What Are My Core Values & Beliefs?

1. Open and Honest Communication- I realize now that while I still consider myself highly spiritual, I don't want this one facet of me to override my ability to speak from a place of complete transparency and openness, and especially in relationships. It hasn't always been easy for me to be open about my own personal issues, so perhaps it would be easier for me to admit that while I don't want to limit myself, I have since accepted this one harsh reality that not everybody has your best interest at heart. I would rather keep myself to a standard that’s open and honest around those that I can trust because this allows for more genuine connections to take place.

2. Authenticity- Being with someone who allows me to be 100% myself and to freely express myself is such a great feeling. God knows that my heart has been through a lot over the years, and while I try my best to take comfort in His promises, the journey of allowing Him to work through my own heart always feels a little easier when I have friends, or even a partner, who are able to offer full respect for the kind of person I am deep down.

3. Freedom and Independence- While I don’t want to speak for anyone else here, I’d like to think that most people would associate freedom or independence with being able to make choices that can satisfy their own happiness and well-being. It’s not overrated to think that happiness is something that can be an extension of one’s well-being, because in all honesty here, a world without joy or happiness just feels dull and boring to me. Life is too short to play by society’s rules or to allow others to tell you how you should live your life; I've learned this many times in my life and I can tell you this from experience: the less you care about things that don't matter, the better off you are in the long term!

4. Spirituality & Wellness- The way I see the world is directly connected to how I feel about myself on a mental, emotional and spiritual level. If I feel like I’m operating too much from one lens and not allowing enough balance to exist, then some readjustments need to be made. I don’t like seeing things purely from a black and white perspective when it comes to religious or spiritual affairs, and my reasoning for that is because I believe in compassion, empathy and unconditional love- and these are things that I know that Jesus has embodied during his time here on earth. It’s not my place to shame people or to cast down judgment unless it’s absolutely necessary, and quite frankly, I feel as if too many people in this world tend to get hung up on behaviors that don’t give away the full picture. It’s one thing to say that you won’t tolerate abuse or violence; I would obviously never condone such acts. However, I feel like it’s inexcusable to ignore or dismiss any underlying mental or emotional problems that could possibly aid to any “bad behavior”.

Getting to this place of fullness of what I believe in and not feeling sorry for that has been a process. I've been putting in a lot of work behind closed doors to unlearn certain beliefs that didn't feel like my own, and the person I want to become is someone that I can feel proud of in my own right. It is possible to create a life by your own design, and I hope that speaking up on what I believe in can help encourage anybody out there who may feel lost, confused or hopeless. Your life and well-being matters. NEVER forget or lose sight of that!

What I've Learned About Adult Relationships

"Adult" relationships tend to involve a lot more complexities, and the reason for that is because even though every relationship in general comes with a lesson to be learned, the weight of them over time as you get older becomes more pertinent to the state of your well-being. 

A lot of people tend to say that you shouldn't settle for less in relationships, and the older a person gets, the more this becomes a core focus. At the same time however, one must be able to understand that being overly demanding or critical doesn't equate to not settling for less. You can't make anybody see your worth; that is an inner job that only you can do for yourself. Complaining about trivial issues such as your partner's taste in music or clothing choices really aren't a big deal at the end of the day. Human behavior doesn't come without faults, and while it's easy to complain about the things your partner doesn't do or can't get done, it's usually more important to realize that we all carry faults. 

Not everybody you meet, whether in a platonic or romantic sense, will have your best interest at heart or provide a positive example. Having good intentions and failing to meet them for any number of reasons is one thing, but if certain undesirable behaviors are repeated without having learned anything, then it's up to you to choose whether or not that person is worth keeping around. Understanding tolerance or acceptance is a good measure for how much love a person holds in their heart. Forgiveness isn't something that everybody is capable of giving, but in truth, forgiveness isn't always for the person who has created issues or problems. It's more about letting go for the sake of having more peace of mind, and that's a personal choice that one needs to make for themselves in order to heal and move on. 

Petty grudges is something that I know I've been prone to holding onto. Sometimes, it's just not easy to reconcile the idea that not everybody is going to rise up to your level of expectations in love. For some, compromises may need to be made. For others, you may need to take extra time to communicate at a level that's honest and open while still holding space for empathy and compassion. For some people, it's not enough to make blanket statements in hopes that the recipient will move on from whatever it is they're dealing with. I'll admit that this is something that I still struggle with accepting when conversing with others. Open and honest communication is important to me, but if the other person doesn't value that, then it may take longer to come to a middle ground; either that, or perhaps there will need to be an "agree to disagree" kind of census. 

To wrap up this post, I feel as if relationships are only complicated if you continually choose to make them be seen as such. Perceptions need to be challenged in relationships; that's just part of what it means to grow and evolve as a person. If you continually dismiss what other people have to say, make assumptions or avoid talking about the deeper issues, then there's not much left for the relationship to stand on. And when taking Christianity into account, I'd say that believing in God and finding companionship with others who hold similar beliefs shouldn't be the only component of a healthy relationship. Every relationship takes effort regardless of where you stand in your beliefs. Every person has their own set of unique needs, and that's because every person on earth has a story to tell. I hope that this post can provide some valuable insight for anyone who needs to hear it.