A Rebel at Heart

 I'm only one year into my 30's, but if there's one thing that's apparent with me no matter what, it's that it's never easy for me to walk a straight and narrow line in life. I've done a lot of exploration of different topics and mediums, and I know that as a result, my blog has taken on different directions over the years. In some ways, you could say that I've come full circle since my mind is multi-faceted. I started this blog so that I can have an outlet; I still see things that way now. 

In reality, I'm a very private person. It's not easy for me to open up and be vulnerable with others, but I do appreciate it when people genuinely ask how I'm doing. I appreciate forming genuine connections with other people. On the other side of the coin, I'm not afraid to say exactly what's on my mind without sugarcoating things. I like to keep things real and raw, and I know that this aids to my benefit when it comes to my creative side. 

This post doesn't really have any rhyme or reason, but I wanted to make it anyways. I've come a long way, but I know I still have a lot of life left ahead of me. I know that in many ways, writing and blogging has had a very cathartic effect on me. My emotions can be better expressed and processed in writing; that honestly hasn't changed with me. It takes a very special person for me to come out of my shell and bare out my heart. I know who that person is, but then again, I'm someone who highly values my own privacy. I know that this blog could easily lead a person to think otherwise. I guess to some extent, the way I create content is different from how other people create content. I don't like to shy away from stating my opinions, but at the same time, not everything in my life needs to be made public. I feel like I've finally come to understand that fine line and uphold some sense of balance. 

So when referring to the title of this post, a few thoughts come to mind. I do consider myself a rebel at heart, but to what extent? Well, I know I've been careless and reckless plenty of times, but that's not exactly part of what I feel makes me a rebel. I think a lot of it has to do with my mindset and how I choose to live my life. I know that I believe in God, but at the same time, I tend to hold a very progressive stance on the matter. I don't like to see things from this simplistic or black and white perspective. For me, I carry this belief that you can never learn too much in life. Humans are meant to evolve, grow and change. I love taking on new challenges, and if I ever find myself in the position of feeling too comfortable, I'll find a way to change things up. Sometimes, change can allow you to gain a new perspective on life. I know that change isn't easy to adapt to for most people, but it's just a necessary part of life. We may be made in God's image, but when it comes to living on earth, there's more than one option when it comes to navigating the ups and downs of life.

Because this post is merely just a collection of different thoughts I have on my growth as a person, I'm going to wrap this up by saying that being a rebel at heart isn't necessarily a bad thing. God knows me inside and out, and I know what I want to stand for. There may have been a point in time where I've invited too much chaos into my mind, and there may have been times where I've been the one to create chaos from confusion in one way or another. Either way, at least I can say I'm still standing. I definitely feel a sense of pride and happiness in who I've become, so to those of you who are reading this, I hope that you can find some sense of hope or comfort in my words. Or if not, then perhaps you can at least gain better insight on what kind of person I am.