Novella #1, Chapter 8: A Family Emergency

For some people in New York, Christmas Day means going to church or throwing a party with lots of presents and a big tree. But for Hannah and Gran, the only thing they had planned was a small home-cooked meal and two or three presents each. But before Christmas Day showed up, Gran had explained to her granddaughter that the trust fund that was inside her parents' will would cover college and that Grand-dad's will was nowhere to be found. Gran did have a lot of money stashed in her savings from the previous jobs she's had over the years, but that was to be spent wisely.

Hannah and Gran were sitting by the fireplace in the living room enjoying each other's company in the comfortable quiet. Hannah was laying flat on her back, listening to the crackling of the fire while Gran was sitting in the recliner reading a book. Hannah didn't notice when she left the room, but apparently some sort of surprise was in the works. She could hear her grandmother talking in hushed tones to a man who had knocked on the door. She let him in and moments later the man wheeled in a big package that seemed to be the same size as a crate.
"I have a surprise for you this year, Hannah," Gran said with a proud smile on her face. "I definitely think it will lift up your spirits since I know you've had it rough this past week."
The way she said that made Hannah very curious, so she rolled off her back and came towards the box. After five minutes of peeling away the tape and cardboard, the first thing she noticed is a rose colored carrying case for animals. Gran looked at her granddaughter with excitement and said, "Open up the crate, sweetie."
Hannah followed her instructions and out came a little white West Highland terrier who was roaming from one end of the room to the other. Her eyes intensely followed the dog's movements for a brief moment, then she spun around to face her grandmother and hugged her.
"Thank you SO much, Gran!" she said with a smile on her face. "This is literally the best present you've ever given me!"
After parting the hug, Gran said, "I'm so glad you like him, hun. This one was definitely worth the money, and I'd be happy to help take care of Sparky for you."
"So that's his name? It definitely suits him," Hannah said as she watched the dog dart from the couch to the coffee table.

Hannah spent the next hour or so chasing Sparky around the living room while Gran was cooking dinner in the kitchen. She hadn't felt this good in a while and was glad to finally have a companion around to keep her busy.
"Hey Gran, I'm going to head outside and take Sparky out for a walk," she called out as she headed towards the door.
Gran stepped out from the kitchen and handed Hannah her cell phone. "You might need this then so that I can let you know when dinner is ready."
"Thank you," Hannah said, smiling and hugging her grandmother one last time.

The sun was starting to set and Sparky was in the middle of marking his territory when the phone started going off. Hannah picked up on the second ring. "I need you to come back inside now," Gran said in a weary tone. Hannah was starting to think that maybe something went wrong considering the fact that they usually eat before sunset. She tugged on the leash and Sparky ran right in front of her, wagging his tail eagerly. The two of them ran home and found that Gran was kneeling on the ground with her head in her hands.
"What's the matter, Gran?" Hannah asked, suddenly getting worried.
She didn't respond right away, but she steadily got herself up from the floor. She seemed fatigued and was barely able to move from the spot she was in to the dinner table. Hannah rushed to her side and pulled up a chair so that she didn't have to walk.
"Please tell me you're okay. You're starting to worry me," Hannah said. She leaned in close her grandmother's chest to see if she was breathing okay. It seemed that she was panting instead of breathing in and out. Hannah laid two fingers on her wrist to make sure her pulse was normal. She couldn't tell, but Gran certainly seemed to be more tired than usual. Sparky was sitting on Gran's right side. He whimpered and cocked his head to the right now, wondering what was happening in this moment.

"Stay Sparky," Hannah said solemnly. She helped Gran up out of her bed and got her settled on the couch in the living room. She wasn't sure on what to do, so she called Gavin on instinct. He answered on the third ring.
"Hi Hannah. Is everything okay?" he asked.
"No. Something is wrong with Gran. She seems so frail and weak and I don't know what to do!" Hannah was frantic and was starting to get anxious. A wave of panic had swept over her and all the words spilled out. "She was fine before I left to take Sparky out on a walk and she called right as the sun was setting. I literally raced home and now she's laying down on the couch and I have no idea what has come over her. I- I need help!"
Gavin could tell that his girlfriend was panicking, so he told her that he would be on the way. He immediately rushed out of the house and got inside the car to come over to Hannah's house. Once he got there, which only took thirty minutes, he saw that Hannah was sitting on the front door steps with her head in her hands. He couldn't tell if she was crying, shaking or just felt emotionally numb, but he walked up to her anyways and put his arm around her.

Gavin decided to crash at Hannah's house for the night, but he insisted on sleeping on the couch instead of sharing a bed with her, so Hannah was alone in her bedroom feeling restless. It was going on one o'clock in the morning, and seeing that sleep wasn't going to happen any time soon, she came downstairs and sat at the right side of the couch. She looked at Gavin intently for a few minutes, then leaned in to kiss him on the cheek which made him roll over on his right side. She laid a hand on his head and then got up to check on her grandmother. She had helped to walk Gran to her bedroom moments before Gavin showed up. Now she stood in front Gran as she laid in bed, desperately hoping that she will be back to normal soon. If not, she wouldn't know what to do with herself.

Hannah went back to the living room and sat in the recliner. She took a moment to think over what was happening to Gran. Was it some kind of cardiac arrest or a minor heart attack? She was panting and finding a pulse proved to be difficult. She's not a doctor, but perhaps she could call one. They would be able to find out what was wrong. After debating the matter for five more minutes, Hannah went into the kitchen and picked up the phone. The digital clock that sat on the counter said that it was 2:00 am. Would any doctor be awake this late in the night? She then thought of someone who would be able to make the rounds.

Novella #1, Chapter 7: The Last Goodbye

Since the fight that went down a few days ago, Gavin has been contemplating his idea about meeting up with Emily. At this rate, doing so might not be the greatest idea. She and Hannah are drifting further apart and he wasn't about to complicate things even more by doing this. At the same time though, he never got a chance to properly introduce himself to Emily. After spending the next half hour pacing back and forth in his room, he decided to take this risk. What's the worst thing that could happen?, he thought to himself.

The first week of the holiday break was coming to an end and most of the people in New York were either getting their shopping done or just hanging out in coffee shops. Hannah was up in her room with the lights out, wishing that Gavin was there to save her out of depression and heartache. She couldn't stand not having contact with him. She tossed and turned in her bed and cried out in desperation. After spending an hour feeling hopeless, she bolted out of bed and snuck downstairs to grab the phone by the kitchen counter. It took her a few minutes to figure out what Gavin's number is, but once she remembered, she talked herself out of it and decided to call Emily instead.

After three rings the phone picked up on the other end. "Hello?," Emily said in a groggy voice.
"Hi... It's me, Hannah." Immediately she was regretting her decision to call, but she was trying to remain hopeful for whatever reason.
Emily rolled over to see what time it is on her bedside table. The clock said 1:30 am. "What do you want, Hannah?" she asked impatiently.
"Umm.... I'm sorry to wake you up, but I just want someone to talk to. I haven't felt all that great since leaving school last Friday evening." Hannah was being sheepish in her response.
Emily rubbed her eyes and faced the ceiling of her room. Why would she want to talk to Hannah this late in the night? She rolled her eyes, took in a deep breath and said, "Why don't you talk to that boyfriend of yours? I'm sure he'd be able to help you more than I could anyways."
If Hannah wasn't feeling so down she would have snapped at her for that remark, but she just rolled her eyes and hung up the phone.

Time seemed to pass slowly, and Hannah was staring intensely at the phone, debating on whether or not she should try calling Gavin. She desperately wanted to hear from him, but at the same time, what if he doesn't pick up? Before she had the chance to dial, the screen lit up and she pressed the talk button before it started to ring.
"Hello?" she said nervously.
"Hey, how are you doing?" Hannah had recognized Gavin's voice immediately, but she didn't recognize the number that was on the screen. He must be using someone else's phone.
"Gavin?" she asked shyly. "Whose phone are you using?"
"I have to use my sister's phone for a while because I accidentally dropped mine. I just wanted to see how you're doing," he said in a calm voice. "I haven't heard from you in a while."
Hannah cleared her throat then slowly responded, "I'm doing fine. Gran has my phone and doesn't plan on giving it back until Christmas break is over. You remember the fight I got into, right? I had to stay after and go to counseling for some stupid reason."
"Oh, okay," he said. The two of them sat in silence over the phone for a long moment. Suddenly, Hannah felt a sob creeping up inside her throat. She tried to push it down, but the tears were already forming. The phone dropped to the floor and she cried out once more.

"What's wrong, Hannah?" Gavin asked, suddenly feeling concerned. The phone was accidentally put on speaker when it hit the floor, and Hannah picked it up to turn it off so that Gran wouldn't hear.
"Why are you crying?" Gavin's voice had a worrisome tone as he heard his girlfriend break down on the other end.
Hannah didn't respond right away. She just felt so empty and alone. Eventually she pulled herself together, but she was starting to feel ashamed, so she said, "I'm sorry. I should go now and try to sleep. Thank you for calling me tonight, though."
"Anytime, love," Gavin said. His voice was calm despite the weariness he felt in his head. "Please try to take care of yourself, for me."
"I'll try. I love you," she said as she tried to catch her breath.

Morning approached faster than Hannah wanted. She had awoken twice in the night, so she felt drained and uneasy as the sun flooded in from her bedroom window. Gran was out making her usual early morning run to the grocery store, so she was left to make her own breakfast. Once Hannah had made it downstairs, she heard the doorbell ring. She looked out the peephole in the door before opening it. It was Gavin.
"Hey! What are you doing here?" Hannah asked in surprise as she let her boyfriend in.
"I've missed you," he said with a long look on his face. "That phone call we had last night just didn't do much of anything for me."
"Unfortunately I can say the same thing," she responded apologetically.
Gavin stood out in open area, feeling slightly uncomfortable. He looked down on the floor for a few minutes and then looked back up at Hannah.
"Come with me," he said. "I've been meaning to do something for a while and I think now would be a great time."
Hannah hesitated to take his offer, so she asked, "And what would that be? Gran is going to be home soon and I don't think she would be happy to know that her granddaughter is missing."
"I'm not kidnapping you," Gavin said with a laugh. "I just want to get you out of the house. You've been cooped up in here for way too long."
Hannah felt nervous. She wasn't sure if she wanted to do this. However, the way her boyfriend was looking at her made her laugh and she finally caved in.

Moments later the two of them were outside of their favorite restaurant where they had their first date. Hannah hadn't expected her boyfriend to lead her here, but just standing outside the entrance was enough to have her get caught up in the moment. Suddenly a smile formed across her face and she dove in to kiss Gavin on the lips. This had reassured Gavin that he wasn't making a mistake with this plan he had in mind. The two of them walked inside and were heading towards their usual table.

The atmosphere inside was casual except for the nerves that Hannah had inside her stomach. Most the servers were around their age or in their early twenties. They were all wearing jeans and work shirts. One the servers was sitting at a booth in the far right end looking at her phone. Most likely she was on her break.

Hannah stood a foot away from the table, refusing to sit down. She didn't bother to hide her sudden irritation when she saw who was sitting in their spot."What the hell? Why is she here?" she asked her boyfriend in a disapproving tone. "I thought this outing was just for the two of us."
Gavin was quick to respond, "Please don't leave, Hannah. I just want the three of us to have a good time."
She rolled her eyes and grudgingly came to the table. Emily was acting like everything was okay and offered an insincere smile to Hannah. Does she know something that I don't?, she asked herself.

An uncomfortable silence lingered in the air as the three of them ate their lunch, but that was broken once Emily asked a question to Gavin, "So how long have you and Hannah been together?"
He smiled and said, "It'll be five months on January fifteenth."
"Did you really have to ask that?" Hannah asked her out of annoyance.
Gavin gave her a stern look. "Don't be rude," he said sharply. "She was just being considerate."
Hannah slumped back into her seat and sulked while her boyfriend played catch-up with her ex-best friend. I'm so over this, she thought to herself. She excused herself to use the restroom and five minutes later, Emily decided to do the same.

Hannah was in the middle of drying her hands when Emily waltzed in. She first looked into the mirror to check her appearance and fix her hair. She then turned to face Hannah and gave her an insincere smile. Hannah was starting to get irritated with her, so she gathered up her courage and asked her, "So why are you here, Emily? Did David have other plans today or something, or were you just looking for an opportunity like this to rise so that you could embarrass me again?"
"Why would I embarrass you?" she said in the most falsely innocent tone. "You embarrass yourself. Stop holding your breath out on me."
This made Hannah glare at her. "What are you talking about?" she asked.
"Why did you call me so late last night?" Emily asked, immediately switching her attitude from pristine to serious.
Hannah struggled to find a response. She stammered a little as she tried to answered her question, "I-I was lonely. I wanted someone to talk to."
"Well I was dead asleep when you called," Emily said. "Ever heard of being considerate to others?"
"Don't lecture me on that." Hannah said, suddenly feeling drained and annoyed. "My consideration for you flew out the window when you humiliated me in front of the entire school a couple months back."
Emily was armed with defenses and wasn't about to let Hannah get away with this pathetic act she was displaying. "Are you seriously still hung up on that?" she asked with annoyance. "Why don't you stop living inside your head and just move on already?"
"Are we really going to do this again?" Hannah was now losing her temper, so the words came out harshly.
Emily smirked and was about to slap her in the face, but Hannah caught her arm midway in the air and shoved it back by her side. "We're done here," she said, glaring at her harshly. "And you better stay away from me for good."
When Emily heard her say these words, she froze. She felt emotionless on the inside. Hannah didn't stick around long enough to see what would happen next, but once she was out of sight, Emily locked herself in the handicap stall and broke down into hysterical sobs.

Once Hannah got back to the table, she told Gavin that she was ready to leave. He put the pen back inside the check book, took his copy of the receipt, and then followed Hannah out to the car.
"Is everything okay?" he asked.
She didn't answer right away, but the way she looked at him as she fell into his arms said it all. She was exhausted and didn't want anything to do with Emily anymore. Lesson learned, he thought to himself, now feeling a little guilty. He held his girlfriend in his arms and stroked her face gently as she cried and shook uncontrollably.
"I'm sorry, Hannah," he said in a calm voice. "I shouldn't have done this. I should have just stayed out of it."
Hannah was still crying in his arms. They sat by the curb of the parking lot for about an hour before heading home and neither one of them said a word to each other on the way back. When Gavin came to open up the passenger side of the car, he took his girlfriend's hands into his own, leaned in to kiss her, then said, "I don't know what's going on inside your head right now, but I think it's best that I take a few steps back. You just lost your best friend today and I feel responsible for that. I'm sorry, Hannah. I hope that in time that you'll forgive me."
He kissed her one last time and then got back in the car to head home. Hannah just stood there on the front door steps with tears in her eyes. "I forgive you," she said as she watched him drive away.

Novella #1, Chapter 6: Consequences

Since the last encounter before the last day of school, Hannah and Emily have only been drifting further away from each other. But before the last bell rang and all the students hurriedly exited the school feeling relieved, the two girls got into a physical fight. It all started when Emily intentionally shoved Hannah and tried to be cute about it afterwards, sarcastically apologizing to her for doing such a thing and then pushing her back to the ground. This made Hannah quite irritated, so she started tugging at Emily's hair and ripped the necklace she was wearing off her neck. In that moment Emily decided to go into Hannah's backpack, took her eyeliner, and wrote on the wall in big letters HANNAH IS A LOSER. She then proceeded to break the pencil in half. Hannah then decided that enough was enough and slapped Emily in the face. Emily did the same thing back and pretty soon they were tugging and pulling at each other's limbs and hair. This drew in a crowd of people and they were taking photos of the fight to post onto Twitter. The physical pain of this fight continued on for ten minutes, but it was then broken up by none other than the principal himself since not a single teacher was in sight. 

Emily is now sitting in the principal's office hearing the man talk about her behavior and how it was out of line of her to go to such extremes. She was barely listening and could only focus on her own frustrations. "Miss Leighton, are you listening?" Mr. Brown asked, noticing that Emily was zoning out on him. "I need you to tell me yes or no on your parents signing this suspension form." She hesitated, but then responded, "Yes." 

"Good. I'll contact them right now and fill them in on the incident." Mr. Brown was very direct in his tone and didn't waste time with this meeting. Most likely he had other things to worry about and this fight came at the worst time possible with it being the last day of the semester. 

Meanwhile, Hannah was sitting in the counseling office with her grandmother. The two of them got into a little spat as to why Gran should go in with her, but the decision was final and Gran wasn't going to change her mind. This fight that the two girls got into had her terribly worried and feared that this would add onto Hannah's depression and anxiety. So while Gran and the counselor talked about what would happen after the break, Hannah was left in her own thoughts, wondering why she had to put up with this. It's not her fault that her once best friend is now deciding to be cruel to her. If Emily had a problem with the way things were going, why wouldn't she just talk? Then again, Hannah herself hasn't allowed any explanations herself, so she kind of understood where she was coming from. Assaulting her was so not like Emily, though. Did something happen between her and David at home? She knew that her parents were barely around, but Christmas break is just starting. Surely they would take some time off to be here now. Hannah's thoughts were interrupted when Gran stood up from her chair and shook the counselor's hand. She shook the woman's hand as well, and then they made their way towards the car and went home without saying a word to each other.

Back in the principal's office, there was a lingering sense of nervousness and anxiety in the air. Emily was very quiet, and Mr. Brown was pacing back and forth with the phone in his hand, talking to Emily's dad since her mom was out of reach. Ten minutes later after hanging up, he said, "So your dad said that he'll get here as soon as he can. Until then, I will give you fifteen minutes to use the restroom and get a snack. We're going to be in here a while. I'll leave the door open." Emily nodded and headed towards to the water fountain that was only a few feet away from the main office. At this point she was feeling tired and was anxious to get home. She thought about her brother and wondered what he was up to, so she took her phone out of her bag and texted him: "Hey, David. I'm still inside the school. Dad's on his way and we may be here later than I thought. I hope you're doing ok. I'll ttyl8r tonight." 

He responded immediately: "Tell dad hi for me when he gets there. I hope everything's going okay with you. I saw that fight you got into w/ Hannah on Twitter. I really hate how this is all turning out, but I hope it'll pass over soon. Ttyl8r."

Emily sighed and made her way back into Mr. Brown's office. She was so over all of this. She was about to turn back around and head towards the restroom, but she could hear her dad's voice from inside the office. He sounded tired and impatient. 

"I don't know why Emily acted out like this, but if suspending her will teach her some kind of lesson here, then so be it," Mr. Leighton said. "Where do I sign?"

Is he serious? Emily thought to herself. The one time he decides to show up and he's not even going to consider the real reason why I'm in this mess. Talk about childhood neglect...

She was standing right outside of the office just listening in on the conversation her dad and the principal were having. Once she made herself visible in the doorway, her dad automatically stood up and came to where his daughter was standing.

"Hi Emily," he said in his husky voice. There was no sincere tone in his voice when he made his greeting, and this made Emily feel two feet smaller. "Hi dad," she said sheepishly.

"Would you like to join us inside? You might be more comfortable sitting down." He was trying to be polite, so with no argument Emily just walked in without saying a word.

Mr. Leighton was very cordial with Mr. Brown when they parted ways. Emily was still as silent as a mouse and she stayed that way the entire ride home. 

"So what caused this fight anyways?" her dad said, suddenly feeling out of the loop. "Is this over some boy, or was this all just gradually built up and you couldn't keep it in any longer?"
Emily didn't respond right away, but eventually she spoke up. "The second one is more likely," she said.

Her dad mumbled a "mm-hmm" in response and didn't say anything else. So while he may not be the best at carrying an interest for his kids, his work ethic is remarkable as mentioned publicly by several of his clients. He rarely takes a day off unless he's extremely ill, and he would never be caught seen in jeans and a t-shirt. Since his marketing business has taken off as of last year, he has spent countless days making sure that no one has slipped up or or would make the business look bad. 

When they finally reached their home, Emily was quick to get out of the car and straight into bed. She was tired and not willing to tell anybody about the troubles she's had with Hannah, but she knew that David would be concerned and want to know. I guess I'll just tell him in the morning. He's probably asleep now anyways, she thought to herself.

Back in Hannah's house, Gran has been talking her ear off during dinner, asking why this fight even happened and if Emily is going to be suspended or expelled. 

"How am I supposed to know?" she said in an impatient tone. "It's because of this stupid fight that I had to stay inside the school until nearly six o'clock! And don't ask me again why it happened, because I'm not telling you." Hannah rolled her eyes, which only made Gran press harder.

"I have a right to know, honey," she said in a weary voice. "I have done all I can to make sure you're happy and healthy. Those pills I prescribed for you last month have sat there untouched. If you insist on not taking them now, then you might as well say goodbye to Gavin." This made Hannah lose her temper, but instead of talking back, she just ran up to her room and slammed the door shut. A lot of thoughts were racing through her head and she just felt helpless. Gran had taken away her phone and said that she would keep it until the end of the holiday break, so not having contact with her boyfriend was driving her mad. What did I do to deserve this?, she thought to herself. Emily is the one who started that stupid fight in the first place! God, she's so damn selfish! Hannah's anger soon lead to depression, so she started to cry and shake uncontrollably. 

It was going on one o'clock in the morning when Hannah's mind went numb and her depression started sinking in. She could feel her energy depleting and tried to fight back the tiredness in her eyes. She then started feeling anxious and her stomach was cramping up. Normally she would head straight into the restroom, but she instead went to her desk and decided to write a letter. After sitting there for ten straight minutes and thinking about what to say, she finally got up to get some water and use the restroom. When she came back, she finally thought of something:

Hi Emily. 

I don't know how to start this, but I'm tired of fighting... I'm just so done with all the shit that we've done to each other. We have been best friends since the start of middle school. I didn't want things to end up this bad, and perhaps you feel the same way... I don't know. Can we just put all of this behind us and start fresh? You know, forgive and forget? I'm sorry for not being as open as I have been, and to be honest, I wouldn't blame you if you do hate me. I guess I just want to say I'm sorry... For everything. I can still remember when you told me that I was like a sister to you, and the minute you told me that 2 years ago, I was stunned to silence because no one has ever said that to me. It's amazing how I can remember something that sweet when I usually only remember the bad things in my life. You have impacted my life in ways I can't describe. That sleepover is something I could never forget no matter how hard I try. I miss you. Please write me back, because I have no other way of communicating at the moment. 

-Hannah

Novella #1, Chapter 5: Sticks and Stones Don't Break My Bones, But Words Do

Several weeks have passed by since Hannah and Gavin's first kiss, and with mid-terms being just one week away, everyone in the school was feeling on edge and tense. Emily hadn't heard back from her best friend, so she was starting to get worried and anxious. Hannah wasn't telling her much of anything, more or less just avoiding her and spending all her free time with her boyfriend. She was trying her hardest not to get discouraged by all of this, but inside she felt as if she could break at any moment. We didn't come all this way for nothing, she thought to herself, suddenly getting angry. I deserve an explanation for this second round of isolation.

When lunch came around, Emily was able to spot the two lovebirds in the far, left hand corner of the cafeteria. For a moment she felt lost and vulnerable, just standing there out in the open with a tray full of food in her arms. She gathered up her courage though and marched up to where Hannah and Gavin were sitting.
Standing right in front of them with a very sly look on her face, Emily asked, "Excuse me Gavin, do you mind if I talk to Hannah in private for a minute? This won't take long."
"Go ahead," he said with a smile on his face. "We weren't talking about anything important anyways."

Hannah wasn't prepared for what Emily had to say and had no idea why she chose now to talk to her. But before she could protest, Emily went on with no hesitation, saying, "You have left no time for me. I'm your best friend! If this is how you're going to treat me from now on after all we've been through, then I guess this friendship is over. That is, unless you're willing to be reasonable now, but I highly doubt that."
"You're kidding, right?," Hannah asked, not bothering to hide her sudden annoyance. "You have no idea what I've been through! You left me without saying goodbye back in middle school, and now you're mad at me again because I'm not making time for you? I have depression, do you not remember that? Not everything is about you, Emily. You are so full of yourself. Just do me a favor and stay out of my life!"
Emily's face was turning hot red as she listened to her best friend say these things to her. Okay, fine, she thought to herself. You want to be that way towards me? I can serve it right back. 

"You think I'M selfish? How about you listen to yourself for a change! Oh, I'm sorry that you have depression. Let me cater to your every need because you don't know how to cope with it. Some best friend I am for not being there for you when you were falling down into a black hole of sadness. How about you try working on your own attitude instead of blaming me for everything!"

Tears were threatening to show up on Hannah's face, so she bolted out of the cafeteria and locked herself in the janitor's closet. Gavin immediately chased after her, and Emily just stood there feeling nothing. Her anger got the best of her, but instead of regretting her words, she just stormed out of the big open room and didn't care to notice that all the students were staring at her.

Gavin was standing right outside the door of the closet, begging for Hannah to open up and let him in. To his surprise she actually did so, but then she slumped back to the corner of the room and started to sob. He stood there frozen for a few minutes, but then he rushed to her and put his arms around her. "Hannah, I'm so sorry," he said in earnest. "This is the last thing I wanted to happen. I didn't want to get in the way of your friendship with Emily. You need to make things right with her."
"She hurt my feelings and humiliated me in front on the entire school, Gavin," she said sheepishly, wiping away her tears along with her now runny mascara. "How can I forgive her for doing that?"

"One of you needs to be the bigger person," he responded. " I can say from experience that getting into fights isn't fun, but not clearing the air and staying mad will just make you two drift away even further. You two haven't talked to each other in months. I want you to be happy, Hannah, because you have done so much for me. If you hadn't approached me on the first day of school, none of this would have happened. I'd just be known as the scrawny nerd with no friends. Please, go talk to her."

Hannah didn't know how to respond to what her boyfriend had just said. Suddenly she felt like crying again. Her body tensed up, and she started to stutter. "I-I don't know. I thought that we could make things work, but you heard her. She's just.... She's just.... " Her words weren't coming together, and Gavin could see that she was hurting. "It's okay," he said as Hannah fell into his arms, sobbing again. "You're okay. Everything's going to be alright. I'm not going anywhere. I love you." Gavin never thought he would be put in this position, sitting on the floor of the janitor's closet and trying to comfort his girlfriend. In this moment he realized just how lucky he was, and this gave him more confidence in himself.

"I, I love you...," Hannah said through half sobs. Gavin held her tightly and kissed her wet cheek. Hannah then sighed and rested her head on his lap, trying to calm herself down. "You are so good to me, Gavin," she said. Hannah could feel a smile crawling up to her face despite how messy she looked. But instead of talking, she just sat there in the quiet with her boyfriend. She didn't want this moment to end, but reality came back into focus when the bell rang for 6th period.

"I should get to my class now," Hannah said in a rushed tone. "Thank you so much, Gavin." She kissed him on the lips and then hastily got back up onto her feet, sprinting to find Mr. Gregory's classroom. Now Gavin stood there in the closet alone. Eventually he made his way out of the closet and went to his next class, but he was too distracted to focus the rest of the day. He was so in love with Hannah. It was only a matter of time before he would find himself wanting more of her every day. As he thought this through, he realized just how much of a dent he put in Hannah and Emily's friendship. What if they never reconciled and just ended things on the spot? This argument they just had during lunch was definitely a sign. Guilt was starting to cloud Gavin's mind, but he decided to push it aside and think about his relationship with Hannah. He loves her and wants what's best for her. Perhaps instead of eliminating himself, he should try to get to know Emily better. That wouldn't be such a bad idea, right?

Friday has come and gone, and now the weekend is here. Hannah was with her grandmother picking out a Christmas tree while Emily just spent time up in her room avoiding her brother. The minute she told him about her problems with Hannah, he instantly took control and started yelling at her for being insensitive to her best friend's feelings. So now David is sitting in the corner of the room, panicking and rocking back and forth. Emily wouldn't dare try to calm her brother down since she was already feeling on edge. All she could think about is the fact that she's not handling the situation very well. What if David is right and she just needs to stop focusing on herself? She shook that thought out of her head and went back to what she thought was the original problem. Hannah doesn't trust her and it's all her fault. I can never forgive myself for messing this up, she thought to herself. Emily was thinking too hard, but she didn't know how to stop, so she just hid under the covers and cried herself to sleep.

Novella #1, Chapter 4: Love and Darkness

For two weeks Hannah sat alone up in her room, refusing to talk to anybody. The weather outside had been grey and rainy the past several days. Gran was more worried than ever, and every time she tried reaching out to her granddaughter, she would just avoid her and look out the window. Emily's apologies just weren't enough for Hannah. She didn't invite her to summer camp. She never cared to call or even send at least one letter. If Emily cared, she would have made some kind of effort to keep in touch.

The silence was broken when the doorbell rang. Gran opened the door and saw Gavin standing there looking worried and a little frazzled.
"Is Hannah here?" he asked. "I want to talk to her some if that's okay."
Gran responded, "Of course! Would you like anything to drink or eat?"
"No thanks. I'll just go upstairs now," he said.

Hannah was still sitting by the window sill when Gavin opened her bedroom door.
"Is everything okay? I haven't seen you in a couple weeks," he said shyly.
She didn't hear him, or perhaps she just didn't feel like talking. He didn't know what to say, so he just made his way up to her and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Please talk to me, Hannah," he said, feeling a little unsure of himself. "I've missed you. If I had known about what you were going through, then I would've been more than happy to help or just listen. Anything is better than silence..."
Still no response. At this point he might as well man up and tell her again his feelings.
"I love you, Hannah," Gavin said nervously. "Do you know why I'm here? Because I care about you. I never thought that our relationship would have happened, but I'm glad that it did. You mean so much to me. I want to help you, so please let me in. Just tell me what's going on."

In that moment Hannah finally turned around, tear stains on her face and dark circle under her eyes. He could also see black streaks on her face. Seeing her like this only broke Gavin's heart. What is going on in her mind? Why is she torturing herself like this?

After sitting there for a few moments in silence, Hannah suddenly got up out of her seat, bolted into the bathroom, and locked the door behind her. Gavin had followed her, feeling confused, overwhelmed, and a bunch of other things. He's never seen his girlfriend in such a horrible state. He so desperately wanted to help her. Now he was standing on the opposite side of the bathroom door. What is she going to do to herself? Heaven forbid if she cuts herself or attempts suicide; he would never forgive himself if she did that. He started banging furiously on the door and said, "PLEASE open up, Hannah! I'm not leaving until you let me in! I love you! Please!"

"Leave me alone!" she yelled out in panic. She wasn't about to expose more of herself to him. Just seeing his reaction to her face was enough reason to want out of this relationship. Shame was starting to come over her, so she kicked the cabinet underneath the sink, slammed a few drawers open and shut, and drove herself into a frenzy. She kept pacing back and forth, wishing that there was a knife within arm's reach. But then she thought of her grandmother. Gran... she's the only family that Hannah had left. If she cut herself to death, she'd never forgive herself. Though Gran may be annoying at times, she does love her. Perhaps she should start making that known to her more often. The sudden realization had taken over her whole body, so Hannah slumped to the floor, feeling helpless. What is my life? I hate this, Hannah thought to herself. She then decided to sit down in the bathtub, hugging her knees to her chest and started to sob uncontrollably.

Gavin couldn't get his mind to stop racing. He knew that Hannah has depression, but he didn't know that it was this bad. Before he met her, he was just another scrawny kid who was constantly picked on for being a nerd. Now here he is, standing outside a bathroom door, hearing his girlfriend cry out in anguish. He couldn't stand to just sit here knowing his girlfriend was feeling tortured and helpless. He loved her, and all he wanted to do was help her. More than anything, he just wanted to take away all this pain she's going through.

Somehow Hannah was able to pick herself up, head towards the sink, and turn on the faucet to wash her face. She spent a full five minutes scrubbing away all the evidence that is her depression. She then looked at herself in the mirror, feeling in the least bit satisfied. She then decided to pull out a brush from the right hand drawer and combed out her ratted hair. After standing there looking at herself in the mirror for five slow minutes, she headed towards the door. She took a couple deep breaths and tried to calm herself down before turning the doorknob. You'll be okay, Hannah, she thought to herself. You just got over the worst of it. You love Gavin, and he loves you. Stop being so afraid. 

Still waiting outside, Gavin started to grow impatient. But before his hand reached the for the knob, it twisted open and Hannah stood there in front of him. She then just flung herself in his direction and held onto him, hugging tightly. Suddenly Gavin went from feeling tense to feeling relaxed. He returned her hug and whispered in her ear, "I love you so much."
She whispered back, "I love you too. I'm sorry."
"No need to be sorry," he said, cutting her off. "I just want to help you out."

"Don't you take any medication to help control your depression?" Gavin asked. He and Hannah were now sitting outside on a park bench. The sun was starting to set, and knowing that she probably needed to get out the house, they decided to take a walk after dinner.
"No," she said without hesitation. "I hate to think how much worse off I'd be if I was on anti-depressants. You should be happy I was able to save myself before things got any worse."
"I guess I'll give you that then. You did scare me, though," Gavin said, feeling nervous. "Can I ask what else caused that outburst? Are you sure there's nothing else on your mind besides that argument you had with Emily a couple weeks ago?"
Hannah tensed up as soon as he asked that. "Do you really want know?" she said, suddenly feeling nervous
"Yes," he said without hesitation. "You know I'm always here for you."
I guess I better tell him now then, Hannah thought to herself. I can't keep this hidden any longer. 

Before she went on to speak, Hannah took several deep breaths. She then looked up at the sky. The sunset was so beautiful at this time of night. Once she gathered up her courage, she said, "My parents died several years ago. Side note, Emily doesn't know the full story. I just couldn't get myself to be fully honest when we had that sleepover two years ago. But anyways, Gran told me that they died in a car crash just minutes after getting out of the movie theater. The driver was drunk and it was very dark outside. That's all I know. For some reason I have trouble forgiving myself for their death. I wish I could have done something to help prevent that from happening. I was only seven, you know. I don't have very many memories of them."

Gavin stood there with an empathetic look on his face. He immediately put his arms around Hannah and said, "I'm sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what that must feel like, losing a loved one. You know what, though? You have me, Emily, and your grandmother. You should be grateful to have a few people in your life who care about you. It's like my mom always says, never take the ones you love for granted."

Hannah didn't know how to respond to that comment. All she knew was that she felt so attracted to Gavin in this moment, so she took his face in her hands and passionately kissed him on the lips. His body instantly eased up and he reciprocated the passion that he could feel in her kiss. He was so drawn to her, and he could sense that Hannah felt the same way with the way she kept kissing him. Their lips stayed engaged for several minutes and they didn't care to acknowledge that there was a full moon hanging in the sky.