Belief is a choice. Faith is a choice. There are no guarantees in life, but I understand that depression, whether it's clinical, psychological, situational or chronic is NOT demonic! It's a disorder. It's a barrier that makes everyday living feel difficult, but that doesn't mean your life is over. It doesn't diminish your worth. Your identity is worth more than the battles you fight against inside your head. The way you show up for others out of love and care speaks much so much louder than whatever struggles or demons you face. Situational depression is still rooted in mental health struggles, but that's more on a psychological level. The rational brain loves to find ways to make it seem like certain areas of life are more difficult or heavy than they actually are, and this is something that I have struggled with for many years.
Chronic depression is clinical. It's something that needs psychiatric care. It may even require medication to prevent its symptoms. Suicidal tendencies are real, and these kinds of thoughts can be a residual symptom of any form of depression, but there are ways to combat this with the help of professionals.
Anybody who says that depression is something that only God can fix has never really experienced it themselves on a mental level. Experiencing depressive thoughts is different from having depression. It's not easy for some of us to just stop being depressed. It's a core wound that can start very early on in childhood. Love is a choice. We all choose to love in the best ways we can, but we're all still human as well.
I believe that suicide isn't an option. It's okay to talk about your struggles with someone you love and trust. I believe that while God isn't going to magically heal everything, He can and will see what you're going through. He will always hold you close while you're in the midst of your darkest moments. Placing faith in Him is a choice; it's not always an easy choice, but He's always working behind the scenes. His timing is always perfect, even if He doesn't give you all the answers right away.
Speaking from experience now, I know that life isn't always fair or easy. I also recognize that everybody has days where they can't find the strength to stand, or the courage to get up and face the day. The nights can feel very heavy and draining... The way the human mind works is very complex and difficult. Depression or suicidal thoughts doesn't make living any easier, but isn't it worth it still to at least find one thing in life that brings us hope or joy? It doesn't have to be anything big. Just find something small. It makes a difference. And if anybody out there hasn't been told this yet, I care. I care about the lives of those who are struggling or lurking in the shadows, no matter how dark they seem.
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