For two weeks Hannah sat alone up in her room, refusing to talk to anybody. The weather outside had been grey and rainy the past several days. Gran was more worried than ever, and every time she tried reaching out to her granddaughter, she would just avoid her and look out the window. Emily's apologies just weren't enough for Hannah. She didn't invite her to summer camp. She never cared to call or even send at least one letter. If Emily cared, she would have made some kind of effort to keep in touch.
The silence was broken when the doorbell rang. Gran opened the door and saw Gavin standing there looking worried and a little frazzled.
"Is Hannah here?" he asked. "I want to talk to her some if that's okay."
Gran responded, "Of course! Would you like anything to drink or eat?"
"No thanks. I'll just go upstairs now," he said.
Hannah was still sitting by the window sill when Gavin opened her bedroom door.
"Is everything okay? I haven't seen you in a couple weeks," he said shyly.
She didn't hear him, or perhaps she just didn't feel like talking. He didn't know what to say, so he just made his way up to her and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Please talk to me, Hannah," he said, feeling a little unsure of himself. "I've missed you. If I had known about what you were going through, then I would've been more than happy to help or just listen. Anything is better than silence..."
Still no response. At this point he might as well man up and tell her again his feelings.
"I love you, Hannah," Gavin said nervously. "Do you know why I'm here? Because I care about you. I never thought that our relationship would have happened, but I'm glad that it did. You mean so much to me. I want to help you, so please let me in. Just tell me what's going on."
In that moment Hannah finally turned around, tear stains on her face and dark circle under her eyes. He could also see black streaks on her face. Seeing her like this only broke Gavin's heart. What is going on in her mind? Why is she torturing herself like this?
After sitting there for a few moments in silence, Hannah suddenly got up out of her seat, bolted into the bathroom, and locked the door behind her. Gavin had followed her, feeling confused, overwhelmed, and a bunch of other things. He's never seen his girlfriend in such a horrible state. He so desperately wanted to help her. Now he was standing on the opposite side of the bathroom door. What is she going to do to herself? Heaven forbid if she cuts herself or attempts suicide; he would never forgive himself if she did that. He started banging furiously on the door and said, "PLEASE open up, Hannah! I'm not leaving until you let me in! I love you! Please!"
"Leave me alone!" she yelled out in panic. She wasn't about to expose more of herself to him. Just seeing his reaction to her face was enough reason to want out of this relationship. Shame was starting to come over her, so she kicked the cabinet underneath the sink, slammed a few drawers open and shut, and drove herself into a frenzy. She kept pacing back and forth, wishing that there was a knife within arm's reach. But then she thought of her grandmother. Gran... she's the only family that Hannah had left. If she cut herself to death, she'd never forgive herself. Though Gran may be annoying at times, she does love her. Perhaps she should start making that known to her more often. The sudden realization had taken over her whole body, so Hannah slumped to the floor, feeling helpless. What is my life? I hate this, Hannah thought to herself. She then decided to sit down in the bathtub, hugging her knees to her chest and started to sob uncontrollably.
Gavin couldn't get his mind to stop racing. He knew that Hannah has depression, but he didn't know that it was this bad. Before he met her, he was just another scrawny kid who was constantly picked on for being a nerd. Now here he is, standing outside a bathroom door, hearing his girlfriend cry out in anguish. He couldn't stand to just sit here knowing his girlfriend was feeling tortured and helpless. He loved her, and all he wanted to do was help her. More than anything, he just wanted to take away all this pain she's going through.
Somehow Hannah was able to pick herself up, head towards the sink, and turn on the faucet to wash her face. She spent a full five minutes scrubbing away all the evidence that is her depression. She then looked at herself in the mirror, feeling in the least bit satisfied. She then decided to pull out a brush from the right hand drawer and combed out her ratted hair. After standing there looking at herself in the mirror for five slow minutes, she headed towards the door. She took a couple deep breaths and tried to calm herself down before turning the doorknob. You'll be okay, Hannah, she thought to herself. You just got over the worst of it. You love Gavin, and he loves you. Stop being so afraid.
Still waiting outside, Gavin started to grow impatient. But before his hand reached the for the knob, it twisted open and Hannah stood there in front of him. She then just flung herself in his direction and held onto him, hugging tightly. Suddenly Gavin went from feeling tense to feeling relaxed. He returned her hug and whispered in her ear, "I love you so much."
She whispered back, "I love you too. I'm sorry."
"No need to be sorry," he said, cutting her off. "I just want to help you out."
"Don't you take any medication to help control your depression?" Gavin asked. He and Hannah were now sitting outside on a park bench. The sun was starting to set, and knowing that she probably needed to get out the house, they decided to take a walk after dinner.
"No," she said without hesitation. "I hate to think how much worse off I'd be if I was on anti-depressants. You should be happy I was able to save myself before things got any worse."
"I guess I'll give you that then. You did scare me, though," Gavin said, feeling nervous. "Can I ask what else caused that outburst? Are you sure there's nothing else on your mind besides that argument you had with Emily a couple weeks ago?"
Hannah tensed up as soon as he asked that. "Do you really want know?" she said, suddenly feeling nervous
"Yes," he said without hesitation. "You know I'm always here for you."
I guess I better tell him now then, Hannah thought to herself. I can't keep this hidden any longer.
Before she went on to speak, Hannah took several deep breaths. She then looked up at the sky. The sunset was so beautiful at this time of night. Once she gathered up her courage, she said, "My parents died several years ago. Side note, Emily doesn't know the full story. I just couldn't get myself to be fully honest when we had that sleepover two years ago. But anyways, Gran told me that they died in a car crash just minutes after getting out of the movie theater. The driver was drunk and it was very dark outside. That's all I know. For some reason I have trouble forgiving myself for their death. I wish I could have done something to help prevent that from happening. I was only seven, you know. I don't have very many memories of them."
Gavin stood there with an empathetic look on his face. He immediately put his arms around Hannah and said, "I'm sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what that must feel like, losing a loved one. You know what, though? You have me, Emily, and your grandmother. You should be grateful to have a few people in your life who care about you. It's like my mom always says, never take the ones you love for granted."
Hannah didn't know how to respond to that comment. All she knew was that she felt so attracted to Gavin in this moment, so she took his face in her hands and passionately kissed him on the lips. His body instantly eased up and he reciprocated the passion that he could feel in her kiss. He was so drawn to her, and he could sense that Hannah felt the same way with the way she kept kissing him. Their lips stayed engaged for several minutes and they didn't care to acknowledge that there was a full moon hanging in the sky.
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