Relationship Talk: Jealousy & Insecurity

To me at least, feeling comfortable with the person you're with is important. If either person in the relationship doesn't feel comfortable enough within themselves, then how are they going to feel when they're together? How are they going to communicate if conflict arises? 

In all my experiences with insecurity, one thing I've learned is that doubting yourself will definitely kill your inner confidence- add love into the mix and it can definitely cause some issues. I've had my fair share of moments where I wasn't sure if my relationship would work out. I've had moments where I really wanted to give up- and I have followed through with that more times than I care to admit, but despite this one struggle I've had, I always came back. It's not easy to feel like your best self when you're in a relationship, but sometimes, you just have to be your own best friend and not become too dependent on your significant other. 

Now I do believe there's a difference between being possessive and jealous. I don't believe in making generalizations because every person's situation is different, but when it comes to jealousy in particular, I do feel like it's easy us to develop that feeling if we don't feel confident within ourselves. And while it is okay for one to feel this way, what's not okay is acting out on that feeling in a way that's damaging or negative. This is why communication is so important, even if it's difficult. 

Being possessive or over-protective of someone you love can sometimes be a good thing as it reminds people that they should stay committed to the person they love. However, I do believe there's a small, grey area within this topic because one has to have enough trust in their partner. I feel like it's common these days for people to not trust other people instantaneously, but if you're someone who's constantly keeping their guard up or acting like your partner can't fend for his/herself, then perhaps you should learn a thing or two about having more trust. In this case, actions definitely speak louder than words. You can't just say you trust your partner then do something else that doesn't support your claim. 

I personally have dealt with jealousy a couple times at least, but I can't say that I ever let that feeling become an issue for me when it comes to my behavior. I always try my best to be honest with my feelings, but even if I'm not, I still have my morality in check. Even then however, I know I'm not perfect. 

If there's any advice that I can offer based on my experiences, it would be that trust has to be mutual. I'd also say that it's okay for you to be human; it's okay for you to feel insecure, jealous or even like a failure. HOWEVER, you should not let those feelings dictate the way you act. Try your best to be honest with yourself and with your partner; it'll definitely save you a lot of time in the end. Trust me on that.