Minimalism Basics Series: Building Your Own Identity & Confidence

Some people may have certain vices or coping mechanisms that may help them feel better momentarily, but the feeling doesn’t last in the long run. These vices might include smoking, drinking, substance abuse or even sex. The thing with these kinds of behaviors is that they can be addicting, and even if one has thought of stopping but has trouble committing himself to that, changing that behavior will take time. It’s not easy, and in worst case scenarios, they may need to be put in therapy and/or rehabilitation.

So you might be thinking, what does this have to do with minimalism? Sometimes in order to get better or heal, we have to acknowledge our own vices or negative behavioral patterns. If you’re someone who buys things out of impulse, or has held onto more than what you need, there’s probably a psychological reason for that. There’s this thing called the scarcity complex, which means that if you see a certain item that you feel is essential but isn’t, your mind reacts in a way that’s based on fear. It’s like we’re back in survival mode and we can’t get by without it, so we hold onto everything just because we can. Those who grew up in the Great Depression era most likely experienced this, and as a result, they may have stockpiled up on a lot of things that may not seem necessary in today’s culture.

The thing with impulse shopping or hoarding is that while society tends to overlook its effects, they can and will create more damage in the long run. I’ve talked more about this addictive shopping habit in a couple past blog posts, but just to keep things simple here, all I’m going to say is this: Our self worth matters. Our mental and emotional well-being matters. If we cared more about the consequences of our actions, or just cared more for our well-being in general, perhaps we’d realize that the only thing we need to define ourselves is not only us, flaws and all, but also the people who care and love us the most. Now I'm not saying this to sound pushy or be too persuasive, but let me ask you this: when you think about your ideal or "dream life", does that life come with a lot of baggage or clutter? Does that life include a sense of peace, calmness or contentment? Think about it, or write down your thoughts in a journal if you want.

Our identity is NOT based on material items, and while there's nothing wrong with buying things that are related to a specific interest or hobby, there is a difference between having those hobbies or interests and buying things just for the sake of having them. A lot of people in today’s society seem to have this belief that what we acquire or own is an extension of who we are. If that was true, then is it really worth your time and energy to maintain a closet full of designer clothes, shoes and accessories you only wear and use a couple times each year? Is it worth your time and energy to collect and maintain different pairs of Nike sneakers that a famous sports player has talked about in advertisements? Is it worth your time and energy to maintain an entire bookshelf dedicated to your favorite author’s books, or that massive DVD or CD collection you own, but barely go through and watch/listen to? Think about whether or not all that time and money spent on these things is really worth it. If your answer is no, then perhaps it’s time to pair down and only keep what is necessary to you. If your answer is yes however, then by all means, keep doing what you’re doing.

I personally believe that our identities can be built in whatever way we see fit. With that being said however, I would like to advise you to exercise caution and be mindful. Before getting into minimalism, I remember when I had over 30 t-shirts, a storage bench full of DVDs and CDs, and more sweaters than what I could go through in one season. At the time, I thought that the key to maintaining all of this was to find the “perfect organizational system", but in reality, I realized that all that clutter was only adding to more stress and overwhelm to my life. Minimalism has taught me that my identity does not need to be defined by my stuff, as that less really is more. I hope that reading this inspires you to feel the same.

Books I've Read During Quarantine

Reading is something that I do enjoy, but in the past, I’ve always told myself that the only way I can read is if I’m on vacation. This belief has always kept me away from reading during the work week, but with the current state the world is in, I realize now just how silly it was to tell myself that belief. The reality here is that if I say I don’t want to before or after work, then I won’t. There’s always time for reading or learning, but if you won’t make time for it, then it simply won’t happen.

This list of books is a mix of fiction and non-fiction, and if I’m being honest, I’m having more fun with non-fiction books now than I ever did in the past (all I ever read is fiction growing up). I hope you’ll consider these books, because I know I highly enjoyed them.


1. See Me by Nicholas Sparks- This is the last book from Sparks that I’ve kept in my collection. I used to have a dozen books by him, but they’ve all been donated now. I think the reason for that is because I’m ready to be more open-minded, and to find other books that aren’t just fun, but are also inspiring to me and for my creativity. Nonetheless, this book definitely provided a good escape as it goes from a sweet romance to a thrilling experience.

2. Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss- I’m not going to go into too much detail with this one as I’ll be posting a separate review of it, but this book really kept my attention from start to finish. It’s fascinating how the mind works sometimes, and whether if you believe in past-life therapy or now, Dr. Brian’s telling of this true story is definitely something that’ll leave an impact on you.

3. Don’t Keep Your Day Job- This is more of a current read that I just got started on, but from what I’ve listened to so far (I decided to pick up the audiobook version instead of a hard copy), I can definitely say that the insights that author has leaves an impact. The author (Cathy Heller) has a podcast on Spotify, titled the same as this book, so naturally, I decided to follow that for more stories/inspiration once I’m finished with the audiobook. 

4. Attack On Titan (manga)- For some anime series, there’s a manga that goes alongside that. This means that the books aren’t made traditionally, and instead of having to keep up with a thousand printed words, you’re having to keep up with a thousand pictures or illustrations like you would a comic book. I must admit that because the manga (and the anime) are heavily driven by action as well as dialogue, I can only read so much before getting dizzy with all the information that’s being shown/told. Nonetheless, if you’re into anime or are looking for something less traditional, I’d recommend some other manga series if not this one in particular.

Minimalism Basics Series: Life Struggles & Insecurities

Throughout my years in education, I had a language processing disorder and had trouble keeping my focus, so naturally, I was prescribed some medicine to help with that. Back in elementary school, I had a little bit of trouble forming words on paper. My parents have done a lot to help me with these struggles I had, and I couldn’t be more grateful for their support in those early years of my life.

If you’re someone who’s struggling with a certain subject in school, then that’s okay. However, there’s a difference between trying and putting forth the effort and not trying at all, or sleeping through your classes and expecting to get good results. The same can be said for anything else in life; we all have certain things that we’re struggling with.

Before you hit the exit button or jump ahead onto the next task, here are some questions that I’d like for you to reflect on. You can either say these responses aloud or silently, or you can write them down in a journal if you prefer to do that.
Why do we compare ourselves to other people?
Why do we feel the need to fit in, be noticed or feel accepted?
Why do we discount the positives that other people may say about ourselves, or tear down the confidence of others?
Would you treat somebody close to you the same way you treat yourself?
Why is it easier for us to deny or pass blame onto others than to own up to our actions or mistakes?
Would you rather try to chase after something that’s far from reach, or just work on doing your best and being the best you can be?

The ties that minimalism has to these questions or “revelations” is that once you’ve downsized your belongings, you have no choice but to look inward at yourself. Decluttering your items to only the things you love or value the most can be done by anybody, but it’s usually that inward process that comes afterwards that people struggle with the most (or at least, I know that it was difficult for me). For quite some time, I’ve always told myself that I don’t like taking the spotlight or having other people’s focus on me. What I’ve learned in saying this is that I’d rather be a follower than a leader, or that I’d rather sit in the background and be an observer. We all have the potential to reach greatness in some way, and the choice is ours to either believe that we have what it takes or not. One quote I remember using in a project last year is “Your only limit is yourself”. I believe this a lot more now than I ever did when I was in my late teens or early 20’s. So ask yourself, would you rather be a follower or a leader? Would you rather be a silent observer, or an activist for the things you’re most passionate about or believe in the most?

I think it's no secret that most of us believe that actions speak louder than words. However, I want to throw in this little reminder of speaking kindly to people, and yes, I realize that this is sometimes easier said than done. It doesn't matter if you know the person or not, or if the person deserves it or not. We all have our faults, and none of us are perfect; it's as simple as that.

I believe that it's important to remember that minimalism doesn’t stop once you’ve downsized everything in your life. Just like life in general, minimalism is an on-going process, and you’ll learn new things along the way. I know that for me, I've gained a lot more confidence in myself and my abilities. I've also become less fearful of change and more open to the possibilities around me. We all know that change isn't easy, or how it's easier to only see things in black and white, but from my perspective at least, life is more exciting when you're seeing and living in the grey areas of life. I hope these insights I've shared give you something to think about.

Minimalism Basics Series: Values & Distractions

As a lifestyle, minimalism is about more than just decluttering and working towards having less stuff. I personally believe it’s about building a life that’s based on simplicity, meaning, personal fulfillment and self-development. To break this down, I’ll be spending the next few weeks talking about what it means to live a life that reflects your ideal self, so for today, I’m going to start with this question: What do you value the most, and which other areas of life are distracting you from that?

Distractions are everywhere. A co-worker or classmate may want you to help them with a project when you’re already busy with something else. Your boss or teacher may want you to take on another assignment or stay after hours when you have other things that need your attention. Sometimes, people just feel this need to please others to the point that we spread ourselves too thin and become exhausted; no one should have to live like that.

Technology can also be a bit of a distraction in today’s society. A text or phone call from your husband, wife, sister, brother, etc. may pop up and you instantly feel the urge to answer it right away while you’re out with a friend. A notification about the latest news or celebrity gossip might show up on your computer, and instead of focusing on your homework, you’ll decide to check that because of this fear of missing out or wanting to stay informed with anything that’s new or exciting.

Cutting out distractions is hard; I know this well myself. What’s even harder though is continuing to put everyone else’s time and attention above your own and not taking that time to care for yourself. I also know how easy it is to get sucked into something else that’s not productive, like using your free time to shop for things you don’t need, or spending too much time on social media when we could be doing something more productive or worthwhile. These distractions are constantly bombarding us, and yet, they just drain our energy and take away our time and attention.

I want you to take the time to think and reflect on the following questions listed below. If you need to, you can say your responses aloud or write them down:

What kinds of distractions could you work on removing from your life?
What kinds of mental or physical clutter are keeping you from feeling content with your life?
What does contentment or joy mean to you?
Which people in your life are leaving a negative or damaging effect on you?

When I first started getting into minimalism, part of me realized that the source of my stress, discouragement and depression was because of a lack of balance and consistency with what I was doing. I had just gotten home from secondary school for job training, and while the experience wasn’t all bad, I just wasn’t able to feel like myself half the time when I was there, and recovering from that experience took some time. I was still shopping on a semi-regular basis for things that I enjoyed at the moment, but didn’t really reflect my lifestyle. I was also still under this assumption that in order for me to be happy, I either had to please others, acquire more stuff or constantly keep up with what was trending or cool at the time. This in turn led me to feeling lost and confused because I was just going in circles, not understanding why I still didn’t feel happy. In some cases, I felt like I had no purpose in life, or like I was just struggling to see another day.

I’ve learned a lot in the last year or so, so I hope these insights are helpful to you. If I had not known about minimalism, my journey would probably have continued on with all these struggles until much later in my life. Life in general isn’t perfect, but we shouldn’t have to sacrifice ourselves in order to find or pursue happiness- though, that mindset isn’t the healthiest in my honest opinion. Happiness starts when you learn to cultivate it yourself and look inward, no matter how hard that may be.

Review: Anthony Ongaro's Break the Twitch Community

When the New Year started, I knew that I wanted to start getting back on track with my health amongst other things. It’s always easy to eat too much, spend too much or get a little carried away during the holiday season, and even if you’re not big into New Year’s resolutions, it’s always good to get back into our routines and have that fresh start.

YouTube has evolved a lot since it first launched back in the early 2000’s, so for me, getting back into these changes meant finding some accountability since it’s not always easy to get back into being healthy by yourself. I’ve been subscribed to this one channel for a while called Break the Twitch, and while the owner of the channel (named Anthony Ongaro) has talked about this community before, I never took an interest in it until after the New Year. Since joining this community, I’ve found a few different tools that have helped me immensely with my health as well as my time and attention.

What I’ve learned within the last few months of being part of Anthony’s community (which you can sign up for at his website [link: https://www.breakthetwitch.com/]) is that whatever habit you want to build doesn’t need to be too extravagant or strict at the start. I’ve also learned that once you’ve removed those distractions from your life, you can start to put more of your time and attention on things that matter to you.

I’m just as guilty as anyone else of checking their phone too much, and Anthony calls this the “news feed twitch”. The thing with technology is that while it’s a great resource for a lot of different things in life, it can also take away your time if you’re not careful. With me having this blog, it’s important that I stay focused on that without getting distracted, so what I’ll usually do is turn my phone upside down or leave it on the other side of the room while working.

Using meditation to help improve my focus and attention has honestly been very beneficial, and it’s also a great way to alleviate stress or anxiety. One cool thing about being part of this community is that you can virtually connect with other people (through an app called Slack, and all group sessions are done through Zoom), and so now meditation doesn’t have to be a solitary thing you do alone. The same can be said if you want company while working from home. All of these resources can be found when you join, and navigating the website and chat room isn’t much of a hassle.

As an introvert, I can say that being part of Anthony’s community is a nice side feature for if I want that sense of camaraderie while working on my blog or doing some other task. Now I understand that for some, physical human connection may be more comforting, so if joining this online community isn’t for you, then that’s okay. If you’re looking for some place to learn and grow with others however, then this is the place for you.

Short Story: Curious and Free

Some people would rather take comfort in holding onto a belief system. Other people would rather let their mind and soul wander, roaming free throughout the Earth and discovering new ideas or ways of living. If I were to tell you that there’s comfort in freedom; in knowing that you can believe whatever you want or be whomever you want, how would that make you feel? Would it intrigue you, or would you react in fear or timidness?

For someone like me, I think that there’s a feeling of excitement. I remember the days of my childhood, where the only thing that mattered was my friends and I playing outside under the warm sunlight, hearing the birds chirping as well as the sound of footsteps on the sidewalk as couples pass by, taking their early evening stroll. Thinking back to those days of simplicity makes me smile, and at the same time, it hits me with a bittersweet feeling, knowing that all I have are memories of that time.

I was raised into a Catholic family, and so it never occurred to me then that there was so much more to life than what I was taught. I was always told to just do good for others and for God; to be respectful, kind, work hard, follow the rules and repent your sins. I was also told that the devil is real, but that never stuck with me growing up. Now I wouldn’t say I was a troublemaker or hated following the rules, but sometimes, I would find myself in odd predicaments or situations because of my curious nature. One time when I was twelve, I overheard a conversation that was going on in my neighbor’s house. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop as I was only playing hide and seek with a couple friends, but I couldn’t ignore it as I was hiding against the bushes of their back porch, with only the screen door being in its place. Now I couldn’t make out every word that was said, but with what little I could register, I grew worried and suspicious. It sounded as if they were in an argument, because I heard a couple curse words being said in a mildly hushed tone. I wanted to investigate, but what good would that do for me? I had no way of knowing what was going on inside, and even if I wanted to find out, I would probably be sent home and punished for eavesdropping, and I knew I didn’t want that.

Just as I heard someone say “Get out of my f**king house”, I ran from my hiding spot and continued running until I was back on my own front porch. It wasn’t the vulgar demand that had me scared really, but more the fear that they could have heard me rustling around outside. I don’t think anyone noticed however until a woman stepped out and waved to me like nothing happened. After she went back inside, I stared at the house in confusion, because I knew something bad did happen.

With me living on my own in the city for a year now, it feels like my adventures in life are still fun and exciting, but a little more tame than they were when I was a child. The people here aren’t as open or trusting, so making friends here hasn’t been easy so far. However, I still find myself smiling and I try my best to remain positive. My boss is flexible and understanding, I have my own office that I set up here in my apartment, and I get to travel to different places around the world. Never in a million years would I have thought that I’d be able to make it in this profession that I’m in, but nonetheless, I am grateful.

“Hey Sam, you did a great job with that editorial piece you worked on for last year’s edition.”
  “Thank you, Mr. Mason. I’m just glad that you gave me that extra time to get it finished.”
“It’s no problem. You know how I am; I just want my employees to feel happy and comfortable. Speaking of which, the new intern should be here any minute. You should stick around and introduce yourself.”
  “I would, but I’m already swamped with other projects that need my attention. That, plus I finally found myself a date tonight.” I can feel my cheeks turning red, but I guess Mr. Mason didn’t think anything of that last comment. He’s always been open and friendly, but he’s never really been the type to talk about his personal life, so I always just assumed that our relationship is strictly business.
“Well, you could at least stop by the break room. I brought in some doughnuts and a small chocolate cake; a little sugar never hurts anyone.” He chuckled and then showed me to an open buffet of desserts. Looks like some of the employees here contributed to the snack bar as well. I saw some chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies perfectly placed on a round platter, a tray of brownies, a small bowl of grapes, honeydew and strawberries, and at the far right end, there was a cluster of cups with soda poured into them. I laughed for a minute as I stood there, still taking it all in. “Wow, I don’t know where to start!”
  “I’d recommend the brownies first. Cheryl made them herself!” Mr. Mason pointed in her direction, then took a brownie from the tray in front of him. I examined the display a minute longer, picked up a plate, and then started filling it with strawberries and honeydew. Sweets aren’t typically my thing unless I’m celebrating a birthday or some other special occasion.

“Well, just let me know if you ever want to move your office here into my building.” Mr. Mason took a napkin from the table and wiped his mouth. “We’d love to have you here so that you’re not missing out on the fun, but I understand that everyone’s work ethic is different. Just don’t work yourself too hard, okay?”
  “I appreciate it, and I’ll try my best. Thanks for allowing me to come in and speak with you. I feel like this next project I’m working on deserved a face-to-face meeting.”
“Oh, it’s no problem at all. Feel free to stop by whenever you want.” After throwing away my plate and cleaning up my face, I made my way towards the door. Just as I left, I saw what looked like to be the new intern standing in front of me. We both stood in awkward silence for a moment before the intern extended her hand out to me. “H-Hi. My name’s Alex. I’m new here; first day on the ‘job’.” She laughed nervously, not knowing what to say next. After I shook hands and introduced myself to her, I made my way outside and started heading back to my apartment.

For some reason, going on dates always makes me nervous. I can never figure out what I’m supposed to do, and it always takes forever for me to decide on what to wear. I don’t want to go looking too casual, but at the same time, I don’t want to look like I’m going to a funeral or wedding. My closet is probably in need of a cleanout because most of the stuff in there is either too casual or too professional. I could go with my black dress and some black flats, or should I go for my heels? I only have two pairs of heels, one of them black and the other being silver/metallic. I guess the metallic heels would look good with this. Now what should I do with my hair? I hope this date goes well. I’m so nervous that I can feel my heart beating louder than usual. Thankfully I’m not someone who gets sweaty or passes out easily, but I am still a little anxious. Just when I felt a surge of panic rising in my chest, I swerved around and called out, “Alexa, play some calming music.”

Now I’ve never met this guy in person before, but after a few exchanges on Tinder, both of us felt ready to see each other tonight. I found out that his name is Shane Matthews. He has dirty blonde hair with hazel eyes, and out of all the other profiles that I swiped left on, his online bio felt the most real and honest. In our first conversation, I learned that he works next door to Mr. Mason’s building as a defense attorney. Turns out that Shane’s boss and Mr. Mason are close friends, which was a funny surprise. I also found out that he grew up close to where I lived, but a few more miles away.

I checked my phone to see it was only 8:30; he should be here any minute. The two of us agreed to just take a walk around the city, then stop by the nearest ice cream and shake shop on the way back.

Seeing Shane for the first time in the doorway, I couldn’t help but look down, hoping my knees wouldn’t buckle or give out of me. He is attractive, but also kind given his warm, nonjudgmental smile. He extended out his left arm, and I placed my hand on his bicep, realizing just how firm and strong it is. He placed his hand on mine and I looked up at him, suddenly realizing that his eyes were locked onto mine for a moment. “Are you ready to head out now? You look great by the way.”
  “Thank you, and yes, we can head out now.”
“Great. I want to show you something while we’re out tonight.”

After an hour of walking around, Shane pulled my arm a little and we started running towards the center of the Square. “Where are we going? My arm is tired.”
  “You’ll have to keep running to find out.”
“My legs are tired as well.” Shane laughed at my comment and then picked me up, being careful enough to not drop me on the ground. “Is that better?” I smiled and laughed, and before I could do anything, he inched his face closer to mine to kiss me. I was shocked for a minute, but then I closed my eyes and went along with it. His lips felt soft, and yet, I could also feel something else in his kiss. It was passionate, but still gentle as he ran his fingers through my hair. After a moment, he released his grip and I stood back up. We held hands the rest of the way as I followed him to the center.

“So this is what you wanted to show me?” We were now standing in front of a museum, and I gave Shane a confused look. He laughed and said, “Turn around, silly. And keep your eyes shut.” I did as he instructed, not knowing what was happening. Part of me feels anxious, but I’m also excited. Just as I was about to squeal out of impatience, he placed his hands on mine and lifted them off my eyes. Right in front of me, I saw nothing and glanced over to him. “Look up,” he said while smiling at me. It was then that I saw fireworks going off, and I instantly hugged him. “How did you pull this off?”
  “I know a guy. But just you wait! The good part’s going to happen soon.” Within a couple minutes, I could see another set of fireworks spiraling up, each one of them spelling out a letter. Eventually I could see all the letters in full, spelling out the question “Will you be my girlfriend?” I turned around in Shane’s direction, gave him a kiss and cheerfully said yes.

Once we entered the ice cream and shake shop, Shane offered to take my purse as we made our way towards the line. He said that this will be his treat, and while that made me feel a little uncomfortable at first, I shrugged it off and went along with it. We both ordered a fruit sundae with chocolate syrup on top, and once we sat down at an open table, we ate in silence for a couple minutes.

“So Shane, what do you like to do outside of work?” After he finished a bite, he cleaned up his mouth before responding. “I usually like to work out at the gym a couple times a week. I also try to attend church every Wednesday and Sunday. I’m fairly new to the city, so I haven’t found a church that I like yet, so I’m just seeing what they have to offer here for now. It’d be great if I could find one with people within my own age range, but I haven’t had any luck yet.” Hearing him say that took me by surprise, but I remained respectful. I told him about my upbringing a little bit since I couldn’t find anything else to add to the conversation. “Have you ever thought about going back to the Catholic church?”
  “What reason would I have for going back?”
“I don’t know… I just thought that maybe you’d want to be closer to your family, or just find someplace where you feel like you belong, if that makes sense.”
  “Well, I appreciate your concern, but I don’t necessarily feel that way. I enjoy this sense of freedom I have, knowing that I can be whomever I want or believe whatever I want to believe in.”
“I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying.” Shane finished up the last of his sundae then got up to discard his cup and spoon. When he came back to the table, I had finished up my sundae and stood up. I picked up my purse and cup, made my way to the trash bin to toss it, then came back to the table. I remained standing, and Shane looked at me with worry and confusion. “Are you going to end this relationship before it even starts? I really like you, Sam.”
  “I really like you as well. I just feel like both of us need to take a step back. Our values are completely different, and while I do still want to be your girlfriend, I’m just not sure if this is worth it or not.” Within a few minutes Shane's worry suddenly turned into sadness, and I wasn't sure how to make the situation better, or if there was anything I could say in general.
“Why does it feel like you’re breaking up with me?”
  “I’m not! I’m just…” I took in a deep breath before saying anything more. “I need time to process this. I’ve never been in a relationship like this before.”
“What do you mean, ‘like this’? What does ‘like this’ mean?” I didn’t answer his question, and we continued to stand in silence for a long moment.

Both of us were silent on the way back to my apartment, and neither one of us felt the need to hold hands or kiss each other before Shane left. The next day at work, I put all of my focus on my next assignment and didn’t touch my phone. I did hear it buzz a couple times, but the messages were only from Mr. Mason as he wanted some updates on where I was at with my next assignment. I called him back, but only got his voicemail, so I left a message with any information I thought was necessary. Afterwards, I decided to head out to Mr. Mason’s building.

I’ve never been the lonely type as I enjoy doing things by myself, but occasionally, I do get this feeling of restlessness. Sometimes whenever I’m not working, I’ll find myself drifting off or just getting lost in thought. My parents have always had these thoughts of me being married at a certain age, then settling down and having kids. Now I’m not against the idea of having kids or being married, but those kinds of things take time- and more importantly, it takes finding a partner who can help share the work and effort. I don’t consider myself to be someone who lives to fit society’s standards; I like to do things at my own time and at my own pace. I also find it a bit presumptuous to say things like “you should have a job by this age”, or that “you need to be married and have kids to experience happiness”. In my opinion at least, people should just get married, have a job and have kids whenever the time feels right to them. Happiness comes in many forms, and you only get one life, so why not just enjoy the ride and experience everything that life has to offer?

“Hey Mr. Mason, I think I’ll take you up on that offer you made the other day.” Just as I walked up to his office, he stood up from his desk and smiled. “I figured you would sooner or later. You can still work from home whenever you like, but you’re always welcome here.”
  “I appreciate it. Which desk will I be taking?”
“How about the one by the window?”
  “That’s perfect. I need to make a phone call, so I’ll be right back.”
“No worries. You can get your desk set up at your own pace.” I stepped outside of the room, closed the door behind me and took my phone out of my purse. It seems as if Shane hasn’t thought to call or text back since our first date. I thought about checking up on him, and before I could make a decision, my fingers were already dialing up his number. I stood there in panic, but I was brought back to reality when his voice entered the receiver. “Hey, Sam. How are you doing?”
  “I’m doing fine. How are you holding up?”
“I’m still breathing.” He chuckled for a minute, and then his tone became serious again. “I want to apologize for the other night. I feel like I reacted a little too much, and I’d like another chance with you if that’s okay.” I didn’t say anything for a while, and when he noticed the silence, he spoke again. “Are you still there? I hope I didn’t stun you too much.”
  “Umm, can I call you back later tonight, Shane? I’m about to do some work here.”
“Sure. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.” I hung up my phone, hurried back to my house and started to collect some things to put into my desk. I’m not sure what inspired me to make this change, but I feel like I should thank Shane for that.

After getting home from work, I decided to call Shane back. I wasn’t really sure where this thing with him would go from here, but I knew I had to say something to him. I picked up my cell phone from the coffee table and stared at it for a brief moment, not sure of what to say or do next. Dialing his number might be a good start, I thought to myself. Just as I was about to search his number through my contacts, the phone lit up. It’s him. “Hey, what took you so long?” I laughed at his remark and said, “Sorry. I was actually about to call you myself.”
  “I guess I beat you to it then. Listen, if you’re not ready to be in a relationship full-time, then I get it. I’m sorry if I came on too strong during our first date. To be honest, I think I was a little nervous and just wanted to impress you.”
“I feel like I should be the one to apologize, treating you like a cold fish. You seem like a great guy, and you have a good sense of humor. Do you think we can continue hanging out, but just as friends for now?” I could hear Shane letting out a sigh of relief, which made me smile.
  “I’d like that, Sam.”
“Me too. Do you want to hang out later tonight? I was thinking we could stop by this one restaurant that serves seafood tacos. A lot of people have been talking about it.”
  “Sounds interesting. I can pick you up at 8?”
“I’ll see you then.”

Dating someone whose values are different from yours isn’t easy, and if I’m being honest, I’m still unsure of how long this will work out with Shane. We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks now since getting back together, but I’m not in any rush. He’s definitely a great guy and I really like him. When I told this to my new friend Angela at work, she was thrilled and wanted me to keep her in the loop. Speaking of which, I honestly haven’t felt happier since working in Mr. Mason’s building whenever I feel like it. Within two days of the transition, I found out that Alex is Angela’s niece who has now been hired as a part-timer. She finished college just last week and wants to eventually get some experience as a field journalist like myself, so Mr. Mason naturally decided that I should be her mentor.

“Well, I should be heading home now, Alex. Keep up the great work.” I smiled and offered a handshake, which she politely reciprocated. I can tell that she’s still trying to adjust to being a part-timer, so I’m doing my best to advise her without having her feel overwhelmed with a lot of information. Once Alex packed up her stuff and exited the room, I turned to Angela and said, “I think she’s getting the hang of it. What do you think?”
  “I agree with you, but try not to hover around her too much. She needs space to figure things out on her own.”
“I understand.”
  “By the way, how are things going with you and Shane?” I smiled for a moment before answering her question, and that just made Angela press even more. “Do you think he’s going to propose to you soon?”
“I think we’re just going to take our time on that. I’m not in any rush, and I’m sure Shane would agree with me on that.”
  “Whatever you say. You two do look cute together.” I laughed and then headed towards my desk to pack up my stuff for the day.