I Am My Own Person (Personal Life Update)

The more I think about what kind of Athiest I want to be, the more I realize that I'm not sure what kind of force is out there in this world. All I know is that I'm not going to go back into being a Christian; being in that mindset kind of messed up my views on reality. Not only that, but it also made me question my own sanity and how I was treating my friends. So having said all of that, I believe that the only time a person is considered toxic is if they can't control their own attitude and judgments. It's one thing to be hypocritical with the things you say, but it's another thing to be hypocritical in your words and actions. There have been moments in my past where I would make a promise with good intention only to break it several moments later. There have also been moments where I would say that there aren't any strings attached to my motives, but I knew I was lying. All the mistakes I made in that point of time is something I can never take back, but I know now that I can learn from those moments of wreckage and try to be better.

Now that I am an Atheist, I feel like I'm able to better control myself for the most part. I feel like being a Christian just held me back from being completely genuine in my words and actions. People can say what they want about God being the only way to having eternal happiness in life, but I'm not going to agree with that statement anymore. To me, happiness comes from forming close relationships with not just your family, but also your friends. It comes from knowing who you can count on the most to be there for you when life gets tough. More importantly though, it comes from making decisions that best benefit the kind of life that you want to live.  

As much as I'd wish that judgment didn't exist in society, I can't say that we'd be better off without it all together. We're all capable of being judgmental at times depending on where our head is at, and it doesn't matter if you're a Christian, Mormon, Jewish, Athiest, Buddhist or of any other man-made religion. It's basic common sense to just be respectful of other people's differences even if you don't like or agree with them. But even to that extent, I know that we're all human and sometimes we'll make mistakes. 

I'd like to think that I have a good head on my shoulders because my parents were able to teach me right from wrong. I may have not been given the choice of being a Christian or not, but that hasn't changed the kind of person I am today. My pride comes from being the best version of myself that I can be and I'm not going to feel any remorse for that. And as cliche as it sounds, you really only get to have one life for as long as you're alive, so why not live it in a way that makes you happy? My own personal happiness is what matters most to me and I'm not going to feel guilty for that.