"Hannah! Dinner's going to be ready soon!" I really hate when Gran interrupts my train of thought. "I'll be there in a minute!"
"Okay! Don't forget to wash your hands!"
Gee, as if I wasn't already doing that. My grandmother can be a handful sometimes.
Gee, as if I wasn't already doing that. My grandmother can be a handful sometimes.
Gran has this kind nature about her. When people see her, they say "Oh look, it's that sweet little old lady. She always has the brightest smile on her face!". Even in life's hardest moments she's able to smile and be optimistic. On the downside, she worries a lot and has this tendency to be overly persistent. One time when I was 10 years old, I decided to wander off by myself in the grocery store and she literally went on a goose hunt to find me. I was only in the produce section.
"So how was school today, hun? Did you make any new friends?"
I sighed and fiddled with the food on my plate some, not feeling all that hungry.
"School was fine... You know that I'm shy, right? Just give it time. I've only been in this new school for 2 weeks." In that moment Gran's expression went from all sunshine and happiness to concern. "I know that, love. I just want you to be a little more social."
"School was fine... You know that I'm shy, right? Just give it time. I've only been in this new school for 2 weeks." In that moment Gran's expression went from all sunshine and happiness to concern. "I know that, love. I just want you to be a little more social."
I sighed again and rolled my eyes. "I guess I can try to be a little more open."
Gran was noticing my attitude but didn't think twice, so she continued to talk to me, even though I wasn't in the mood for it.
"Now you better get to that homework of yours before going to bed tonight. And try not to stay up so late." I took in a deep breath before responding. "Alright."
Tompkins Square Middle School is quite something. Most of the kids here seem to know each other already and have formed groups for themselves. There aren't any cliques like you would see in a stereotypical movie. It's all just people hanging out. There are a few people who prefer to be alone and are often seen next to the lockers, either reading, doing homework, or just listening to music. Here I stand in the midst of the crowd with my books tucked under my arm, not really fitting in with anybody. It's like I'm just an outcast.
"Ahh!" Someone just sped right past me and now my books are on the floor. God, I hate when people do that. This girl shouted at me, seeming to be in a rush, "Oops, sorry! Didn't see you there. What's your name?"
"Umm, my name is Hannah. I'm in your Spanish class." With that, she came over to me to help pick up my textbooks. The girl gave me a warm smile and said, "Nice to meet you, Hannah. Perhaps you can sit next to me in class today?"
"Sure. Oh, I just realized I never got your name." I feel nervous now despite how kind this girl is being towards me. This girl likes to smile a lot. Oh, she just stuck her hand out to me. "My name is Emily." I took Emily's hand and shook it for a quick minute before heading into class.
Lunch is probably my favorite time of the day. I usually bring my lunch with me, but today I felt like switching things up a bit and wanted to eat whatever the school is serving. I'd finally found an open table with no people lingering around, but before I had the chance to sit down, Emily found me and waved at me to sit with her. We sat in silence for a few minutes and ate our food. She then looked up at me and asked, "So you've lived here for two weeks, right? Do you like it here so far?"
"I guess. I'm still trying to get used to all of this."
"I guess. I'm still trying to get used to all of this."
"Where did you live before?" Emily took a bite of food after speaking. "In Connecticut. We lived in this small town called East Hartford. I liked it there very much."
"That's nice." She smiled and took a few more bites of her food.
Feeling awkward, I decided to put my focus on Emily. "Have you lived here your whole life?"
"I guess you can say that. I grew up in San Francisco. My dad has his own business here in New York City, so we moved here because it seemed more convenient."
I nodded and scooped up a spoonful of peas. They tasted better than I thought they would. Emily proceeded to talk more about herself, knowing that I was slightly curious. "I don't see my dad all that much though, and my mom is always traveling. She just picked up this new line of cosmetics."
When I heard that I looked up from my plate and asked, "So who looks after you?"
I nodded and scooped up a spoonful of peas. They tasted better than I thought they would. Emily proceeded to talk more about herself, knowing that I was slightly curious. "I don't see my dad all that much though, and my mom is always traveling. She just picked up this new line of cosmetics."
When I heard that I looked up from my plate and asked, "So who looks after you?"
She hesitated for a minute, but then she said, "My older brother. He's such a great help to me."
The bell rang, and Emily perked up. "Oh! Didn't notice that lunch is done already. We should hang out some time. I've enjoyed talking to you, Hannah." We both smiled at each other for a moment, and then I responded, "Same here, Emily. I would like that."
On Saturday afternoon Emily and I went out to one of the local parks. We walked around the area for a bit until we got tired. We then decided to go over to this one fast food place that has great milkshakes. Emily and I were sitting in a booth, enjoying our time together. Suddenly I felt the need to know more about Emily, so I asked, "So what is it like when both of your parents are home?" She smiled and said, "Oh, it's just wonderful! My parents give me so many great gifts from their travels. My mom gives me makeup to wear, but my brother says I'm too young to wear it, so it just sits in my bathroom cabinet untouched. My dad though likes to give me jewelry and stuffed animals. The earrings I'm wearing right now are from Paris, actually." She took them out of her ears and let me hold them for a minute. "That's cool! So what is your brother like? How old is he?"
Emily took a deep breath before speaking. "He's 25 and disabled. He stays at home because he's convinced that he wouldn't make it out on his own in the real world. We try our best to look out for each other, but we do argue some. He can be stubborn sometimes. He's in good physical health and can do the basic things like cooking, driving and such, but he has these moments where he just shuts me out and sits in a corner, rocking back and forth, and crying for whatever reason. It's hard being put in that position where I can't help him."
I looked at Emily feeling helpless, not knowing what to say next. I could see tears forming in the corner of her eyes. I decided to move and sit on her side of the booth, hugging her tightly. I didn't realize that she had it this hard at home.
Emily took a deep breath before speaking. "He's 25 and disabled. He stays at home because he's convinced that he wouldn't make it out on his own in the real world. We try our best to look out for each other, but we do argue some. He can be stubborn sometimes. He's in good physical health and can do the basic things like cooking, driving and such, but he has these moments where he just shuts me out and sits in a corner, rocking back and forth, and crying for whatever reason. It's hard being put in that position where I can't help him."
I looked at Emily feeling helpless, not knowing what to say next. I could see tears forming in the corner of her eyes. I decided to move and sit on her side of the booth, hugging her tightly. I didn't realize that she had it this hard at home.
Monday has arrived with nothing special to make it worth while. I should find Emily..... Oh, there she is, right in front of Ms. Gooden's doorway. She noticed me standing by the lockers and waved hi to me. Be brave, Hannah. Just ask her. What's the worst that can happen? "So Emily... do you want to come over to my house some time? I think you would enjoy getting to know my grandmother."
Her face lit up at my invitation which surprised me. "That sounds like fun! I'll just have to ask my brother if he can drive me over to your place."
"Great! I'll give you my address later after school." Moments after I made the invitation I stood there frozen. What if Gran doesn't like her? What if she starts asking her a bunch a questions she won't know the answer to? I'm so glad that I met Emily, she's been a great friend so far. I just hope that everything turns out okay. I don't feel so good now. I wish my parents were here... I miss them so much. Why did they have to leave me? None of this would have happened if I was never born. I don't like this new city. I hate the small house we're living in; it's too cramped. I hate all of this! The last bell rang for class to start and instead of walking into the classroom, I ran to the nearest restroom and locked myself into the last stall. My body and hands are shaking, and my fingers feel numb. Stupid anxiety and depression... I hate my life, and now my head hurts.
"Great! I'll give you my address later after school." Moments after I made the invitation I stood there frozen. What if Gran doesn't like her? What if she starts asking her a bunch a questions she won't know the answer to? I'm so glad that I met Emily, she's been a great friend so far. I just hope that everything turns out okay. I don't feel so good now. I wish my parents were here... I miss them so much. Why did they have to leave me? None of this would have happened if I was never born. I don't like this new city. I hate the small house we're living in; it's too cramped. I hate all of this! The last bell rang for class to start and instead of walking into the classroom, I ran to the nearest restroom and locked myself into the last stall. My body and hands are shaking, and my fingers feel numb. Stupid anxiety and depression... I hate my life, and now my head hurts.
Gran and I had just finished dinner when the doorbell rang. "Could you get that, please?"
"Yes, Gran." I sprinted towards the door and opened it, not knowing what to do with myself. I just stood in there in the doorway, being as quiet as a mouse.
"Yes, Gran." I sprinted towards the door and opened it, not knowing what to do with myself. I just stood in there in the doorway, being as quiet as a mouse.
"Hey there, Hannah! I'm so glad I'm finally able to see your home." How is it that in a matter of seconds, Gran went from being in the kitchen to standing over my shoulder? She and I stepped aside to let Emily in. "Make yourself comfortable, hun. If you need anything, don't hesitate to speak up."
"Yes ma'am. Thank you."
I showed her upstairs to where my room is, then we decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. Emily seemed to be very pleased with everything. The house, my bedroom, the environment outside... She has this child-like sense about her, living in the moment and marveling at every small detail in the world around us. It's like she's never seen anything like this before. Seeing her acting like this brought a faint smile to my face. I then realized that she ran up a few miles ahead of me, so I quickly picked up the pace and tried catching up to her. She noticed me running towards her and we ended up chasing each other as the sun started to set, laughing and having a good time. Once we settled down, I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned my head in her direction and asked, "Are you hungry now, Emily? Dinner might be ready soon. We should head in." In that moment, Em's expression was eager. "Yes Lead the way, Hannah."
Emily unrolled her sleeping bag next to my bed, but I decided to take the covers off and just sleep on the floor next to her. She looked at me and smiled, but then it suddenly disappeared.
"So if it's just you and your grandmother, then what happened to your parents?" she asked me.
"So if it's just you and your grandmother, then what happened to your parents?" she asked me.
I wasn't sure what to do in that moment, and I felt unsure if I should tell her the whole truth. She doesn't deserve to know. I should probably say something to her, though.
"They... They left me a year after I was born." Emily had a solemn look on her face. "I'm so sorry, Hannah. I'm sure they miss you." I suddenly froze up and tried saying thank you, but I couldn't. All I could do was sit there in silence, not knowing what to feel. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. Emily noticed the look on my face and started feeling concerned. "Are you okay?"
"I'm not sure. I just wish my parents were here. I miss them so much."
"Well I'm here for you, Hannah. I love you. You're like a sister to me, and I want to help you in any way I can." In that moment, she hugged me for what seemed like an eternity. As bad I as was feeling, I hugged her back and tried to focus on her. I gave Emily a half smile and she smiled back. "Were you being serious when you said you love me?"
"Yes. I care about you and want to be there for you. You mean so much to me." Suddenly my fingers went numb and I didn't know what to say. We sat on the floor in silence for a long moment, but once Emily laid down on her sleeping bag, I thanked her. She smiled and then fell asleep. I then decided to lay down into my own covers. It took me about an hour to fall asleep, but once I did, I felt at peace.
Dreams don't happen for me often, but while I could feel myself sleeping, I could also see my parents. We were standing by the shoreline of the beach. I noticed that I was two years old instead of my current age, and my parents each held one of my hands. They lifted me up into the air every time the water reached my feet and I giggled with joy. Isn't this called lucid dreaming, where you're aware of what's happening and can somehow control your own dream while being asleep? Well either way, this feels so real. I wonder if this actually happened at one point in time.
"Good morning, sleepyhead! Come on, Hannah. Wake up!" I groaned and rubbed my eyes, realizing that Emily was hovering right over me. She had a big smile on her face and extended her hand to help me up. "What time is it?"
"It's nine o'clock. Don't you want to get some breakfast?"
"Yes, but let me wake up first." I headed over to the bathroom to splash some water on my face.
"I'm not sure. I just wish my parents were here. I miss them so much."
"Well I'm here for you, Hannah. I love you. You're like a sister to me, and I want to help you in any way I can." In that moment, she hugged me for what seemed like an eternity. As bad I as was feeling, I hugged her back and tried to focus on her. I gave Emily a half smile and she smiled back. "Were you being serious when you said you love me?"
"Yes. I care about you and want to be there for you. You mean so much to me." Suddenly my fingers went numb and I didn't know what to say. We sat on the floor in silence for a long moment, but once Emily laid down on her sleeping bag, I thanked her. She smiled and then fell asleep. I then decided to lay down into my own covers. It took me about an hour to fall asleep, but once I did, I felt at peace.
Dreams don't happen for me often, but while I could feel myself sleeping, I could also see my parents. We were standing by the shoreline of the beach. I noticed that I was two years old instead of my current age, and my parents each held one of my hands. They lifted me up into the air every time the water reached my feet and I giggled with joy. Isn't this called lucid dreaming, where you're aware of what's happening and can somehow control your own dream while being asleep? Well either way, this feels so real. I wonder if this actually happened at one point in time.
"Good morning, sleepyhead! Come on, Hannah. Wake up!" I groaned and rubbed my eyes, realizing that Emily was hovering right over me. She had a big smile on her face and extended her hand to help me up. "What time is it?"
"It's nine o'clock. Don't you want to get some breakfast?"
"Yes, but let me wake up first." I headed over to the bathroom to splash some water on my face.
Gran was already awake and shifted her focus from the stove to us once we came down the stairs. As usual, she was cheery and had a smile on her face. "Seems like you slept well, Hannah. And how about you, Emily?"
"I slept great!" She walked over to Gran's right side and decided to watch her finish up the cooking. Once she placed all the food on the table, she sat in her seat and passed me the pancakes.
Despite how groggy I felt, I managed a smile and said, "Thanks for making breakfast, Gran. It all smells great."
"You're welcome, dear." Instead of sitting down, I decided to get out the orange juice and poured some into our glasses. After putting the jug away, I came back to the table and sat down in silence. Emily smiled at me, and I smiled back at her. I feel so at ease this morning. However, I can't stop thinking about that dream I had last night. It seemed so real. Did that actually happen? I don't remember much of my childhood, but if that dream actually happened, then at least now I have something to remember them by. I smiled to myself at the thought of it.
Despite how groggy I felt, I managed a smile and said, "Thanks for making breakfast, Gran. It all smells great."
"You're welcome, dear." Instead of sitting down, I decided to get out the orange juice and poured some into our glasses. After putting the jug away, I came back to the table and sat down in silence. Emily smiled at me, and I smiled back at her. I feel so at ease this morning. However, I can't stop thinking about that dream I had last night. It seemed so real. Did that actually happen? I don't remember much of my childhood, but if that dream actually happened, then at least now I have something to remember them by. I smiled to myself at the thought of it.
The kitchen timer went off, and Gran came over to fill our plates. A moment later she was by my side with empty hands and hugged me from behind, her strong hands on my shoulders. I stood up out of my chair and hugged her back. Eventually Emily came over to my side of the table and joined in. We stayed in a group hug for a good long moment and then proceeded to eat our breakfast.
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