I never thought that kissing Greg would be that easy, and I could tell he felt nervous before I made that first move. But I'm glad I kissed him, and he seems like a sweet guy. I just hope that in time he'll learn to understand me. I don't want to say or do anything to hurt him, and I certainly don't want to him to push me away either. I really like him.
I can still remember when my parents had separated several years ago. Obviously they're back together now after two agonizing years, but all that time of them not being together was hard on us. I had to step up and help Mom around the house because she fell back into her drinking problem and was diagnosed with depression. She's never been the same since then, but at least now she's able to get herself out of bed. She's even managed to get herself a job as a waitress at Shoney's. My sister was only a senior in high school when Mom and Dad reunited and had already decided on moving out on the day of her graduation. I felt so lost without her the day after that happened. Now of course, I understand that she didn't want our family's problems weighing her down, but she could have at least made time to hang out with me one last time before leaving. I miss being with her and telling her about all the problems I was facing in school.
I remember when Rebecca checked in on me the day I was rejected by a guy named Charlie in middle school. She noticed that I was alone in my room, crying and feeling sorry for myself. I felt so hopeless and heartbroken back then because I was in love with him. Rebecca had sat next to me on my bed and just pulled me in close to her, brushing her fingers through my hair and telling me that it's going to be okay. The two of us have always been there for each other growing up, and as little kids, we loved making each other laugh. Whenever we weren't making goofy faces at each other or making inappropriate noises, we would dare each other to do crazy things. One time, I dared my sister to go the next door neighbor's house and ask to use their bathroom. Now knowing her, I knew she wouldn't disappoint me, but for some reason she took longer than usual. After waiting for an hour, I called Dad from down in the basement because she hadn't returned home yet. That made him really worried, so both he and Mom scoured the entire neighborhood looking for her. Turns out she was hiding in the garage the entire time. We had a lot of fun times together as children.
Out of all the days of the week, I'd have to say Monday is my least favorite, and I'm not just saying that because it means the start of a new week at a new school. I had moved here with my parents about a month ago and while I do like my classes so far, it's been hard fitting in. Seeing Greg get hit with that football really concerned me for some odd reason because I barely knew him, but every day I'd be able to feel his eyes on me during the lunch period. I can only imagine what he must think of me, always reading alone across from the anime club geeks at an empty table. Not that it bothers me, however. I enjoy reading and those kids don't make a lot of noise. And sometimes when I get tired of reading, I'll hover over the table and see which show or movie their watching. It's pretty neat how something as simple as anime can become a club in this high school.
I had just settled into my seat when the bell rang, and I noticed a familiar face come in at the last minute. "Oh, hi Greg! I didn't realize we had French class together. You wanna sit next to me?"
"Sure. How are you doing?"
"Pretty good. Did you have a fun time on Friday night?" I offered a wink in hopes he'd get the reference I was making. He smiled back and said, "Yeah, I enjoyed it. Would you want to do that again?"
"Only if you want to. We can go do something that you like this time."
"Sounds like a deal then." He reached for my hand and I smiled fervently. Part of me wanted to quickly put my hand by my side before he could touch it, but I just let it sit freely on my desk.
Greg and I have been getting along quite well so far. He's a great guy and I really like him, and I can tell he likes me too. I like how he remembers the fun times he's had with his brother growing up. It sounds like the two of them were pretty close. Of course, he said the same thing when I told him about Rebecca and the fun we used to have together. I've noticed that he seems like a very independent guy; I can tell that he's gonna go far in life. He told me about how he wants to be an engineer for NASA, which I thought to be a really awesome goal to have. And of course, I really like how he's considerate towards me. He makes me feel wanted and special in a way that I've never felt so far in my life. Greg is just an amazing person and I like how he makes me feel.
"So what are your plans for Spring break? Are you gonna go somewhere with your brother?"
"No, he's working- plus he's in a serious relationship with someone right now." Hearing Greg say that made me feel bad for him. I wasn't sure of what to say for a moment, but then I had an idea.
"Hey, how about we go over to my place again? Or we could just leave my brothers with the nanny again and eat out somewhere? There's a new Italian restaurant down the street from here."
"It's only 3:30 in the afternoon, Emma. I'm not hungry right now." Greg's tone startled me for a moment, but I shook it off and I put my arms around him. "Well how about we just take your car and do something that you enjoy?"
"I'm not in the mood to do anything right now. I'd like to be alone for the rest of today if that's alright with you."
"Yeah, I guess... Give me a call if you need anything." We both parted ways after that without any kiss or hug goodbye. I'm not sure why Greg was acting like that, but I'm sure there's an explanation, right? I just hope it's not about me. I hope I didn't say or do anything wrong.
The house right now feels eerily silent for a change. My brothers are currently outside with the nanny, and my parents are upstairs working in their office. It's been about two hours since either one of them has come down for something to eat or drink. You'd think that they'd want to spend time with their only available daughter instead of doing business related stuff, but I guess it's whatever. I'm sure they'll come down eventually once dinner is ready.
I'm starting to miss Greg, and I can't stop thinking about him. Is he okay? Is something on his mind? I just want to know what's going on. Just when my train of thought was starting to drift off somewhere else, I heard my phone buzz on the coffee table. It's him. "Hey Greg! Is everything okay?"
"Yes, but I want to ask you something. Do you love me? Do you trust me?"
"Where is this coming from? I don't understand..."
"Just answer the question, Emma. I've spent most of the afternoon in my room after coming home from school, thinking about us. Thinking about you and what you mean to me. I... I love you." Hearing that sent me into shock. No guy has ever said those three words to me before. I wasn't sure of what to say, or if I could say anything at all. I just stood there frozen for a long moment before I heard Greg's voice again. "Hello? Are you still there?"
"Umm... yes. Sorry about that."
"Well?" I let out a deep sigh and thought this over before responding. I can either say I love him, or I could face yet another rejection and end up feeling miserable again. I don't want to feel that again, though. I know that Charlie is ancient history, but it still kind of hurts to think about what happened with him and how I felt.
"I.... I-I love you too, Greg." Silence filled in on the other end this time. I'm not sure what I just did, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to be committed to him. I really like him and he's such a sweet guy, but because of my parents' separation and losing Rebecca, it's been hard for me to trust anyone. Being alone was a choice for me because I've been afraid to let my guard down again and get rejected. It was easy for me to just be alone because then I could really enjoy myself. Now Greg has told me that he loves me.
"Are you sure you love me? I don't want you to say something you don't mean." Greg's still here? I thought he hung up; I couldn't even hear him breathing. Well, I guess I should say something to him. "Oh! Umm, yes, I'm sure." A smile was creeping up on my face as those three words threatened to escape my lips. "I love you, Greg."
I heard him let out a sigh a relief. I guess that means he's happy, right?
"Thank you, Emma, and I love you too. You mean so much to me. I'll talk to you later." The receiver clicked off after that and I suddenly found myself blushing. I'm in love! I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be in love with someone again and have that person love me back. I'm still not sure if I trust him yet, though.
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