The first one is all about how we view the relationship we have with our stuff. When you go out shopping, do you think about the purpose or value that this one item could bring to your life? Do you think about the functionality of the item, or what purpose it will serve once it’s in your possession? A lot of the stuff we see in department stores, thrift stores or even grocery stores may be nice to have. We may think in the moment about how adding a certain food or clothing item can bring us this temporary sense of satisfaction, but I think it’s better to think of the long-term effects and really understand the meaning of value. There’s a quote that I enjoy that comes from a particular blogger I follow, and it goes “we only assign value to things we own”. I think this is some good food for thought, whether you're just now in the midst of decluttering or if you’re thinking of buying new things for yourself. When I first heard that quote, it really set off a lightbulb moment for me in my head, like I was introduced to a whole new way of thinking when it comes to stuff and the relationship we have with the things we own.
The next mindset I want to cover that’s resonated with me is the idea of keeping things “just in case”, or for that next “what if?” scenario that may or may not happen. Say that there’s a certain item in your kitchen, like a rice cooker or instant pot and you rarely use it. If you keep holding onto it just in case, ask yourself if that just in case scenario will ever happen. Another example could be that you’re holding onto two duplicates of the same item (like a toaster or blender) and you keep thinking “what if one of them breaks?”. If you have one, good quality item and the duplicate isn’t in the best condition, consider donating that duplicate and free up some space in your home. The chances of that other, better quality blender not working are slim, and even if it does break at some point, you can always replace it when the time comes. Just be mindful of how many duplicates of certain items you have, and ask yourself which ones are worth keeping and using, and which ones aren’t.
In the case of our wardrobes, I remember holding onto two or three pieces of clothing that were bought with my own hard earned money, and so it was difficult to part with those things. I also remember holding onto gifts from other family members that I hardly used, and the longer I held onto it, the more guilty or ashamed I would feel because that one piece of clothing or that one blanket was given to me or bought with my own money. Instances like these are normal, and the shame or guilt we feel is definitely not something we should be judged or criticized for. If someone criticizes you or tells you that a certain item needs to be kept because it was bought with their money and not yours, understand that you’re still allowed to make your own decisions. The money was spent either way, and if you’re not getting full use out of something, then you can still choose to pass it on or donate it to somebody else. I think it’s normal for us to be sensitive to other people’s judgments or criticism, but we shouldn’t let that dictate whether or not we keep something in our lives. Those who judge, shame or criticize are going through their own personal issues, and while I realize we’re all human, how people respond has far more to do with them than it does with you. I feel as if this is a difficult thing for a lot of people who want to own less, but just know you’re not the only person who struggles with this. It’s okay to make your own decisions, and not everybody in your life is going to approve or be okay with it. You’re the one who owns these things; not them.
One last mindset that I want to quickly touch on is that lingering pile of “maybes” that you’re struggling to make a decision on and get rid of. I’m not sure why women are more prone to decision fatigue than men are, but one thing I’d recommend to both parties is to ask yourself if it’s worth one last trial run, or if the item (or piece of clothing) is really worth trying to fix if it’s torn or broken. I think that decision fatigue hits us when we’re stressed or tired, so in all honesty here, I’d say pick a certain day or time where you have the energy to make those decluttering decisions with a clear head. Most of the things we own can easily be repurchased unless it's sentimental, doesn’t fit within your budget or is no longer on the market.
I hope you can get some value out of this post, and if you’re working on downsizing your belongings right now when you read this, I hope this can shed some light on whatever you’re struggling with. The purging process has its challenges, so just take your time and do things in small chunks if you need to. And as always, I appreciate you reading this post. Have a great day and happy decluttering!
