Since that night with Adam, Anna hasn’t been able to concentrate on much of anything. No matter how hard she tried, her mind would somehow find its way back towards that moment of her and Adam being together in bed, exploring each other’s bodies and making love with each other. The whole situation just felt so surreal to her, and deep down, part of her just wanted to see him again. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt that way with anybody, and she knew those moments from the past with her ex-husband were very rare. Just as she decided to pick up her phone from the side table, she felt a headache coming on and threw herself onto the couch, letting her phone slip from her hand.
FIVE YEARS AGO
Seth had never given much thought about the marriage at the time of him and Anna being together, but some nights, he would lock himself in the basement of their house and just ruminate on every possible thought. Am I doing everything right? Does Anna really love me? It feels like she doesn’t know me or trust me enough… The more he dwelled on these thoughts, the more confused he would feel, which only led to anger and frustration. He knew that Anna would always encourage him to communicate his feelings as she wanted to be there for him, but partially due to fear, he would always keep quiet since he felt she wouldn’t understand. On this night in particular, he just couldn’t get a good grasp on his feelings and didn’t know how to deal with them.
If there’s anything that Seth remembered after waking up and getting back on his feet, it’s that he wanted Anna to stay with him. He wanted her to see that he still cares, even if he struggles to express it in words. He was never taught how to use his words in a loving manner due to some childhood trauma of his own, and so this often placed feelings of doubt within him more often than not. All that Seth knows is that he loves Anna and wants this marriage to last. As soon as he figured out that she wasn’t anywhere to be found in the house, he felt utterly helpless.
PRESENT DAY
Adam never knew he could feel as close to someone as he did with Anna since that night, but for most of the week, he felt like he was on top of the world. Nothing could bring him down; not even the sounds of his friends bickering over which game to play, or the funny looks he got from his co-workers whenever he smiled to himself. The way she kissed him made it feel like she understood him completely, and he knew that he wanted to be as open and honest as possible about his intentions towards her. Even just remembering her name made him feel like he was floating on a cloud, like he had all the confidence in the world. I hope I’m not getting too ahead of myself, he said to himself. He knew he wanted to see Anna again, and so after his shift, he decided to head over to her house. Just as he knocked on the door however, the person who opened it wasn’t Anna. He actually didn’t recognize the person at all until he introduced himself. “My apologies for the lack of introduction, young sir. I had to come in on short notice. You can call me Keith.”
“It- it’s nice to meet you, Keith. Is everything okay with Anna?” He glanced past Keith’s shoulder to see Anna laying on the couch, looking pale and unresponsive. “How long has she been like this?”
“It’s hard to say. I don’t even know what caused this, but my guess is that she probably experienced some sort of trauma response or just felt faint, like some sort of dizziness or became light-headed.” Adam didn’t know how to respond to this, but based on how the man spoke, it seemed as if he knew more about Anna to come to such conclusions. “Um, sir? Can I ask what your relation is to Anna?”
“The two of us used to be neighbors back before she moved here. I guess in some ways, you can say I was the only real family she had. I took her in after understanding her situation with the ex-husband, but that story is not mine to share. I got there as soon as I could to be a source of comfort to her after what happened, and it seems like I’m having a case of deja vu in this situation now. My phone rang and I saw Anna’s name pop up on the caller ID, but she wasn’t saying anything on her end. I guess you can say she dialed my number without realizing it.” The two men sat down on either side of the couch with Anna laying down in between them, and Keith gently took her head and let her rest on his lap, fervently stroking her shoulder. “She’s been through a lot, you know. I hope she’ll find it in her to tell you soon. I’m just here to help until she gets back up on her feet.”
“You care about her a lot, don’t you?” Adam’s eyes darted back and forth between Anna and Keith, and just as he was about to stand up, Keith spoke up. “She’s pretty much like a daughter to me. I never had any kids, so please, be patient and gentle with her. I feel like I can’t stress that enough.”
“I- I’ll do the best I can, sir.” Keith offered Adam a half smile then shut the door behind him as he left, which woke Anna up from where she was laying on the couch. “Did Adam stop by? I wanted to see him.”
“You’ll see him again soon. Take it easy there, okay? You were lying unconscious for quite a while. Probably for about an hour, give or take.” Anna gave Keith a small smile, and he smiled towards her as he made his way back to the couch. “Thank you for showing up,” she said in a small voice. At that moment as he sat down, Keith kissed Anna on the forehead and let her fall asleep in his lap.
CHAPTER 11: CONVERSATIONS & CONNECTIONS
It was getting late at night, and Adam knew that he should be back at his own place in his own bed, but loneliness got the better of him, and so he and Anna were together yet again. This time however, he felt the need to keep his distance. Part of him was still mulling over the encounter he had with Keith the other day, and he knew Anna wouldn’t know anything about it unless he said something. Where would I start though?, he asked himself. Does she even remember dialing his number by accident? Adam started to feel nervous, and this raised concern within Anna. “Is everything okay? You seem off…”
“I’m fine.” Would I rather just sleep it off, or should I just tell her now? The questions continued to swirl around in his mind, and Anna could tell that he was keeping something from her. The more he tried to shut off his mind, the colder the air started to feel. Anna’s touch was gentle on his bare back, and as much as he enjoyed it deep down, he still felt anxious. “You can trust me, Adam. I’m here for you.” The minute she spoke those words, a surge of nausea flooded her senses, but she tried to keep herself steady. She took in a deep breath, slowly breathing in and out through her nose and mouth. She genuinely cared for Adam and wanted him to confide in her, hoping deep down that whatever he was dealing with would be something she could handle. Just as she was about to give up her patience and go to sleep, Adam turned around to face her, his expression displaying obvious signs of distress. “When I came by to see you the other day, you were pale and unresponsive. You didn’t answer the door, but Keith did. Do you remember anything from that day?” Anna’s expression was dumbfounded, which pretty much answered that question for him. It took her a minute to form any sort of response, but after sitting in silence for a few slow minutes, she said, “the only thing I remember is seeing Keith. I was surprised to see him, but also happy. How long was I out for?”
“About an hour. Keith alluded to something as to why you stayed unconscious for so long, talking about trauma responses and such, and he told me that I should be patient and gentle with you.” Adam didn’t say anything more after that as he hoped she would have an explanation for the things that were said then. When she didn’t respond however, he kindly asked, “is there something I should know about you, Anna? I feel like I’m being left out on a big secret, or some piece of your past that’s never seen the light of day…”.
About thirty minutes passed, and Anna was stunned speechless, not knowing how to form words about what Adam had just proposed to her. Her own mental and emotional triggers are something that she’s barely able to understand, and they come at times that feel the most random to her. Getting headaches is something that happens only sometimes, but not frequently. Her last panic attack happened when Seth showed up out of nowhere to visit her, and on the rare occasion, she’ll get nauseous if she tries to think back on a memory that’s not pleasant in the slightest. Is something wrong with me? It feels like I can’t recall any memories from my past relationship… she pondered to herself. Adam continued to look at her with curious eyes, wondering what could possibly be going on inside her head. He wondered if he had struck a nerve, or perhaps he was too direct in what he asked of her. He tried being kind and gentle, but considering the way Anna was processing this, he had to question if this was worth bringing up at all. “Look, I’m sorry if I placed any sort of trouble onto you. You don’t have to answer my question if you don’t want to. Should we just get some rest now? It’s almost 1 in the morning.”
“That’s probably a good idea. I’m sorry I wasn’t of much help to you.”
“It’s okay. We’ll blame it on me being too curious or nosy.”
“You shouldn’t have to blame yourself, though. No one has ever asked me about my past…” She drifted off into her own thoughts again for a moment, but quickly shook them off. “I’m glad that you care enough to ask me. If you’re still interested, perhaps we can discuss this in the morning or on the phone during your next break at work. I’m better at telling stories during the day or over texts.”
“Are you sure? I really don’t want to upset you in any way. You deserve to have some sense of privacy.” Adam was mumbling between yawns, and Anna had to listen closely since she knew he was starting to doze off. “I’m positive,” she said with a smile. She gently placed one hand on his shoulder, the other one curled up beside her chest. As she drifted off the sleep, the one thing that stayed in her mind was this one moment of connection, which made her feel both happy and vulnerable. How much am I willing to share with Adam?, she thought to herself before falling asleep. I know I remember some things, but other parts still feel blocked off… It’s not like I don’t want to remember… That last thought made Anna feel this small twinge of fear inside of her, which instead of making her feel relieved for finally confronting this, actually led her to shed some tears in her sleep, for she knew deep down that confronting her past would mean revisiting old wounds.
Adam never knew he could feel as close to someone as he did with Anna since that night, but for most of the week, he felt like he was on top of the world. Nothing could bring him down; not even the sounds of his friends bickering over which game to play, or the funny looks he got from his co-workers whenever he smiled to himself. The way she kissed him made it feel like she understood him completely, and he knew that he wanted to be as open and honest as possible about his intentions towards her. Even just remembering her name made him feel like he was floating on a cloud, like he had all the confidence in the world. I hope I’m not getting too ahead of myself, he said to himself. He knew he wanted to see Anna again, and so after his shift, he decided to head over to her house. Just as he knocked on the door however, the person who opened it wasn’t Anna. He actually didn’t recognize the person at all until he introduced himself. “My apologies for the lack of introduction, young sir. I had to come in on short notice. You can call me Keith.”
“It- it’s nice to meet you, Keith. Is everything okay with Anna?” He glanced past Keith’s shoulder to see Anna laying on the couch, looking pale and unresponsive. “How long has she been like this?”
“It’s hard to say. I don’t even know what caused this, but my guess is that she probably experienced some sort of trauma response or just felt faint, like some sort of dizziness or became light-headed.” Adam didn’t know how to respond to this, but based on how the man spoke, it seemed as if he knew more about Anna to come to such conclusions. “Um, sir? Can I ask what your relation is to Anna?”
“The two of us used to be neighbors back before she moved here. I guess in some ways, you can say I was the only real family she had. I took her in after understanding her situation with the ex-husband, but that story is not mine to share. I got there as soon as I could to be a source of comfort to her after what happened, and it seems like I’m having a case of deja vu in this situation now. My phone rang and I saw Anna’s name pop up on the caller ID, but she wasn’t saying anything on her end. I guess you can say she dialed my number without realizing it.” The two men sat down on either side of the couch with Anna laying down in between them, and Keith gently took her head and let her rest on his lap, fervently stroking her shoulder. “She’s been through a lot, you know. I hope she’ll find it in her to tell you soon. I’m just here to help until she gets back up on her feet.”
“You care about her a lot, don’t you?” Adam’s eyes darted back and forth between Anna and Keith, and just as he was about to stand up, Keith spoke up. “She’s pretty much like a daughter to me. I never had any kids, so please, be patient and gentle with her. I feel like I can’t stress that enough.”
“I- I’ll do the best I can, sir.” Keith offered Adam a half smile then shut the door behind him as he left, which woke Anna up from where she was laying on the couch. “Did Adam stop by? I wanted to see him.”
“You’ll see him again soon. Take it easy there, okay? You were lying unconscious for quite a while. Probably for about an hour, give or take.” Anna gave Keith a small smile, and he smiled towards her as he made his way back to the couch. “Thank you for showing up,” she said in a small voice. At that moment as he sat down, Keith kissed Anna on the forehead and let her fall asleep in his lap.
CHAPTER 11: CONVERSATIONS & CONNECTIONS
It was getting late at night, and Adam knew that he should be back at his own place in his own bed, but loneliness got the better of him, and so he and Anna were together yet again. This time however, he felt the need to keep his distance. Part of him was still mulling over the encounter he had with Keith the other day, and he knew Anna wouldn’t know anything about it unless he said something. Where would I start though?, he asked himself. Does she even remember dialing his number by accident? Adam started to feel nervous, and this raised concern within Anna. “Is everything okay? You seem off…”
“I’m fine.” Would I rather just sleep it off, or should I just tell her now? The questions continued to swirl around in his mind, and Anna could tell that he was keeping something from her. The more he tried to shut off his mind, the colder the air started to feel. Anna’s touch was gentle on his bare back, and as much as he enjoyed it deep down, he still felt anxious. “You can trust me, Adam. I’m here for you.” The minute she spoke those words, a surge of nausea flooded her senses, but she tried to keep herself steady. She took in a deep breath, slowly breathing in and out through her nose and mouth. She genuinely cared for Adam and wanted him to confide in her, hoping deep down that whatever he was dealing with would be something she could handle. Just as she was about to give up her patience and go to sleep, Adam turned around to face her, his expression displaying obvious signs of distress. “When I came by to see you the other day, you were pale and unresponsive. You didn’t answer the door, but Keith did. Do you remember anything from that day?” Anna’s expression was dumbfounded, which pretty much answered that question for him. It took her a minute to form any sort of response, but after sitting in silence for a few slow minutes, she said, “the only thing I remember is seeing Keith. I was surprised to see him, but also happy. How long was I out for?”
“About an hour. Keith alluded to something as to why you stayed unconscious for so long, talking about trauma responses and such, and he told me that I should be patient and gentle with you.” Adam didn’t say anything more after that as he hoped she would have an explanation for the things that were said then. When she didn’t respond however, he kindly asked, “is there something I should know about you, Anna? I feel like I’m being left out on a big secret, or some piece of your past that’s never seen the light of day…”.
About thirty minutes passed, and Anna was stunned speechless, not knowing how to form words about what Adam had just proposed to her. Her own mental and emotional triggers are something that she’s barely able to understand, and they come at times that feel the most random to her. Getting headaches is something that happens only sometimes, but not frequently. Her last panic attack happened when Seth showed up out of nowhere to visit her, and on the rare occasion, she’ll get nauseous if she tries to think back on a memory that’s not pleasant in the slightest. Is something wrong with me? It feels like I can’t recall any memories from my past relationship… she pondered to herself. Adam continued to look at her with curious eyes, wondering what could possibly be going on inside her head. He wondered if he had struck a nerve, or perhaps he was too direct in what he asked of her. He tried being kind and gentle, but considering the way Anna was processing this, he had to question if this was worth bringing up at all. “Look, I’m sorry if I placed any sort of trouble onto you. You don’t have to answer my question if you don’t want to. Should we just get some rest now? It’s almost 1 in the morning.”
“That’s probably a good idea. I’m sorry I wasn’t of much help to you.”
“It’s okay. We’ll blame it on me being too curious or nosy.”
“You shouldn’t have to blame yourself, though. No one has ever asked me about my past…” She drifted off into her own thoughts again for a moment, but quickly shook them off. “I’m glad that you care enough to ask me. If you’re still interested, perhaps we can discuss this in the morning or on the phone during your next break at work. I’m better at telling stories during the day or over texts.”
“Are you sure? I really don’t want to upset you in any way. You deserve to have some sense of privacy.” Adam was mumbling between yawns, and Anna had to listen closely since she knew he was starting to doze off. “I’m positive,” she said with a smile. She gently placed one hand on his shoulder, the other one curled up beside her chest. As she drifted off the sleep, the one thing that stayed in her mind was this one moment of connection, which made her feel both happy and vulnerable. How much am I willing to share with Adam?, she thought to herself before falling asleep. I know I remember some things, but other parts still feel blocked off… It’s not like I don’t want to remember… That last thought made Anna feel this small twinge of fear inside of her, which instead of making her feel relieved for finally confronting this, actually led her to shed some tears in her sleep, for she knew deep down that confronting her past would mean revisiting old wounds.
CHAPTER 12: THE SECRET
“I got married young. Straight out of high school to be exact. I guess you can say that Seth and I knew each other well enough for the age we were at at the time, but I didn’t think things would feel different once it happened when we committed ourselves to each other. It’s like there was this invisible weight sitting on my shoulders, and all I wanted was to be a good partner and wife for him; perhaps Seth was in a similar position, but I could never tell for certain. He had his days where he would feel distant from me, like he didn’t want to share anything with me or was unwilling to seek that deeper connection. I truly did love him and cared about him. Probably more than I should have, all things considered. I kind of feel bad for allowing myself to stay for so long, especially when things between us started to fall apart.”
“I got married young. Straight out of high school to be exact. I guess you can say that Seth and I knew each other well enough for the age we were at at the time, but I didn’t think things would feel different once it happened when we committed ourselves to each other. It’s like there was this invisible weight sitting on my shoulders, and all I wanted was to be a good partner and wife for him; perhaps Seth was in a similar position, but I could never tell for certain. He had his days where he would feel distant from me, like he didn’t want to share anything with me or was unwilling to seek that deeper connection. I truly did love him and cared about him. Probably more than I should have, all things considered. I kind of feel bad for allowing myself to stay for so long, especially when things between us started to fall apart.”
“How long did you two stay together?” Adam asked. Both he and Anna were sitting in a coffee shop, sitting in a booth far away from most of the crowd who would come in and out for their caffeine fix for the day. The weather was gloomy and rainy with hardly any trace of the sun in the sky, and neither one of them wanted to stay at home for the entire day. “We were married for three years, but we dated each other for about two years in junior and senior year of high school. One of my girlfriends at the time introduced me to him because she knew I liked him, but I could never find the strength to go up and talk to him. My crush on him lasted much longer than the amount of time we spent dating if I’m being honest here.” Anna started to blush, and Adam softly placed his hand on hers while smiling in her direction. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. I’ve had plenty of crushes myself, but they never amounted to anything.” Anna smiled meekly, then she started to speak again. “Is there anything else you want to know about me?”
“I am curious to know how your sister came to know about this. You said she left to go to college at the time of you getting married, right?”
“That’s right. I can’t recall all of those details, but I remember overhearing bits and pieces of a conversation that Mr. Keith had over the phone. After I was taken in, both Keith and his wife made it their mission to make sure I felt safe, and they asked me if I had any other family in town who would be worried about me. I told them about my sister then, so I guess you can say she found out through them. I’m so grateful for the amount of help and hospitality they extended to me. They really became strong parental figures for me at that time of my life.” Anna started to smile as she relayed her thoughts and feelings on that memory, and Adam smiled in return. “I’m not religious by any means, but if I’m being honest, sometimes I feel like my relationship with Keith and his wife just came at the perfect time. It’s like it was meant to be. I felt safe and loved.”
“I’m glad that they were able to help support you, Anna. I have a couple more questions left for you, one of which is tied to why this one memory holds such a special place in your heart. I’m not sure how to word it, but what happened in the amount of time before being placed in their care and your marriage ending?” Anna took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. She knew that this question would come eventually, but still, she had to prepare herself mentally and emotionally before answering it. Adam’s eyes took in every second of this moment, trying his best to remain kind, gentle and patient as she took her time to find her words. At one point, his eyes drifted from her gaze to the bustle of their environment, seeing each new person walk into the shop and watching those in groups talk among themselves. “Adam?” Anna snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Earth to Adam!”
“Oh! Sorry. Just lost my focus for a moment. Do you feel ready to answer now?”
“Yes. However, I’m starting to feel a little nervous. Can we head outside and talk there?”
“Sure thing.” As the two of them got up out of their seats, Adam let Anna walk in front of him. She threw away her trash first then opened up the front door, and he followed out behind her. Minutes later, they were sitting on a bench that was hidden by some trees, which was conveniently placed on the other side of where Adam parked his car. “Seth raped me.” The statement made Adam raise an eyebrow in surprise and shock. When Anna looked at his expression, she immediately started to form questions in her mind, wondering if she was too direct or blatant with how she answered his question. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know how else to answer the question.”
“No, it’s okay. I know my reaction wasn’t exactly subtle… I’m sorry that happened to you, Anna.” His eyes went from turning wide to becoming more narrow, almost like he was about to cry. “Are you okay, Adam? I didn’t mean to upset you…”
“It’s okay, Anna. I’m a very sensitive person, especially when it comes to other people and understanding them on an emotional level. I feel for you so much. I had no idea, and so for that, I guess you can say that you’ve opened up my heart more. You deserve better, and it all makes sense now.” After having said that, he instinctively wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, which struck Anna as odd for a moment, but she welcomed it and hugged him back. Once they parted from the long hug, Adam confidently leaned in to kiss her on the lips. She could feel the amount of passion in the way he kissed her; it’s like he wanted to make it known that he loves her and wants her to feel valued. The deeper each kiss became, the harder it became for Anna to keep her composure. So much unexpected gratitude started to fill in her chest and she started to cry while smiling at him. “Why are you crying?” Adam asked with deep concern.
“Because I- umm…,” she paused for a moment before finishing her sentence. She kept her hands over her face, trying to stop the tears from flowing. Once she finally was able to catch her breath and stopped crying, she started to speak again. “I haven’t been able to say it since my first marriage. That version of love felt so different. It was constricting, like I wasn’t able to be myself around him. I wasn’t able to do a lot of things… WIth you, I feel so free. I feel like that weight has finally been lifted off my shoulders. I… I love you, Adam.” Her head was starting to spin, so she reached out to hold his hand. The two of them smiled at each other in a way that felt so real and genuine. “I feel so happy and grateful for this moment we’re sharing right now, Adam. I don’t think you know how much being here with you means to me.”
“I am curious to know how your sister came to know about this. You said she left to go to college at the time of you getting married, right?”
“That’s right. I can’t recall all of those details, but I remember overhearing bits and pieces of a conversation that Mr. Keith had over the phone. After I was taken in, both Keith and his wife made it their mission to make sure I felt safe, and they asked me if I had any other family in town who would be worried about me. I told them about my sister then, so I guess you can say she found out through them. I’m so grateful for the amount of help and hospitality they extended to me. They really became strong parental figures for me at that time of my life.” Anna started to smile as she relayed her thoughts and feelings on that memory, and Adam smiled in return. “I’m not religious by any means, but if I’m being honest, sometimes I feel like my relationship with Keith and his wife just came at the perfect time. It’s like it was meant to be. I felt safe and loved.”
“I’m glad that they were able to help support you, Anna. I have a couple more questions left for you, one of which is tied to why this one memory holds such a special place in your heart. I’m not sure how to word it, but what happened in the amount of time before being placed in their care and your marriage ending?” Anna took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. She knew that this question would come eventually, but still, she had to prepare herself mentally and emotionally before answering it. Adam’s eyes took in every second of this moment, trying his best to remain kind, gentle and patient as she took her time to find her words. At one point, his eyes drifted from her gaze to the bustle of their environment, seeing each new person walk into the shop and watching those in groups talk among themselves. “Adam?” Anna snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Earth to Adam!”
“Oh! Sorry. Just lost my focus for a moment. Do you feel ready to answer now?”
“Yes. However, I’m starting to feel a little nervous. Can we head outside and talk there?”
“Sure thing.” As the two of them got up out of their seats, Adam let Anna walk in front of him. She threw away her trash first then opened up the front door, and he followed out behind her. Minutes later, they were sitting on a bench that was hidden by some trees, which was conveniently placed on the other side of where Adam parked his car. “Seth raped me.” The statement made Adam raise an eyebrow in surprise and shock. When Anna looked at his expression, she immediately started to form questions in her mind, wondering if she was too direct or blatant with how she answered his question. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know how else to answer the question.”
“No, it’s okay. I know my reaction wasn’t exactly subtle… I’m sorry that happened to you, Anna.” His eyes went from turning wide to becoming more narrow, almost like he was about to cry. “Are you okay, Adam? I didn’t mean to upset you…”
“It’s okay, Anna. I’m a very sensitive person, especially when it comes to other people and understanding them on an emotional level. I feel for you so much. I had no idea, and so for that, I guess you can say that you’ve opened up my heart more. You deserve better, and it all makes sense now.” After having said that, he instinctively wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, which struck Anna as odd for a moment, but she welcomed it and hugged him back. Once they parted from the long hug, Adam confidently leaned in to kiss her on the lips. She could feel the amount of passion in the way he kissed her; it’s like he wanted to make it known that he loves her and wants her to feel valued. The deeper each kiss became, the harder it became for Anna to keep her composure. So much unexpected gratitude started to fill in her chest and she started to cry while smiling at him. “Why are you crying?” Adam asked with deep concern.
“Because I- umm…,” she paused for a moment before finishing her sentence. She kept her hands over her face, trying to stop the tears from flowing. Once she finally was able to catch her breath and stopped crying, she started to speak again. “I haven’t been able to say it since my first marriage. That version of love felt so different. It was constricting, like I wasn’t able to be myself around him. I wasn’t able to do a lot of things… WIth you, I feel so free. I feel like that weight has finally been lifted off my shoulders. I… I love you, Adam.” Her head was starting to spin, so she reached out to hold his hand. The two of them smiled at each other in a way that felt so real and genuine. “I feel so happy and grateful for this moment we’re sharing right now, Adam. I don’t think you know how much being here with you means to me.”
CHAPTER 13: SETH
Two months ago when he visited Anna, he thought he knew what it was he wanted, and part of him still feels like he messed up his one chance. What stuck out the most though is that she never questioned how he was able to find her. Back home in Connecticut, people aren’t exactly shy when it comes to knowing the whereabouts of others. It’s a blessing and a curse since rumors tend to float around a bit too often, and it’s about half and half as to which ones end up being true. It was like a stroke of good fate when he overheard an older couple talking about Anna and how she moved from their small town to another state. He confronted them and asked where exactly she moved to, and while they showed some hesitancy, they were willing enough to give him the information he needed.
He took a bus to his designated stop, which overall, took about five hours. His intention was to just pick up where they left off, but when he saw Anna face to face on her doorstep, every last thought he had in his mind just vanished, so he decided to just play it safe and make small talk. When she had her panic attack, he thought that was his cue to leave, the guilt and shame coming back to the surface and leaving him to feel defeated. Deep down, he always felt like he didn’t deserve her as soon as they said their private vows to each other in the backyard of their neighbor’s house. They were too young to understand anything about marriage, and they couldn’t afford the expenses of a real wedding, and so in reality, the only legal proof they had of a marriage was a piece of paper that was signed by their neighbor Keith. Anna had pleaded her case to him, asking for him to at least call someone in the city council who can make it legal and official. Judging by the tone of his voice as he was eavesdropping near the side of his house, Seth could tell that Keith wasn’t completely on board with their decision, but he cared enough to know that he wanted to see Anna happy.
Seth never left the state to head back home after seeing Anna in her new house. He wanted to try again; he wanted to make things right. His confidence feeling a little shaky, he had to question whether or not he wanted to go through with this. He shook away the thought as he took in a deep breath, forcing the doubts and questions away. He still loves Anna. The guilt and shame he’s carried for this long is enough to have him make this decision. He just needed to find the right moment to catch Anna off guard. All he wants to do is talk to her. All he wants to do is apologize for not being a good enough partner for her. If she can forgive him, perhaps then he can carry on and move forward with his life. After sitting on the couch of his apartment for what seemed like an eternity, getting lost in his thoughts, he finally stood up and hurriedly left the apartment, forgetting to lock the door behind him.
ANNA
For the first time since the night of the party, Anna decided that she wanted to spend time with Adam at his house. His friends had mixed reactions at the thought, but once they talked about it, they decided to give her a chance. “You have to remember, Adam. None of us (except for Steve) have ever been around girls growing up, so this is new for us. We’ll try to make ourselves scarce, though. I know the two of you probably want to be alone.” Chase gave him a half reassuring smile then headed towards the kitchen to grab some snacks. Looking in Anna’s direction as she drifted around the space, he said to him, “she definitely looks like a keeper. I can see why you took an interest in her.” He gave a sly look and Adam rolled his eyes. “Goodbye now,” he said as he opened the door to the basement, pretending to kick his friend from behind. Once he shut the door, he walked up to Anna and said, “Do you want something to drink? We have soda, and there’s a water dispenser built into the fridge. I apologize for not having any other healthy options…”. She chuckled softly and responded, “I’m good for right now, but thanks. I think I’ll just sit down.”
“Make yourself at home then. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” She nodded without turning in his direction, getting lost in her surroundings. Adam headed towards the basement, and just as the door clicked shut, there was a knock at the front door. Did they order pizza or something? Anna asked herself. Just as she was about to walk up to the door, it opened by itself and she stood frozen, her expression moving away from curiosity to becoming agitated. Since no one heard the knock from the basement, she decided to quietly leave the house and shut the door behind her. “So first you decide to just randomly stop by my house, and now you’re here at Adam’s doorstep? I thought you left to go back home. That’s what you should have done. Why are you here, Seth?”
“I just wanted to talk…” When he didn’t say anything else to follow up that statement, Anna crossed her arms in front of her chest and said, “Okay. Talk.”
“I’m sorry,” he said in refute. “I’m sorry for treating you so badly. I’m sorry for putting you in a place of absolute terror and vulnerability. I’m sorry for never taking the time to consider if you felt happy or comfortable around me. I’ve felt great shame and guilt since waking up from what happened… I know I’ve caused a lot of damage and harm, but I just wanted to see you again.” He went silent again. He wasn’t prepared for any of this, and based on his current state of mind- as frazzled as it was- upon seeing her up close, he could feel himself coiling up into a shell of who he was back then, like nothing has changed for him. “I’m not good enough for you, am I?”
“You’re just now realizing that?” The question struck him, leaving him confused and dumbfounded. “What does that mean?”
“Look at you, Seth. You’re a mess. I’ll bet you stayed here because you had a plan in mind to win me back, but instead, here you are spilling your guts out. I’ve finally moved on. I’m here on a date with Adam. It’s time for you to move on as well.”
“Wait, you’re dating someone new now?”
“Yes, I just told you that.” Anna hesitated, but she inched closer towards her former partner only to see his eyes looking swollen like he hasn’t slept in months. He also had a slight odor that lingered around him, and she took a step backwards to maintain her distance. “Go home. That’s not a request this time. If you don’t, then I’m calling the cops.”
“Is that really necessary? I missed you… I still love you.”
“Well I don’t love you anymore.” Anna paused for a moment as she replayed what she just said in her mind. She seemed to be surprised by her own words, like she had just found some strength to stand against the man who once made her feel so weak and small. “That’s right. I don’t love you anymore,” she said again. And just before she shut the door in his face, she looked him dead in the eyes and said firmly, “Go home, Seth. You have no business being here. We’re done. For good.”
Two months ago when he visited Anna, he thought he knew what it was he wanted, and part of him still feels like he messed up his one chance. What stuck out the most though is that she never questioned how he was able to find her. Back home in Connecticut, people aren’t exactly shy when it comes to knowing the whereabouts of others. It’s a blessing and a curse since rumors tend to float around a bit too often, and it’s about half and half as to which ones end up being true. It was like a stroke of good fate when he overheard an older couple talking about Anna and how she moved from their small town to another state. He confronted them and asked where exactly she moved to, and while they showed some hesitancy, they were willing enough to give him the information he needed.
He took a bus to his designated stop, which overall, took about five hours. His intention was to just pick up where they left off, but when he saw Anna face to face on her doorstep, every last thought he had in his mind just vanished, so he decided to just play it safe and make small talk. When she had her panic attack, he thought that was his cue to leave, the guilt and shame coming back to the surface and leaving him to feel defeated. Deep down, he always felt like he didn’t deserve her as soon as they said their private vows to each other in the backyard of their neighbor’s house. They were too young to understand anything about marriage, and they couldn’t afford the expenses of a real wedding, and so in reality, the only legal proof they had of a marriage was a piece of paper that was signed by their neighbor Keith. Anna had pleaded her case to him, asking for him to at least call someone in the city council who can make it legal and official. Judging by the tone of his voice as he was eavesdropping near the side of his house, Seth could tell that Keith wasn’t completely on board with their decision, but he cared enough to know that he wanted to see Anna happy.
Seth never left the state to head back home after seeing Anna in her new house. He wanted to try again; he wanted to make things right. His confidence feeling a little shaky, he had to question whether or not he wanted to go through with this. He shook away the thought as he took in a deep breath, forcing the doubts and questions away. He still loves Anna. The guilt and shame he’s carried for this long is enough to have him make this decision. He just needed to find the right moment to catch Anna off guard. All he wants to do is talk to her. All he wants to do is apologize for not being a good enough partner for her. If she can forgive him, perhaps then he can carry on and move forward with his life. After sitting on the couch of his apartment for what seemed like an eternity, getting lost in his thoughts, he finally stood up and hurriedly left the apartment, forgetting to lock the door behind him.
ANNA
For the first time since the night of the party, Anna decided that she wanted to spend time with Adam at his house. His friends had mixed reactions at the thought, but once they talked about it, they decided to give her a chance. “You have to remember, Adam. None of us (except for Steve) have ever been around girls growing up, so this is new for us. We’ll try to make ourselves scarce, though. I know the two of you probably want to be alone.” Chase gave him a half reassuring smile then headed towards the kitchen to grab some snacks. Looking in Anna’s direction as she drifted around the space, he said to him, “she definitely looks like a keeper. I can see why you took an interest in her.” He gave a sly look and Adam rolled his eyes. “Goodbye now,” he said as he opened the door to the basement, pretending to kick his friend from behind. Once he shut the door, he walked up to Anna and said, “Do you want something to drink? We have soda, and there’s a water dispenser built into the fridge. I apologize for not having any other healthy options…”. She chuckled softly and responded, “I’m good for right now, but thanks. I think I’ll just sit down.”
“Make yourself at home then. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” She nodded without turning in his direction, getting lost in her surroundings. Adam headed towards the basement, and just as the door clicked shut, there was a knock at the front door. Did they order pizza or something? Anna asked herself. Just as she was about to walk up to the door, it opened by itself and she stood frozen, her expression moving away from curiosity to becoming agitated. Since no one heard the knock from the basement, she decided to quietly leave the house and shut the door behind her. “So first you decide to just randomly stop by my house, and now you’re here at Adam’s doorstep? I thought you left to go back home. That’s what you should have done. Why are you here, Seth?”
“I just wanted to talk…” When he didn’t say anything else to follow up that statement, Anna crossed her arms in front of her chest and said, “Okay. Talk.”
“I’m sorry,” he said in refute. “I’m sorry for treating you so badly. I’m sorry for putting you in a place of absolute terror and vulnerability. I’m sorry for never taking the time to consider if you felt happy or comfortable around me. I’ve felt great shame and guilt since waking up from what happened… I know I’ve caused a lot of damage and harm, but I just wanted to see you again.” He went silent again. He wasn’t prepared for any of this, and based on his current state of mind- as frazzled as it was- upon seeing her up close, he could feel himself coiling up into a shell of who he was back then, like nothing has changed for him. “I’m not good enough for you, am I?”
“You’re just now realizing that?” The question struck him, leaving him confused and dumbfounded. “What does that mean?”
“Look at you, Seth. You’re a mess. I’ll bet you stayed here because you had a plan in mind to win me back, but instead, here you are spilling your guts out. I’ve finally moved on. I’m here on a date with Adam. It’s time for you to move on as well.”
“Wait, you’re dating someone new now?”
“Yes, I just told you that.” Anna hesitated, but she inched closer towards her former partner only to see his eyes looking swollen like he hasn’t slept in months. He also had a slight odor that lingered around him, and she took a step backwards to maintain her distance. “Go home. That’s not a request this time. If you don’t, then I’m calling the cops.”
“Is that really necessary? I missed you… I still love you.”
“Well I don’t love you anymore.” Anna paused for a moment as she replayed what she just said in her mind. She seemed to be surprised by her own words, like she had just found some strength to stand against the man who once made her feel so weak and small. “That’s right. I don’t love you anymore,” she said again. And just before she shut the door in his face, she looked him dead in the eyes and said firmly, “Go home, Seth. You have no business being here. We’re done. For good.”
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