CHAPTER 8: LAST DITCH EFFORTS
Once Alex had settled down in her new apartment in Vegas, she realized that she had left something in the hotel room that she and Levi had shared over the summer. Usually, she’s not someone who could be considered careless or forgetful, but of all nights, she realized that it would be a loss if she didn’t have her lucky bracelet with her on this specific night in her new apartment. She tried skimming through her photogenic memory, seeing if she could recover where she left it. It then dawned on her that it must be in one of the dresser drawers. She hurried out of the complex and into her car, and just as she had pulled up into the parking lot of the hotel, she recognized Levi’s car in the next spot over. She studied it with a puzzled look on her face for a moment, then got out of the car to resume her position. She talked to the concierge at the front desk, and then after explaining the situation, the man left the desk for a moment. Once he came back into view, he had a box in his arms full of stuff that other visitors had left behind. “It’s protocol for the maids to report any items that are left behind and return them to this box. Good luck.” Alex rummaged through the box and came up empty. She had a feeling that it was exactly where she said it was, even if the concierge kept trying to insist otherwise. She then had an idea come to her mind. “You know what? I just realized that I need to use the bathroom. Which way would that be?” The man pointed her in the appropriate direction, and just as he walked away from his position and into the room behind him, she went into stealth mode and quickly tried to retrieve the key to the appropriate room she needed access to. Thankfully, nobody noticed her sneaking away, and once she made it to the elevator, she let out a sigh of relief. I can’t believe that worked!, she thought to herself.
Once Alex opened the door to the hotel room that she and Levi once occupied, she realized that it was completely empty and clean. She opened all of the doors, cabinets and drawers in a desperate frenzy. After realizing that her luck had run out and couldn’t find the bracelet, she slowly made her way towards the door of the room. She ran into Levi on her way out of the hotel, but didn’t say a word to him. Instead, she just glared at him. Levi instinctively thought to himself, I wonder what Alex was doing here…
Alex could feel her heart pounding from inside her chest. She was starting to get angry, and she knew that the reason for that is because the minute she and Levi crossed paths. It was in that moment when all of the memories of what happened over the summer came flooding back to her. I can’t believe you lied to me, she said to herself. She continued to mutter to herself as she drove away from the hotel and into the night. With no one else on the road and her anger simmering to the surface, she started to unintentionally pick up the pace as she continued to drive. Soon enough, she was going over the speed limit and she felt like she was just aimlessly driving, and her only goal was to be anywhere but here. It wasn’t until she heard a police siren creeping up from behind that she started to come back to reality. She quickly steered herself away from the road and pulled over. A man who was a bit burly in his stature turned on a flashlight and tapped on the glass window of her car. “I need your name and some form of identification,” he said flatly. Alex grabbed her backpack and rummaged through it until she found her wallet. She gave him her ID. “Are you aware that you were driving over the speed limit, Miss Barnett? The minimum is forty-five, and you were clocking eighty.”
“I apologize for that, sir.”
“Don’t let it happen again. Otherwise, you’ll end up spending the night in jail.”
“I understand.” Once the officer got back in his car, Alex let out a small sigh. She still wasn’t ready to admit that perhaps the problem had less to do with Levi, and more to do with herself for falling for his premeditated proposal. She knew that she could be sentimental sometimes, but is that all she was feeling, or was there more to it? She didn’t want to overthink the situation, but with it being close to 3-o’clock in the morning, she knew she wouldn’t be able to help herself. Her feelings for Levi seemed to stem from more than just shared childhood history. It’s almost as if proposing to her ignited intense, and perhaps naive feelings of romance and desire back then, and thinking about it now made her realize that perhaps she does love him. But he lied to me, she thought to herself. Knowing that she didn’t want to get a speeding ticket or worse, she left her car on the side of the road and walked away from it. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself, but she knew that she didn’t want to sleep. She didn’t want to face the reality of her feelings, so instead, she started walking around in circles. At one point in the night, she screamed loudly because of how confused and frustrated she felt. Once exhaustion finally hit her, she trudged back into the back seat of her car and fell asleep.
RACHEL: NEW BEGINNINGS
Since that encounter she had with Alex, Rachel was starting to realize that no amount of petty games is going to make her win back her peace of mind. At the same time however, she knew that allowing herself to feel vulnerable would only make moving on feel more difficult. All it took was one look for Alex to realize the truth, and her kindness is something that Rachel would always keep close to her heart. The more she willed herself to think about Alex instead of dwelling on thoughts of Chris and her own brokenness, the more she wanted to be around her again and tell her the whole story. Her feelings of restlessness and exhaustion eventually led her to call up Alex. The two of them had exchanged phone numbers the last time they met up, and once she hit the call button on her cell phone, Alex answered on the second ring. “Hey! How are you doing?”
“I’m doing alright. I was wondering if you’d like to hang out again some time. I really enjoyed catching up with you a while back.”
“I’m glad to hear that! What day did you have in mind?”
“How about this coming Saturday? I usually don't have much planned on the weekends.”
“That’s perfect! I’ll see you then.” After hanging up, Rachel found herself smiling and feeling like her old self for the first time in a while. She decided to take advantage of the good mood she was in and go out to dinner by herself.
On her way out towards the restaurant, she drove past Chris and Matthew’s firm as well as the cafeteria that stood right next to the building. She tried to take in the view in small bits while driving, and the further out she went, the more free she started to feel. It’s almost as if this night was needed, and as soon as she found the restaurant, she pulled up into the parking lot, put the car in park and walked at a brisk pace to avoid stalling for time. Everything went according to plan, but the one thing she didn’t expect to see out of the corner of her eye was Matthew sitting by himself at a booth. She sighed under her breath, and just as she was seated at a table that was only within a foot’s distance from the booth he was at, a young woman showed up seemingly out of nowhere and took a seat opposite of him. So he’s on a date?, she wondered to herself. This piqued her interest, but she didn’t want to make things awkward for him. The woman had long, blonde hair with platinum undertones, and she could tell that her skin tone didn’t look real or natural, like she had stuck herself in an easy-bake oven. Suddenly she found herself getting lost in thought, but after a few minutes passed, a waiter walked up to her table. “Miss, can I get you something to drink?”
“I’ll have water with lemon.”
“Coming right up! I’ll be back to take your order soon.” The young man swiftly left the table and Rachel started to peer over towards Matthew’s table again. She couldn’t shake off the image of him being on a date with somebody else. Of course, none of this made her feel jealous or nervous because the two of them were only friends. They’ve been close since college, but the more she allowed herself to think about the situation, she had to wonder if Matthew wanted something more with her. Rachel forced away her gaze, and just in time for the waiter to show again to take her order. Once she told him what she wanted, he took the menu and sat her drink down on the table. He also placed a small bowl of extra lemons next to her glass just in case. For a moment in time, Rachel was able to enjoy herself until she saw Matthew’s date leaving the table. She thought about seizing the moment and coming over just to say hi, but what happened instead is she noticed Matthew looking in her direction. He gave her a playful smirk that basically said all she needed to know. This prompted her to stand up, but before she could make her way over towards his table, his date came back. She thought about sitting back down, but then he motioned for her to come over. A few minutes passed and a different waiter had shown up at her table to hand her a plate full of food. Once he left, she took it with her along with her bundled up cutlery set and glass of water, making her way over towards Matthew’s table. “It’s very nice to see you here, Rachel,” he said in a sing-song tone. I want you to meet my sister, Rebecca. She decided to come over and visit me by surprise.” Hearing him say those words made Rachel feel embarrassed because of what she assumed earlier, but she tried to not let it show. “It’s very nice to meet you, Rebecca.” She extended out a hand to shake hers as a formal greeting then took one of her forks. After enjoying a few savory bites of her dinner, she looked up to see Matthew staring at her. “Can I help you?” she asked after swallowing. Rebecca was looking down at her own plate and seemed to be enjoying her own dinner as well. He started to get nervous and wasn’t sure of what to say, and she noticed him tensing up. Once Rebecca cleaned up her mouth with a napkin, she started to talk. “You really don’t know much about Matthew, do you?”
“What do you mean? We’ve been friends since college.”
“Well, I already know that, but ever since we entered this restaurant, he hasn’t been able to stop talking about you.” This made Rachel feel slightly embarrassed. She wasn’t sure what prompted Rebecca to talk about this, and when she and Matthew looked at each other, they were quick to dart their eyes in opposite directions. “I think this whole evening so far has been very interesting,” Rebecca said. “Just look at you two! The way y'all act shy around each other is really adorable.” She chuckled at her own comment, but both Rachel and Matthew felt tense and confused. Matthew could feel this heat in his chest rising up, and he started to dig more into his plate of food to help lower his nerves. Rachel did the same, and she didn’t bother to act all prim and proper like usual when eating. She kept her back slightly hunched over, and every time she noticed herself feeling nervous or tense, the bigger bites she would end up taking until her plate was completely empty. Matthew had finished his meal just a couple minutes before she did, and Rebecca just watched the two of them continue to not say anything to each other. She knew she had hit a nerve, but she didn’t think that the romantic tension between her brother and Rachel was this high. She then decided to stand up. “I’m really glad I got a chance to catch up with you, Matthew, and it was good to meet you, Rachel!” Just as she made her way towards the front door of the restaurant, a man rudely brushed past her. Rebecca was too slow to react, but both Rachel and Matthew noticed his stature immediately. It was Chris. Both of them stood up at the same time and had scowls on their faces. “What the hell are you doing here?” Matthew asked. Rachel had her arms crossed together against her chest. “I was just thinking the same thing,” she told Matthew.
CHRIS: THE APOLOGY
“Look, I know I shouldn’t be barging in here during your little reunion with your sister, but I’ve tried to keep my distance for as long as I can. I just can’t take it anymore!”
“What are you talking about?” Matthew said, trying to keep his tone soft but still firm.
“I’m talking about the way you’ve been acting around me. Things have become more distant between us. I don’t understand why. And what are you doing here?” It took a minute for Rachel to realize that his question was directed towards her, and she struggled to get any words out.
“That doesn’t matter,” Matthew replied sharply.
“I just don’t want to feel like I’m losing here. I feel like I’m losing my mind!”
“Well, that’s a first.” Rachel gave out a small laugh at Matthew’s comment.
“This isn’t funny! I want my best friend back. I don’t like being left out to dry like I’m on some island. It just feels like the two of you are mad at me, and I want to apologize. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry isn’t good enough,” Rachel started to say. Matthew felt the need to put his arm around Rachel; she didn’t fight against it. “If you want to give me a proper apology, then you’d better try harder. Make it sound sincere, or better yet, just leave me alone. Being around you makes me feel things that I’m tired of feeling. You are exhausting to be around, Chris!” Hearing her say that made him feel all sorts of guilt, remorse, anger and confusion all over again. He couldn’t make sense of anything in his world, but if there’s one thing he’s noticed every time Matthew and Rachel were together, it’s that they could very well start a new life, and one that doesn’t involve him, and knowing that is what was driving him mad the most. “You need to go home,” Matthew said. His voice had a small tremble to it, but with Rachel by his side, he knew exactly what he wanted right then and there. “I mean it, Chris! Go back home. Be with your mother. You’re not wanted here anymore, and I’m not going to tolerate the way you’ve been treating Rachel. I love her.” Just as those last three words left his lips, the reactions that followed were similar for a minute, but then Chris turned his face up into a snarl of anger and disgust. There was no hesitation in his steps as he stormed out of the restaurant. Once he left the scene, Matthew and Rachel both felt shivers crawling up their spine and arms, but after the moment passed, they turned towards each other and kissed each other.
CHAPTER 9: SWEET SURPRISES & DARK SECRETS
Once Saturday came around, Alex and Rachel decided to go out and spend the day together. The two women started out by going out to a local cafe outside of the city, and then headed out to the mall afterwards. During their time together, Rachel shared everything that happened with Chris and Matthew, and Alex’s reactions were nothing short of comforting and supportive. “I really hate that you had to deal with Chris’ drama, but I’m really glad that you and Matthew have finally decided to get together. I just don’t understand men who decide to play games or make up lies. It’s not right.”
“I completely agree with you on that!” Rachel nodded in perfect timing to the things Alex was ranting on about, and from what she was able to understand, it sounded as if Alex had some troubles of her own. She didn’t need to hear all of the details, but instead of interjecting with any rude remarks, she just continued to nod her head and allowed Alex to carry on until she was done. “You know what? I just remembered that I need to make a phone call. Do you mind if I step out for a minute, Alex?”
“Oh, sure.” Once both women parted through the exit, they went their separate ways. Rachel ended up dialing Matthew’s cell phone and he answered on the first ring. “Hey, how are things going with your new girlfriend?” Rachel took in a slow breath before answering. “I’m not sure if she’s going to stay my friend in all honesty. She talks a lot, which I don’t have a problem with. If anything, I feel as if her problems with this one guy she used to be engaged to are only going to continue dragging her down. I don’t need that kind of second-hand drama in my life.”
“I understand that completely. Should I pick you up then?”
“I drove myself here, so I don’t mind driving myself back.”
“If you swing by my apartment before heading back to yours, then I have a surprise for you.” Matthew always knew how to gauge Rachel’s interest, but because he wouldn’t give her any hints, she had no choice but to accept his request. After one last attempt of trying to flirt with her over the phone, Rachel hung up and drove down to Matthew’s apartment. She wasn’t sure what to expect, and the excitement she was feeling made her feel giddy on the inside. However, once the door to his apartment opened, all of those feelings went away because she remembered that this apartment was once shared with someone she didn’t care to be around anymore. She tried to push away her feelings of discomfort, and thankfully, Matthew’s presence helped her with that as well. “So I have news for you, and I want you to sit down,” he said in a cryptic tone. Suddenly, Rachel started to feel both excited and nervous. “Tell me!” she exclaimed.
“So in addition to finally finding a suitable house for the two of us to live in because I really hate this apartment complex, I’ve also decided to take up the firm just for myself to own. With Chris finally living with his mother again and being out of our lives, I just want to have a fresh start, you know? It was my idea anyway to start up the firm. But the bigger news that I have is something that involves less talking on my part.” He turned his back, and Rachel was starting to feel nervous. She had no idea where this was headed, and so to help ease her nerves, she placed her hand on her stomach. For some reason, doing that made her feel nauseous and lightheaded, but she didn’t think anything of it for a moment. It wasn’t until Matthew turned to face Rachel again that she started to realize what was happening. “Am I pregnant?”
“Yes. But that’s not all!” Matthew placed a small, blue box next to her leg as well as an envelope. His eyes gave away exactly how he was feeling, but he wanted her to open up both of the gifts before he said anything. She started with the blue box first. Inside was a ring and she immediately placed it on her ring finger. “It’s beautiful. Thank you,” she said with a tender smile.
“Now you can open the envelope,” Matthew replied. It was a note, which read:
I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, Rachel. In addition to us finally being engaged and expecting our first child, I want to also give you the opportunity to move with me to Tokyo. I’ve finally saved up enough money for me to hire a team for the firm, which allows me to do more of my work remotely now. The house I’ve been looking at in Japan is perfect for our new life together. Ultimately, I really just want to start fresh and enjoy being in a new city. I hope you’ll say yes to this offer.
Rachel was stunned speechless for a moment after reading the note, but after taking it all in, she reached for Matthew’s hands and told him yes. The two of them shared a long hug together, which eventually led to them wanting to head back into Matthew’s bedroom together. However, both of them knew that the memories of this one apartment space would hold them back from wanting to get too close. “Would you rather just go to my apartment?” Rachel asked. “There’s more space and less baggage tied to it.”
“Gladly. But before we leave, there’s one more thing I want to do here. I’ll meet you outside in a bit.” Matthew had already sold most of the stuff he brought with him to this current complex that he had to share with Chris. However, there was one thing that he couldn’t bring himself to part with. Matthew opened the nightstand drawer in his bedroom to retrieve a letter. The letter held a secret that both he and Chris have kept to themselves since childhood.
CHRIS & MATTHEW: MEMORIES UNLOCKED
When Chris arrived home, his first instinct was to just crash into bed and not talk to his mother. He felt defeated. He felt like he had lost the one person in life he thought he could trust. Why did you have to shut me out like that?, he thought to himself. He and Matthew had been through a lot together, and now his best friend wants nothing to do with him. Thinking about the situation made him feel empty on the inside. Just as he was about to walk out the back door of his mother’s house, he remembered something. The memory came to him, but instead of taking comfort in it, he started to scream in fits of rage and sorrow.
For a while before making the decision to head off to college with Matthew, Chris had to take up more responsibility and help out his mother as she struggled to provide for him and for herself. She eventually had to give up all the work she had put in with her two jobs because her health was failing. The doctors said it was cancer, and while some of what she was experiencing could be delayed with different medicines, they both knew that she wasn’t fit to keep working and would eventually need to be taken into intensive care if things were to get worse. With Chris’ father out of the picture and no other siblings, Chris was desperate in his efforts to graduate from law school and start up his own firm so that he could not only make a name for himself, but to also save up enough money to help with whatever surgeries were needed for his mother. At the time, Matthew knew this and came up with the idea of them working together as a team. Chris remembered telling Matthew the situation with his mother the day before leaving for college. All he said was that the two of them would find a way to figure this out together. No other details came up to the surface, and he remembered trying to negotiate with Matthew. He tried every underhanded tactic in the book, and every time, Matthew just told him the same thing every time. The more Chris pushed the subject, the more his best friend would grow annoyed and impatient with him. It’s almost as if Matthew just didn’t care, and just as Chris was about to give up, he remembered a secret that Matthew shared with him when they were kids. He swore that he would never resort to blackmail, but in knowing what his best friend told him, he realized that if he can’t have his way, then perhaps he can level with Matthew this way.
TWO DECADES AGO (in Rural New Jersey)
“I know this may sound very childish, but I don’t want to get married. The thought of it scares me and girls are gross,” said young Matthew. At the time of him saying this back in kindergarten, Chris knew that he and Matthew would remain best friends. “And don’t tell anybody this either, but if both of us promise to stay single, then I won’t tell anybody about you being the class weirdo. That big kid who likes to intimidate you doesn’t know what he’s talking about anyway.”
“Thanks. You’re pretty cool as well.” The two boys smiled at each other for a moment then continued playing in the sandbox. They didn’t say anything else, but they didn’t need to.
PRESENT DAY
The innocence of childhood always left a fond memory for Matthew, but in knowing what he knows now about Chris, he kind of had to wonder what drove him to say those things. It wasn’t so much that he was trying to appear cool to him, but was that actually the case? Somewhere deep inside his subconscious mind, he felt this unexplained fear. Would Chris actually use this childish secret of mine against me?, he thought to himself. We were in kindergarten. People change; he needs to accept that. Matthew was starting to get lost in thought, and then he pulled out his phone unconsciously. He started to look up Chris’ number and pressed his cell phone against his ear. He answered on the third ring. “I want you to listen to me loud and clear here. What was said during our time in kindergarten stays in kindergarten. If you do so much as to bring up what I said to anybody, I will come back to haunt you. No joke. Do you understand me, Chris?”
“Oh, I understand you just fine, but your secret is still safe with me. And I hope you realize that I’m not afraid of you. You’re a fraud. You turned your back on me. I just hope you know deep down that what you want going forward is something you won’t be able to keep up with, and once everything you’ve worked for comes crashing down, I’ll be the one to have the last laugh.” Matthew started to shiver a bit at Chris’ words, and in that moment, his lips started to curl up into a snarl. He furrowed his brows. “You know what? Good luck with your pathetic life. I can’t believe I ever stuck out my neck for you. Goodbye.” He immediately hung up the call after making his last statement. Under his breath, Chris snidely said, I could say the same with you, buddy. The emotions he was facing were still raw, and to the point of feeling as if he’s lost more than a best friend. This was enough to convince him that he and Matthew were now traitors to each other.
After the call had ended, Chris walked back into his mother’s house. She slowly appeared to him and took a good look at him. She then realized that he needed her now more than ever. However, her frail disposition brought a small tear to Chris’ face. The minute she invited him into her arms, he held her for a moment and then decided to haul her into his truck and drove over to the hospital. He knew that she wouldn’t be able to live much longer. Once he arrived, he asked for an ER specialist and decided that it was time. She was first placed under anesthesia so that she wouldn’t feel anything. Once he saw the flat lines on the EKG monitor, she was sent off to the morgue in a gurney with her body completely covered. Watching the whole process made Chris realize all he has left now is himself, but the anger and resentment that he’s kept inside of him no longer seemed to matter. Once he came back to his mother’s small, but comfortable home, he crashed down onto the couch, curled up into a ball and sobbed until he fell asleep.
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