Living With A Disability

Whether if your disability is physical or mental, you're still you and you do your best to get by with it. I have a learning disability and ADD; I've struggled with it as a child and even as an adult some. 

Now some people have disabilities that are worse than mine, but that doesn't make them any less human. Whether if you have autism, Down syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Tourette's Syndrome, etc... we are all the same on the inside and share the same feelings and emotions- some just might have a harder time expressing what they're feeling. 

Every human being is different from each other in some way, but a simple smile and a little kindness can really make a difference to those who are struggling with a disability. Sometimes people will judge you just because you walk funny or are making too much noise, but that can't be helped. Nervous tics can't be stopped and you can't control any outburst of emotion because that's just part of living with your disability. Those who judge you or look at you weird don't matter; they don't know what it's like being in your position. What matters most is the people who speak to you like you are just like anybody else. They see your disability and don't hesitate to start a conversation in spite of that. 

I have friends and know people who have some kind of disability, and while I may not talk to a few of them as often anymore, they are still people that I care about. Life can be hard regardless of your mental, emotional or physical health, so it's important for all of us to be kind to one another; we shouldn't be settling for anything less than that. 

The Good, the Bad, and the Misguided

People can't be good all the time, but we can't also be seen as bad all the time. Humans are prone to making mistakes and sometimes our actions or intentions will be misread or judged by others. But when we label people as bad or good based on only their faults or just their good deeds, we fail to realize that they aren't perfect. We need to look at both sides of a person before we can judge or decide who he/she is.

Every person has a story that helps us to realize why they act the way they do; I can't stress that enough. However, I also realize that people need to be held responsible for their actions knowing that there are consequences for every choice we make, whether if the choice made was bad or good. 

Humans aren't gods, so why do some people put others on pedestals? This is a problem, especially with celebrities because they are seen constantly in the public eye and about half of them have a very young audience/fan base with misguided judgment- and I'm not saying that to be rude whatsoever. If you're just a mild fan of a celebrity, then this won't apply to you, but if you're someone who spends a lot of time obsessing over a celebrity and stalking their social media, then you need to realize that celebrities are not perfect. They are human just like you and don't need to be given special treatment just because of their status or fame. And while it's okay for you to be a fangirl/fanboy of any celebrity, don't let your emotions blind you from that reality. Even celebrities make mistakes in their lives and become easy targets for judgement when they slip up and say or do something wrong or bad. 

Good intentions have a way of changing based on how patient and self-assured you are with yourself and/or whatever situation you're in. Doubt may be inevitable sometimes either by your own mindedness or someone else's, but before the doubt sinks in, do your best to relax and reassure yourself. Bad intentions on the other hand are just there; they come without any warning. People whose intentions are only bad or selfish won't get very far in life on their own. 

I believe it's important to realize that every human on this earth is flawed and imperfect with some being more flawed than others. It's impossible for us to be good all the time or to please everybody. If someone doesn't like you for some reason, then consider yourself someone who's actually living life and has experienced it because life isn't perfect or easy. That's not to say that it's impossible for humans to get along, though. We just have to be patient enough and work on being better than we were yesterday or the day before. 

Are You Even Listening?

We have ears for a reason, so why do some people only listen either halfway or not at all? Listening is one of the most powerful ways of forming deeper connections with people; it allows us to be more mindful and understanding towards those we care about or want to better understand. But to better understand this issue, we also have to talk about the meaning of general understanding. 

A lack of understanding comes from the inability to listen and/or see the world from another person's point of view. This flaw that some people have can either be good or bad depending on the relationship. When people want to be understood, all they want is for someone to listen without interrupting. And when people want to be heard, they just want someone's undivided attention. If you're someone who values companionship greatly and can lend an ear and attention for someone in need, then you're what some people would consider to be a true friend. And of course, a lot of people can appreciate loyalty as well, but who doesn't? 

Now even though I've had friends who are fun to be around, friendship to me is more than just finding someone who you can have a good time with, but that's not to say that I don't appreciate those fun-loving people as well. I just like sharing deeper, emotional connections with people. When people are able to be honest about their thoughts and feelings, I will appreciate my relationship with that person more and become closer to him/her.

When you talk less and listen more, you are able to better understand a person's struggle in their thoughts and feelings of whatever situation they're in. But of course, that doesn't mean you can't give any advice whatsoever, especially if your friend asks for it. We all have our own ways of helping the people we care for; just don't underestimate the power of only lending an ear. 

Finding "The One" + Important Relationship Advice

Now despite all these love/relationship posts I've been making, I just want to first admit that my experience is somewhat limited when it comes to this topic. Nonetheless, social media these days makes it easy to pin-point other relationship types and the flaws that it comes with. But for this particular topic, I can speak from personal experience as I used to be that girl who thought every guy I met was "the one".

It's taken me a lot of time to realize that not every guy I meet will be that guy. If you're a girl reading this post, then perhaps you'll understand how easy it is to form an attachment or crush on somebody, especially if they're attractive or just nice and friendly to you. For the better part of my teenage years all I could think about was boys; I'd spend a lot of time over-thinking the situation and putting my heart out on the line only to have it get stepped on or put aside because he didn't feel the same way. Now obviously, I've grown up a lot since then and I'm starting to realize more every day why it could never work out in the past. 

One big question you should ask yourself upon meeting a guy for the first time is this: do I genuinely love him, or am I just attracted to/infatuated with him? When you genuinely love someone and the feeling is mutual, that's when the relationship starts. But if you're just attracted to/infatuated with him with no reciprocation, then it's probably best to let go of those feelings. That guy that you're into needs to express the same amount of interest in you as you do him in order for that relationship to start; otherwise you're only going to be left with disappointment. 

I'm lucky to now be in a relationship with someone who cares about me greatly and vice versa with him, but when it comes to love, you need to be careful with your trust- especially in the beginning. Guys and girls alike are prone to making mistakes and hurting each other whether if it's intentional or not. It's up to you to decide if it's all worth it in the end because it takes time and patience in order for trust and respect to become mutual. What's also important is how you handle conflict, because while it's easy to lean on our own discernments, you have to realize that no one is perfect even after you've decided to commit yourself to one person. Making mistakes is part of human nature and you have to decide for yourself what's more important: you or the relationship.