What I Believe and Who I Am

Everybody has their own personal beliefs, but now I want to talk about what I believe.

I believe that as long as I'm still alive, the only thing that I'd like to focus on right now is being in the moment and trying to stay true to myself. High school for me was crazy but also fun; I got to know some new people who were nice and also got to know more about the friends I had in middle school. I was in the marching band and that was a lot of fun for me; it gave me a sense of purpose that I sometimes struggled to find.

In my teenage years I was very shy and insecure. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life after high school even though my first major in community college was in Early Childhood (which I ended up switching to Humanities after my first year ended). Because of this struggle, I now believe that everything happens for a reason. I put my education on an indefinite hold so that I could gain more real-world experience. I've worked two different jobs so far that were set in different environments. So along with that, I also believe that everybody is different for a reason and that I can only do the best I can with what I'm given. This mindset is hard for me to maintain sometimes, but I'm still learning as life goes on.

As of right now I am on a temporary vacation from the work life as I prepare for my grandmother to move closer to my family. I'm doing my part by helping to clean the house and taking care of our two cats. Life for me at this moment is content; I'm glad to have a few weeks to relax but also get things done. But the life lessons don't stop there because I have two online friends that I've known for a couple years now. They are very different from each other which can be a good and bad thing for me. Up until a year or so ago I thought I knew what life was like and I was able to stick to what I knew then. Nowadays all I know is that life isn't easy. I believe people should just live life in a way that they see fit. I try not to judge as much and I try not to be forceful with my thoughts and opinions. I've also come to believe that if there's a problem that's bigger than me, I should try to just let God handle it and not get myself into more trouble. Now sometimes I don't always adhere to those words, but I know I'm not perfect and that God can forgive me when I admit to my mistakes.

I believe that life is whatever you want it to be. I may not be able to control or change some things in life, but I can choose to be a better person than I was in the past. I'm not the same person I was 2 years ago or even 5 years ago; there are a lot of things about me that have changed. At the same time, I'm still someone who believes in goodness and sees the best in people. I've always been someone who lives in the moment and cares for others. At the same time, I have moments where I can only think of myself and will worry about what other people think of me. If someone asks me to be something I'm not or asks why I'm doubtful sometimes, the only answer that I'm going to have is that I'm not perfect. I'm not going to make any promises that I can't keep. I'm just a simple human being who is trying her best to live her life in a way that she sees fit.