Chapter 2: Misunderstood (Levi)
Levi’s parents had split up when he was around five years old. This made him assume more responsibility around the house, and especially after finding out that his mother’s boyfriend got her pregnant. She actually became pregnant twice just months after the divorce, so it felt natural for him to become a more responsible figure so that she could look after his two baby sisters. He took on two jobs, and with what little free time he had, he would use it by helping out around the house. His older sister, Hannah, had already moved out and was trying to get her own business off the ground. Any time she would stop by to visit, Levi would try to keep conversations with her to a minimum. The excuse he would always use is “I’m busy”, but he knew deep down that he just didn’t want to face his jealousy. He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was drowning, and so to avoid it, he would pick up any busywork he could. If he really wanted to leave- and sometimes, that thought does come up to the surface- he wouldn’t hesitate to pack up his bags and make it happen.
At around age ten, Levi developed a bad case of insomnia and depression. He wasn’t able to do much of anything outside of his schoolwork. The only person in his life at the time who seemed to understand what was going on was Alex. If she hadn’t approached him during class, asking if he had any spare markers for her to use, he couldn’t imagine where he would have ended up. As kids, they didn’t talk much, but on the weekends, they would spend hours together doing all sorts of things and getting lost in their imagination. One of the very few memories that still stands out to him as an adult is being in her backyard, making their own fort out of boxes, sheets and strings. After they had set it all up, they decided to watch the movie Up!. Once the footage of Carl and Ellie’s childhood together popped on the screen, they realized that they could see themselves within Carl and Ellie’s characters. Alex pulled herself away from the TV for a moment and smiled at Levi. He smiled back and then decided to pull her close to him in a side hug. Before the two of them could part ways from each other, Alex kissed him on the cheek. Thinking about it now at twenty-six years old, Levi realized that his friendship with Alex is something that he’ll always keep close to his heart. The two of them fell out of touch after graduating from high school, and while no one knew why exactly, his mom and Hannah noticed a difference within Levi’s behavior. Occasionally, Hannah would insist on trying to become closer to her brother by asking about his love life. This would always make him feel uncomfortable, but he would willingly mutter certain things like “I don’t have time” or “I just don’t feel ready to get back out there”. To her, those two phrases said enough about his feelings. He was still pining over Alex, or at least, that’s what she was convinced of. While neither she or their mother knew a whole lot about Alex, the two of them knew that they were inseparable during their childhood. Hannah never took it personally because she just wanted her brother to be happy, but with the two of them being adults now, she realized that there’s still a lot that she doesn’t know about him.
ALEX: LIFE WITHOUT YOU
If she hadn’t kissed Levi back in the day when they were kids, she could have easily convinced herself that she didn’t have feelings for him. Everything is just more simple as a kid, and you would never second guess the feelings you have for someone at that age. With her being twenty-five now, she just couldn’t help but wonder if she did have feelings for him. Sometimes when it’s late at night and she’s alone with her thoughts, she would start to fantasize about life with him. It all sounds silly, picturing this image of the two of them dating or even eventually getting married together. She wasn’t sure if that’s what she really wanted anyway. The only thing she knew is that forgetting about him felt impossible.
One night as she was getting ready for bed, her sister slid into her room unannounced. SIlent as a mouse, Alex didn’t know she was in her room until Emily jumped out from behind the bathroom door and scared her. Alex staggered backwards with wide eyes, and Emily burst out laughing. “I got you good! You should’ve seen your face!” she said while running away from the room. Alex rolled her eyes in annoyance and then chuckled under her breath. She could never understand why her younger sister loved scaring her so much, but she couldn’t deny the hilarity of those moments.
Alex didn’t know much about Levi as a kid, but because they hung out so much throughout their younger years, she definitely thought she knew him well enough. They’ve gone to the same classes, always sat together during lunch, and during recess in elementary school, the two of them would share snacks and joke around together. All of her friends back then saw the two of them as lovebirds. They thought that one day, the two of them would surely get married because of how inseparable they were. And perhaps in the back of her mind, she believed in those things. She thought that perhaps she could be the one for Levi. The only problem is that they don’t keep in touch as much as they used to, and she doesn’t know how to get in touch with him since they never exchanged phone numbers. Just as she found herself getting lost in thought again, her mom appeared at the front of her bedroom door.
“May I come in?” her mom gently knocked on the door, and Alex motioned for her to come in.
“I have a question for you. Do you remember Levi?”
“Of course I do. The two of you were-”
“I know, we were inseparable as kids.”
“So what’s your question then?” Alex’s mother laid a hand on her daughter’s back and started to stroke it lightly, which made Alex smile. Her mom always knew how to make her feel comfortable. “I just want to know if you stayed in touch with his family.”
“Well, I can’t say I have. I know we used to be neighbors with them, but people change and grow apart. It’s just part of life.” Alex took a minute to absorb her mother’s words. She knew that she was right, but she still couldn’t admit it to herself. “Is there a reason why you’re asking?”
“I just miss him. It feels weird to say that given how much time has passed… Do you think he ever thinks about me?”
“Honestly honey, I think that’s something you should figure out for yourself. Seeing you like this, sitting in your room and mulling over him so much, isn’t going to do much of anything.” Alex let out a sigh. Once again, she knew that her mother was right. Her mom always knew what to say and what advice to give- which of course, is what makes her a great therapist- but when it comes to being able to help her daughter, the choice was always on Alex. And while Alex didn’t know a thing about what was going on in Levi’s world now, the one thing she did know was that somehow, the two of them would find each other again. She just wasn’t sure if she was ready to make the first move.
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