that we tend to hold onto more often because that's how we want to feel, even if our brains or hormones feel differently. I bring this up because happiness, or just being content, is starting to mean something else to me now, and I want to explore this topic a little further.

Contentment, for a lot of people, means living comfortably and being able to make the most of what they already have. Comfort, I realize, isn't a bad thing. Comfort can bring about a lot of emotions that can equate to happiness, but the energy or aura behind it is something that can't be faked; it just comes naturally. With that being said, I realize that I haven't been allowing myself to really feel content since my breakup, and when I do try to put in that effort, this nagging feeling of anxiety starts to creep up on me sometimes. It's easy to say that I feel happy because I'm trying to remind myself of the good things that come with being single again, but deep down, other parts of my heart are still trying to heal. I'm still trying to heal myself, but not in a way that truly makes me feel content. 

Perhaps the one thing that trips me up so often when it comes to happiness is that I'm using the word as an extension of my well-being. Every time I use just the word "content" or "contentment" in a sentence, my reaction to that word is stark. It makes me feel bored, and in turn, it makes me think that my life is boring. The nerd in me who loves psychology wants to phrase it this way: becoming wrapped up in daydreams and not living in the moment can manifest this issue called "main character syndrome". You feel like those everyday, mundane tasks suddenly make you feel like life is boring and you just want to get away from it all, like you need an escape from reality itself. Perhaps if you start to dissociate yourself from what's actually happening and just become consumed with stuff that doesn't matter, then life itself will start to feel a little less meandering. I'd be lying if I were to say this is something I haven't experienced... I know I've been prone to drifting in thought or daydreaming since my youth. 

Happiness is something that we're taught to pursue or chase after, and I know now that this type of mentality doesn't end well in most cases. Happiness isn't something that can be bought with material goods or with a bigger paycheck that's earned at the end of the work week. I remember spending at least a portion of my 20's chasing after different things that only brought me temporary joy, and while I'd say I'm mostly reformed from that kind of behavior, I know I'm only human. I feel like it's easy for a lot of people to get sucked into wanting to buy things because it's new and shiny, or maybe it's because you want to expand this one collection of stuff that barely gets used. Minimalism, in more ways than one, really has helped me when it comes to living a more balanced and intentional life, but again, the one word that comes to mind when looking at the overall perspective is contentment. Happiness is just an added bonus in this case because I'm finally in a place where I feel more in control of my life (or at least, that seems to be the case half the time), rather than letting external factors control me. 

So if I had to define what happiness looks like to me now, I would probably answer that with a question instead: Can I find a new healthy balance of what is enough for me? I still have 3 classes left to take before finally getting my degree. I'm starting to go through a phase of intense metamorphosis because now more than ever, my best girl friend is becoming someone that I can and want to trust long-term. She's supported me a lot during this break-up and reminds me of what I'm capable of whenever I fail to see it in myself, and I feel immensely grateful for that. 

To wrap things up here, here's my final take on the question: I just want to live my life in the most authentic way possible. I enjoy the job I have, and I feel grateful for all the support I have in my life from friends and family as well as my parents. Yes, some days are harder than others, but that's normal. I feel like the future is a lot brighter for me now, and that makes me feel both nervous and excited. Thank you to everyone who's reading these posts I make; it honestly means a lot to me. 

Handbag Storage & Organization + An Updated Look at My Collection (2023 Edition)

I feel like it’s been at least a couple years since I’ve made this kind of post, but considering where I’m at now with my collection, I figured, why not? I hope this guide can be of help to you in some way! 

Part 1: Decluttering and Organizing

Consider your space and how much you can realistically hold, as well as understanding what you’re actually using. Now when it comes to decluttering, make piles! This can help you become a little more decisive, but if you’re having trouble once you’ve sorted out your maybe pile, I would advise picking a different day to go through those options. Play around with them and style them into different outfits, and then consider if it’s worth keeping or not. 

So once you’ve gone through the decluttering process, I’d take some time to consider how you want to organize your remaining handbags. You can do this in multiple different ways; for me personally, I like using a hybrid system of going by color, season and type. If you’d rather sort by size or brand name, then that works too, or if you’re someone who likes for things to look pretty, you can always sort them out in a way that feels aesthetically pleasing. 

Part 2: My Own Collection

The amount of bags I own has changed a bit because of me no longer adhering to a minimalist’s standards, but I still like to keep things minimal when it comes to how a bag is designed. In total, I have 3 crossbody bags. I have one from ThredUP that’s brown and one mini bag in white from Madewell. My last one doesn’t get used often unless I go to a sporting event or concert, but it’s just a clear crossbody bag with a detachable strap that I got from Amazon. I also own one belt bag from Lululemon as well as a black one which are very handy and practical to use! 

I’d say that what I own the most are satchels and tote bags, but I also have one mini backpack from Longchamp that’s very comfortable and practical for when I want to go hands-free. I’ll admit that when it comes to satchels, they tend to range in size. I have 2 mini satchels (one from Kate Spade and another from Teddy Blake) and 1 mini bag from Polene. It comes with an adjustable/detachable strap, but I prefer to not use it in all honesty. One of my newest additions is another Polene bag (called Numero Un in the regular size) which I got in black, and the inside of it is very roomy! It can certainly hold a lot of things; I’ll probably end up writing out a more detailed review of the bag at some point in a separate post, but that won’t be until later. 

My tote bags tend to also range in size, with my “smallest” one being from Madwell. I honestly love how versatile it is, and the woven leather detail is something I love as well! I also have a large shoulder bag from Tory Burch, a monogram Coach bag, and of course, my croco-style satchel from Teddy Blake. I also own 2 clutches; one of which I bought from ThredUP, and the other was purchased from Poshmark. 

For my own space, I like to use racks that you can hang over your door. You can basically find them anywhere, like Walmart, Target or TJ Maxx. I do own a walk-in closet, but given the way that it’s structured, I feel like it would just take too much time and effort to have them all stored in there. Now if you do have more closet space, you could invest in some custom shelving units. You could also just use a bookshelf to display your favorite bags. For any bags that don’t fit on my hanging racks, I have a collapsable shelf that I bought from Amazon. I hope all of this information is helpful to you in some way!