This is probably the craziest thing I've done in my life, but I'm done with feeling sad and lonely. I'm done with just letting Rebecca do her own thing and waiting for her to make time for me. It's been a year and a half since she's moved out and settled into Knoxville. Well, I think I have everything I need here. It's time for me to be brave and go see her. I hope Greg is doing alright. I don't mean to keep him worried, but I'm just afraid of him judging me or getting angry. I don't want to hurt him. Maybe I should call him and tell him about this. Maybe he'd understand considering the last conversation we had about me and my issues. But what would I say to him? No! I can't, I just can't. I'm sorry, Greg...
I never knew how hard it would be to drive long-distance by yourself. I don't see how other people do it, commuting from one place to another constantly. I just need to focus on the road. I can't let other thoughts distract me. Maybe I should turn on some music; that would help. It's a good thing my parents have the week off because now they can watch my brothers. It's going to be another three hours before I get to Knoxville. I should probably stop somewhere and get some food.
I'm getting tired now. Why did I decide to do this? I could have just waited until Mom and Dad go to visit her again. They always visit her once every month. Of course, she can make time for that, but she can never seem to make time for me. She can't even spare two minutes over the phone! This is useless. I should just go home and call this off, but I can't. I've come this far already, and Knoxville just another ten miles ahead. Well, it's currently 6:30 right now for this side of the state. Not much longer to go. Her apartment number is 2D and she lives on the third floor. Alright, coming up around the corner now. Seems like I'm just in time to have dinner with her if she's around. I'll go over to the hotel after I see her, so I guess I'll just leave my stuff in the car. Need to take my purse, though. And my phone and keys.
Alright, this is it. Room number 2D; third floor. I should knock first. "Hello? Anybody home?"
"Emma? What are you doing here?" That voice is coming from behind me, isn't it?
"Hey, Rebecca! How are you doing?"
"I should be the one asking you that. What are you doing here?" She seems concerned. Why does she look concerned? She should be happy to see me! I should say something back instead of standing here, looking weird. "I... I came to see you. I've missed you." She let out a heavy sigh before responding. "I've missed you too, but -"
"No! Listen to me. I came here to see you and hang out with you. It's almost 7:00. Why don't we just go inside and have dinner together? Or you would rather go out instead?" She let out another heavy sigh. "Emma, I'm tired. I've had a long day at work today and my boyfriend is waiting inside for me. Could you move over, please?" I don't understand why she's acting this way. I do see that she looks tired, though. Perhaps I came on too strong. "Umm, Rebecca? Why aren't you happy to see me? I came out here so that I could be with you and hang out with you."
"I know, Emma." She sounds annoyed now. "You've said that to me twice already. Why isn't Mom and Dad with you? Do they know that you're here?"
Great. You just had to mention them, didn't you? "Uhh... not exactly."
"What??!! Why not?!"
"I'm sorry! And besides, what would I say to them anyways? 'Hey, mom and dad, I'm gonna take a trip over to Knoxville and see my sister.' I could get grounded!"
"Then maybe you should have stayed home!" She's mad now. I regret doing this. Maybe Rebecca is right about me coming here. I'm so stupid! Well, I should probably say something back.
"We used to be best friends, Rebecca. We trusted each other and made each other laugh. We were always there for each other growing up, and now it feels like you don't even care anymore." I can feel tears rolling down my face now. I hate feeling vulnerable.
"Why don't you come inside, sis? It's a little chilly out here."
"Umm, your phone is going off, Em. Who's calling you?"
"It's no one." It looks like Greg has called me multiple times today, but I don't know what to say to him now. I'm sure he hates me or think I've left him for good. I can't think about that right now, though. I better say something to my sister. "Yeah, it's no one. I just want to be in this moment with you right now." That made her smile.
"Well, what's new with you, sis? Are you seeing anyone right now?" Seriously? Out of all the questions, why did she have to ask me that?
"I, uhh... Well... I guess I am kind of seeing someone. His name is Greg."
"That's nice. Do you share any classes with him?"
"Not really. We just park our cars next to each other in the parking lot. I saw him get hit in the stomach with a football earlier in the year, so I went over to see if he's okay."
"Well, it's good to know that you're still nice to other people. Did you tell him about this impromptu meeting of ours?"
"No! I mean, why would I do that? I'm sorry, that came out wrong. I mean, I really like him. It's just hard for me to open up to him. You know how it is, right?" Rebecca looked at me for a long moment before responding.
"Yes, I do. And again, I'm sorry for not making more time to talk and for not saying goodbye after graduation. But believe me, mom and dad's separation was just as hard for me as it was for you. And I'm proud of you for stepping up when you did back then for mom. I'm sure she appreciates the help."
"Thanks. It was hard at first, but I've adjusted. You have two new brothers by the way."
"I know. Mom and Dad told me the last time they were here."
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that." Awkward silence... gotta love it, right? Rebecca stood up and handed me my purse. "It's getting late. You booked a hotel nearby, right?"
"Yes. I'll let you be about your night then. It was good to catch up with you." She hugged me in that moment after I stood up. This is exactly what I came here for. "I love you, Rebecca."
"I love you too, Em."
No comments:
Post a Comment