A few days have passed since her meetup with Matthew, and because of how good it felt to catch up with him, Rachel decided to give herself some time to rest instead of going to work. Her work schedule is usually pretty flexible because it’s a hybrid mix of work from home or in an office, and because she had spent more than enough hours on the pile of articles she needed to write up in previous weeks, she knew she wouldn’t have any new assignments to finish for the rest of the month. Her first thought as she took her time walking down the sidewalk was to treat herself to a late morning snack, so she decided to head down to the cafeteria that was adjacent to Matt and Chris’ firm. The minute she walked in, she ordered herself a bear claw, some fruit and a bottle of water. She then found an open seat close to the booth section, and without realizing it until she looked up, Matthew and Chris were standing just a few feet away from her. Her first gut reaction was to dart from the scene and package up her food to eat later, but what happened instead is that she felt this intense desire to walk up to Matthew. Seeing him brought up all sorts of thoughts and feelings that made her feel giddy, excited and also a slight tinge of what seemed to be twisted anger because she knew that Chris was standing right next to him.
She didn’t plan any of this, but the minute Rachel walked up to the two men, she found herself wrapping her own arm around Matthew’s. His expression was that of mild shock, but he didn’t recoil or take his arm away. “Hey babe! How are you doing?” she said in a sing-song voice. Again, Matthew wasn’t sure what to make of this, but he didn’t want to fight against whatever it is Rachel had up her sleeve. He smiled at her and said, “I’m doing great! Would you like to join us for lunch?” Chris cocked up one of his eyebrows, feeling confused by what was going on between his best friend and Rachel. The three of them sat down at one of the open booths, and Rachel quickly picked up her tray of food from the other table and joined them within a matter of seconds.
“So, what made you decide to eat here for lunch?” Chris asked slowly, and with slight apprehension. As he was waiting for a response, he took a moment to twist open his bottle of water. He took a sip, looked up to see Matthew and Rachel pretending to flirt, and then it dawned on him that Rachel was trying to make him jealous. Either that, or perhaps she has finally lost her mind and thought that acting this way with his best friend could teach him a lesson. He wasn’t sure which motivation she was going for, but just as he was starting to get lost in thought, he was cut off. “I just happened to be in the area and thought it’d be nice to enjoy some extra time off. That, plus I really enjoyed talking to you earlier this morning, Matthew.” She gave him an expression that let him know that she was being truthful, but her attempts at flirting with him was starting to make Matthew feel a little off guard. Again, he didn’t want to be rude and tell her to stop, so he just took it in and smiled at her graciously. Once she got up from her seat to excuse herself, the two men looked at each other with the same dumbfounded expression. The confrontation they had about a week ago still left the two men feeling somewhat distant with each other, even though they had made up. Matthew’s feelings for Rachel had left a pretty big weight on Chris’ shoulders because he wasn’t sure if it would be in his best interest to trust his best friend again, even though he sometimes felt foolish for admitting that considering the amount of trust Matthew still had in him. Personality differences are one thing, but ever since Rachel came into the picture, the two of them have been talking less, and the thought of losing his best friend to a woman is something he didn’t want to face because it would mean acknowledging that Matthew had failed to uphold the promise they once made when they were teenagers. Even more so for Chris, this would mean that there would be more uncertainty in his life, and that feeling is something that he knew he wasn’t ready to face.
LEVI & CHRIS: TWISTED UP
Ever since that messy encounter of trying to come out to Alex and introducing her to Michael, Levi has spiraled back into depression, loneliness and a little bit of sadness for what he thought was a good thing. He knew that it was unlikely for Alex to forgive him for lying to her, and thinking about that instantly made him spiral back into feelings of guilt followed by confusion and anger for realizing that his actions came from a place of selfishness. I should have just stayed at home, he thought to himself. As soon as he willed himself to say that, a feeling of self-righteousness surged through his chest. He didn’t want to shame himself or put himself down for coming out after hiding it for so many years. He didn’t want to just sit here in this empty hotel room, drowning himself in feelings of self-pity and misery simply because of how Alex reacted to the whole situation. He wanted to talk to MIchael again. He wanted to be around him, but then a memory from that night at the bar started to resurface. Thinking about the memory gave him an idea, but then he realized that the drunken man sitting at the very table he and Alex sat at is someone he knew nothing about, which intrigued him. He couldn’t remember much else from that night, but for some reason, the man who was slumped on the seat remained a prominent memory. Levi whipped out his phone and tried to look up any information he could find, and sure enough after some scrolling around, he came across a picture of two men smiling, and the name of a law firm showed up in bold text under their faces. He had to admit that the face he recognized out of the two was kind of handsome, but Michael was handsome as well. Sexy even because of the way he carried himself with such ease. There was a different kind of vibe that Levi could pick up from the picture, and before his brain could catch up to the emotions he was experiencing, he dialed the number of the law firm.
Chris and Matthew had made it back up to their shared office and were taking a short break in between clients. Just as Matthew had sat down on one of the leather swivel chairs, the phone rang. He picked up on the first ring. “This is the Ferrell and Chase firm. My name is Matthew Chase. How can I be of assistance?”
“Hi, I’m not here to settle any legal matters. I just wanted to talk to your business partner. The situation is classified and personal.” Matthew made a face and handed the phone to Chris. “It’s for you,” he mouthed while keeping his hand on the receiver. Once Chris took the phone, Matthew buried his face in his computer. “This is Chris Ferrell. What can I do for you today?”
“I would actually like to ask you that very question. I won’t be in the area for much longer and was wondering if you could give me some recommendations for Asian restaurants. I have a proposition for you, so once I can get those recommendations, I’d love to partner up with you and talk over lunch. It’s nothing too serious. So what do you say? Is it a date?” For a moment, Chris found himself in a state of genuine shock. He couldn’t tell if this man who refused to give his name was wanting to talk business, or if he was trying to come onto him. It wouldn’t be the first time this sort of thing has happened since being in his 20’s, but that was an isolated incident and of which involved a very big misunderstanding. He hung up once the guy was done talking. “What was that about?” Matthew asked. Chris paused for a moment before answering. “I think I was just asked out on a date with another man…,” he said slowly. Matthew resisted the urge to laugh, which made Chris sneer in his direction, and then he turned his back on his friend. He then turned back around to face Matthew and said, “Laugh if you must, but you’d be surprised to know that while you were off gallivanting around with Rachel at the time, I actually attended one party that was meant for gay people. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I only stayed for a total of five minutes as I was trying to find the entrance to a different party.” Matthew perked up his eyebrows and hunched over his desk with his face in his hands. “Please, tell me more!” he exclaimed in what seemed to be genuine intrigue. Chris felt a flush of sudden embarrassment surging right through him. He gave a small smirk, thinking it wouldn’t hurt to share more of this one story, even though he was starting to feel red in the face. “I was invited to a party during the middle of freshman year. Initially when I realized I had stepped foot in the wrong door, I wanted to leave immediately. Before I could do so however, some guy had willed me away from the doorway and the two of us shared a playful kiss. It really didn’t feel like much of anything. I think the guy who found me was enjoying the moment more than I was.” Chris had to catch his breath because the moment he looked in Matthew’s direction, he could see him pursing his lips to avoid exploding with laughter. “Wow! What a story. How come you never told me this?”
“Because it was the most embarrassing thing I’ve experienced in my whole life! I’m so glad no one at the freshman party noticed how embarrassed I felt when I finally showed up, or if they did, perhaps they knew better than to ask.” Just thinking about it made Chris want to retreat from the office and hide in a dark corner. Matthew couldn’t stop laughing his head off, which only made Chris feel annoyed and agitated. “Look man, I’m sorry for laughing, but this is just something that I never knew about you! We were roommates throughout all four years of college! Parties are bound to get wild.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t think that I’d be put in a position of mistaking one party for another one! And now that you know, you’re probably never going to let me hear the end of it. I should’ve kept my mouth shut.” Chris planted his face into his hand, lamenting still in his own mistake. Once Matthew had stopped laughing, he made his way back to his seat.
Levi’s attempt at reaching the firm was successful, but he wasn’t sure if the guy would actually follow through with his request. He had to admit that perhaps this guy was out of his league, but now that he was allowing himself to be who he truly is, he felt as if he had done something right to celebrate the moment. He wanted to go on more dates and forget about Alex. He wanted to move on with his life, and he certainly didn’t want to go back home where he would end up feeling suffocated again. Just the thought of going back made his stomach churn in great discomfort. I should probably cancel my flight, Levi thought to himself. Just as he was starting to feel more confident in himself, he remembered that he was still wearing the engagement ring he bought when he prematurely asked Alex to marry him. With the engagement being called off and knowing that Alex was flying back to his hometown today, he realized right then and there that he wanted to stay in Las Vegas. Coming back home just didn’t feel like an option anymore. He wanted to start fresh and not let anything else weigh him down. It was at this moment that he called the jeweler about returning the ring, and he also decided that tonight would be his night. The only question left in his mind was to either follow through with this new date he set himself up for, or to return Michael’s several missed calls as well as listening to the voicemail he left behind. He decided to listen to the voicemail first.
Hey, it’s me, Michael. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I haven’t heard from you in a while… Did you and your fiance get things sorted out? I kind of feel bad for how things went when you tried to introduce me to her. Call me back!
Levi contemplated Michael’s words for a bit. He then decided to call up the firm again, but the call went straight to the answering machine. Prior to coming out to Alex, he realized that perhaps he was moving too fast and had no idea what he was doing. At the same however, part of him was done caring about Alex. He still didn’t understand why the sudden urge to marry her came into his mind when they were talking together at the airport. Am I losing my mind here?, he asked himself. He couldn’t make sense of his thoughts and feelings, and then he checked his phone, wondering if he should call Michael back. Just as he was about to look up Michael’s number in his contact list, an unknown number showed up on his phone. He answered it on the second ring. “Hello?”
“Hi, this is Chris from the law firm. I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing here, but I’m not interested. I’m not even into guys like you. Please don’t contact me again. If you do, I won’t hesitate to call the police on you.” The man hung up without giving Levi a chance to speak, which pretty much let him know that the date wasn’t going to happen. He then let out a sigh and contacted Michael. The call went straight to voicemail, but because he couldn’t think of what to say, he ended the call right away after the beep sounded. With Chris’ rejection sitting in the pit of his stomach and no other options left on how to fill his time, Levi decided to head to bed. Am I really this much of a noob when it comes to dating, or is it something else?, he thought to himself while staring up at the bedroom ceiling. He had to admit that since spontaneously planning this trip to Vegas, things haven’t exactly been working out in his favor. He pretty much felt as if he had lost his childhood best friend, and he recognized his own faults in that regard. He just didn’t enjoy that stinging sensation of being rejected while also being freezed out by another potential date. With his patience wearing thin but also recognizing how tired he felt, Levi let out a defeated sigh. He knew deep down that going to bed would be the best option.
CHAPTER 7: A SWIFT ENCOUNTER
Since that encounter during lunch with Chris and Matthew, Rachel was starting to feel less like herself. She found it hard to concentrate at work, and no matter how hard she tried to remain calm and rational in her thoughts, she knew that it wouldn’t last long. The memories of Chris were burned into her brain, and the amount of times she was able to sleep without feeling angry or sad were few and in between.
By complete surprise a few days later, Rachel bumped into a familiar face as she was heading into a local coffee shop. Of course, it was the one that Chris took her to, and the memory of that one date made her grimace under her breath. She and the stranger exchanged apologies for not seeing each other upon entering the place, but once they took a good look at each other, Rachel was the first to say something, “Didn’t we meet earlier in the summer? I feel like I’ve seen you before.”
“Now that I’m thinking about it, I think we did. I was with my ex-fiance. I flew back home early. Isn’t your name Rachel?”
“Yeah, it is.” The two women smiled at each other for a moment. “Your name is Alex, right?”
“Yup, that’s me! You have a good memory.” Rachel started to blush a little in response to the compliment Alex gave. She then noticed that her hair was shorter; it was cut into a pixie style, which suited her. “Would you want to sit with me once we order?”
“Sure thing! I’ll meet you over there by the booth in the corner.”
“Actually, is it okay if we sit outside? It feels a little stuffy in here…”. Once the two women had received their coffee orders, they exited the front door and sat at one of the tables near the entrance. “So… what’s new with you?” Alex asked shyly. Rachel removed the lid from her cup and took a sip before responding. “Nothing worth noting. Work’s been kind of slow lately.”
“Are you still seeing that guy that you were with when we bumped into each other over the summer?” Rachel was taken aback by the blunt nature in which Alex prompted the question. “You mean Chris? It’s kind of a long story.” Rachel was starting to feel a little sheepish and unsure of how to answer her question further. “How much do you really want to know?”
“I’ve got time. The only reason why I came back is because I’m hoping to score an interview for a new job. I took the rest of the summer off to do my own thing, and now that I’ve finished getting my degree, I thought the next logical step would be to find a job. There’s just something about Vegas that I’ve really come to enjoy… but before I ramble on any further, I should probably allow you to talk about this whole Chris situation.” Rachel let out a small grin. She still wasn’t sure of where to start, and truth be told, she also wasn’t sure if she was ready to share those details. Her own emotional state was still in a rocky place. Thinking about it at that moment started to make her feel a mix of sadness and guilt, and also a little bit of anger. “Did I hit a nerve there? I’m sorry if I did. Perhaps I shouldn’t have come on so strong.”
“It’s fine,” Rachel said dryly. The two of them sat in silence for a while until they noticed yet another familiar face enter the coffee shop. It was Chris, and even though he didn’t look in her direction, she surely noticed him and started to feel herself crumble on the inside. Her first instinct was to find another way to toy with his heart like he did hers, but then her emotions started to take full control and she wanted to hide and cry for reasons that still didn’t make sense to her. Alex started to notice the way Rachel was acting, so she stood up, took Rachel by the hand and said, “I can see now that things haven’t been going well since the last time we saw each other. Why don’t we get away from this place and find somewhere else to hang out at? My interview isn’t until 4 pm anyways. Do you need something to eat?” Rachel didn’t say anything, but she nodded her head in a way that signaled yes.
MATTHEW & CHRIS: SPEAK UP
Even though the two men were still able to be around each other on professional terms, both Chris and Matthew still kept distant from each other. In Chris’ mind, there was nothing for him to say or defend. With him knowing how his best friend really felt about Rachel, he decided to just carry on like everything is normal. Matthew, however, was wrestling with a lot of different thoughts and feelings, some of which were of no fault but his own. Admitting to his best friend that he did have feelings for Rachel has suddenly added a wrench into his friendship with Chris, or at least, that’s what he thought. Most days, it seemed as if Chris was just in his own little world and didn’t care about what was going on with him, which would sometimes make him feel insecure. Other times, he would shove away his anxious thoughts and carry on with his job like it’s nothing. On this day in particular however, he was starting to feel uncomfortable. Every little thing was suddenly starting to make him feel extremely annoyed, like the way Chris would take his sweet time walking in and out the door whenever he had to run a quick errand, or how he would look at himself in the mirror every five or ten minutes. By the time the day had ended and the two men were back in their shared apartment, Matthew let out a heavy sigh, but Chris didn’t take any notice of it. Chris also didn’t notice when Matthew tried to pry open a jar of pickles, though he did roll his eyes when he noticed Matthew taking out the pickle jar. He knew that Matthew’s taste in snacks was peculiar, but pickles is something he didn’t know his best friend enjoyed. Instead of saying anything or offering to help, Chris got up from the kitchen table and headed on over to his bedroom. Matthew grunted in annoyance and slammed the jar on the table, which caused the jar to break and make a mess on the floor. He grunted again and started to frantically search for the broom and dust pan, and once he found it, he cleaned up his mess. Chris came out of his room and saw what Matthew was doing, but he didn’t do anything. He just walked up to the living room area and sat down on the couch. The only time he flinched is when he heard Matthew cursing loudly after cutting himself on a piece of glass. It wasn’t until he finally got up that he realized that Matthew had finally lost it. “Okay, I gotta admit that this whole mess here is kind of making you look pathetic,” Chris finally said. Matthew ignored the comment and continued to suck on his knuckle. He was squatting close to the floor with his knees close to his chest, and he kept muttering to himself. Instead of stooping down to his level, Chris decided to offer his hand and firmly said, “Get up off the floor, man. You look like a beggar.” Matthew didn’t take his friend’s hand. He just continued to rock himself, back and forth and sucking on his knuckle. Chris thought about just leaving his best friend in the condition he was in, but instead, he put a hand on Matthew’s shoulder and forcibly pried him away from his crouched position. “You’ve been acting weird ever since we arrived home from work. Is there something I should know about?” He didn’t get a response. Matthew refused to take his hand out of his mouth. Chris let out a defeated sigh. “Can I see that hand of yours? We have band aids.” In that instant, Matthew finally took his hand out of his mouth. The incision from the glass was still tender and sensitive, but the bleeding had finally stopped. “It really hurt, man,” Matthew finally said. Chris groaned softly to himself. “You’re such a baby. You should have just let me clean up this mess, and then you wouldn’t be in this position. And since when have you been a fan of pickles?” Matthew didn’t answer his question, but the minute he heard the word pickles, he covered his face with his good hand. “That was her favorite snack…,” he said softly.
“Why do you know so much about Rachel, Matthew?”
“Why do you care? You’re the one who messed things up. She doesn’t like you, and I’m pretty sure she has no interest in me. I’m always going to be the guy who’s just friends with her.” Chris tried his best to not take offense to Matthew’s comment by focusing on the wound on his hand. He quickly grabbed the first-aid kit from above the refrigerator then sat back down at the table. After finally finding the right tools he needed, he cleaned up the redness around Matthew’s knuckle and put a band-aid on top of the cut. Matthew offered a small smile to express his thanks. Chris smiled back. Even though they said nothing else at this moment, the two of them seemed to have finally understood each other.
Two days later, both Chris and Matthew decided to take a break from work and try to find something to do together. Chris had the idea of going hiking. Matthew groaned at the suggestion and said, “That’s always your default response! I’d rather do something else for once.”
“Like what? I don’t see you coming up with any suggestions.”
“I’m trying!” Matthew was starting to feel annoyed, so he decided to check his phone. He pulled up the Fandango app to see if there were any good movies the two of them could agree on. “You better not be texting Rachel. I want today to just be the two of us hanging out.” Chris rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He always hated it when Matthew would check his phone whenever they were spending time together. It just felt rude, like he didn’t value the time he was spending with him. Just as he was about to yank the phone out of Matthew’s hand, Matthew finally looked up and in his direction. “You do realize that I hear everything you’re saying, even if I’m not looking directly at you, right? By the way, there’s one movie out that I think both of us would enjoy.”
“If it’s another Tom Cruise flick, I’m not interested.”
“Stubborn much? I thought you liked his films.”
“That’s only because you’d always get excited over them, and every time, you’d always get onto me whenever I ‘rain on your parade’, as you would call it.” Chris rolled his eyes. As per usual, it felt as if this one good little gesture of the two of them spending time together would end up with them bickering like an old married couple. He’s never felt certain of why Matthew always felt the need to point fingers at him for not having any other ideas for bonding activities outside of his usual hobbies. Stubborn. Picky. A man of routine… a creature of habit, though, those words always felt more like an insult in his eyes. What’s so wrong with being someone who simply knows what he likes? His train of thought was cut off when Matthew said, “You know what? I give up. You always make these things more difficult than they need to be. Enjoy hiking by yourself.” Before Chris could utter any other words in response, Matthew retreated back towards the apartment complex. Just as he was working up the nerve to go after his best friend, he felt this nagging feeling inside his chest that he couldn’t comprehend. Are we seriously drifting apart that much?, he thought to himself. He wanted to fight off the urge of what was going on inside of him. He didn’t want to accept it, but instead, he decided to walk towards the nearest bench outside the complex and actually explore his thoughts a little further. The more he actually sat with what was going on between him and Matthew, the more he realized that perhaps the two of them just didn’t have that much in common anymore. Am I better off without him?, he asked himself. Or is he better off without me? For a minute, thinking of the situation from Matthew’s perspective angered him a little. After the moment passed however, he decided that perhaps it was time for him to move on. He then decided to go back inside and head up towards their shared apartment for what felt like the last and final time.
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