Having Inattentive ADHD, Dealing with Stress & General Life Advice

 If you have the same kind of ADHD as I do, then you'll probably understand the struggles of staying focused or not getting too distracted in things that drain your energy. I know that as a kid, I had to take medicine to keep my focus and energy in check, but now that I'm 30 years old, a lot of the things I deal with are situational, and it's up to me alone in how I want to handle those situations. Will I handle things "the right way" 100% of the time? No. Will I buckle down under pressure or start feeling agitated sometimes because of the hows and whys when it comes to stress management? 100% yes! Having awareness of a person's disability is one thing, but a lot of what I've had to deal with, whether if it's at work or in a school setting, has been me teaching myself how to work alongside my disability instead of seeing certain things as barriers or hurdles that just can't be moved. 

I wanted to make this post because in all honesty here, mental disabilities really don't get enough recognition or acknowledgement. Asking for help can either be easy or hard depending on how you decide to cope with said disability, or how you view and carry yourself in your day-to-day life. I know I've had moments where I thought I was capable enough to do things that non-disabled people could do because of how I was being perceived by others. Whenever I associate myself with people who aren't disabled in one way or another, I start to feel tired. Not only that, but I also start to feel less like myself on the inside because I'm not taking the time to acknowledge my own limitations and create those boundaries. It's an unconscious habit, and I'm sure other disabled people can relate to this phenomenon. 

I think what makes being part of the disability community feel like home is that I know I won't be judged or chastised for simply speaking my own truth. Whether you're blind, autistic, have ADHD like me, or even have a physical disability, we have to find ways to advocate for ourselves because in reality here, no one else is going to know how to help you in all areas of life- that is, unless you end up in a position where having that extra support is required. So with that being said, I've been finding it very helpful to find communities on social media, but of course, I'm sure there are other in-person resources if you'd rather have that in-person experience. 

I know that I am privileged in some regards when it comes to my own journey and how I navigate life. If there's one thing I would say to anyone else out there who's like me in some way however, it's that even in the worst of circumstances, there's still a choice you can make for yourself based on how you see things. Let me break down what I mean by this... Let's say that you've entered a relationship and things didn't end up working out. In the end, there are two questions you could ask yourself here: 

1. Is there something I can learn from myself in this situation? 

2. Is there something I can let go of in order to expand my own peace of mind? 

Letting go, I realize, isn't an easy thing to do. Life doesn't always allow certain situations to gain closure or to have that positive outcome, but the things you learn about yourself is something that's invaluable. 

Relationships are a subject for another time, but to wrap up this post, I just want to say that even with all the experiences I've gained so far, I know there are a lot of things I'm still trying to figure out. No one really has their life figured out, and that's okay. I don't like to sugarcoat things or put on an act just for the sake of it. What you see is what you get with me, but I'm still going to be careful with what I choose to put out there. I know that in previous eras of my life, I've struggled with having these firm boundaries when it comes to my online presence, but with this post in particular, I really just wanted to quickly revisit this as this is a passion of mine that's really become more developed over the years. I am disabled. I'm not as insecure about this as I once was in my early 20's, but at the same time, I still have those moments every now and then. I'm just as human as anybody else on this earth, and in all honesty here, I feel like things can either get better or more complicated depending on how I spend my time and energy. I guess the one thing that's keeping me sane is remembering my motivation and reasons for the actions I take as well as learning to prioritize balance and rest. 

Faith As An Adult (Updated)

I wouldn't say that it's a vivid memory, making that early post on my blog about faith, but I feel like this topic now has brought me a different perspective at 30 years old. I don't associate myself with the Christian teachings or the community 100%, but that doesn't mean I lack faith or that I don't believe in God. For all I know, God is just this little force that's out in the universe, or maybe it's just this spark of energy that helped to put the world into motion. I don't know, but if there's one thing I do know, there's more to life than just questioning every little thing and acting as if you can find the answers on your own. People are allowed to think what they want or believe what they want, but in my own life at least, I just want to live my life and keep things simple. 

What's ironic is that when I first went to therapy, I didn't even question the notion that the kind of help that I'd be getting would be faith based. I was very confused, and in more ways than one when it came to my own life and state of being on a mental/emotional level. Part of me knew this, but I just couldn't help myself. I kept questioning things, and I would keep finding myself in this state of self-inflicted depression and anxiety because I kept trying to figure things out with little to no support because of my own stubborn and selfish nature. 

I realize that the main reason why I stopped being a Christian is because I wanted to stop having mental breakdowns; I wanted to stop feeling hopeless and depressed. Most people who choose to leave Christianity either have an issue with the people in the community, or because they can't stop questioning things. For me, the second one is what my caveat was; I just couldn't understand anything within the belief system. That, plus I was struggling way too much with my own sense of worth and purpose. 

Getting older allows either for more hardship, more clarity, or perhaps a mix of both. I try my best these days to not overthink things so much because it gives me a headache. I also try my best to trust my own intuition and instincts. More importantly, I realize that it's okay for me to not have all the answers. Honestly, faith is just one facet of life; it doesn't have to dictate your entire way of living. Faith helps to keep people going; it gives their life some sense of meaning, and there's nothing wrong with that. On either side of the pendulum, you'll find people who are incredibly judgmental, but you'll also find a lot of people who are just misguided. Looking back, I don't know if I ever took things to an extreme when questioning the bible or God in general, but then again, I guess I've just come to an agreement with myself now to stop dwelling on things that I can't understand. I am human after all, and no human being is going to be able to understand everything, no matter how much you try. 

So comparing my much earlier post back then about faith to how I see and define it now, faith is separate from beliefs of any kind. It's something that you get to have based on how you decide to shape your own, individual life. Morality, in my eyes at least, is an essential part of the human experience; we need it as much as we need oxygen to breathe. If you never judge the actions of any other human being for what you believe is wrong, then you're basically looking for chaos to happen. I feel like some things in life really are just given to you the moment you're born. Perhaps this means that I'm finally becoming more spiritually connected, and certain things are starting to make more sense to me. I feel happy in saying that, but of course, I still hold great value in individuality and authenticity as well as advocating for the happiness and well-being of others.