1/03/2024

Novella: Your Love Has Poisoned Me (Chapters 3 & 4)

CHAPTER 3: Game On

Rachel wasn’t ready to be asked out on a second date, but it happened. Chris had asked her one night if she was into art museums, and without a second of hesitation, she said yes. Just as she said that to him, however, she realized that perhaps she should have been more discerning. She wasn’t sure if she could trust Chris or not, and deep down, her first instinct was to play it safe with him, especially since he didn’t kiss her after their first date together. He also didn’t kiss her when she first met him at his apartment. Everything about him just seemed to feel cryptic and she didn’t want to let her guard down. However, all of her reservations just flew out the window when he showed up at her front door with a bouquet of roses. He was wearing a full suit, and his hair was perfectly trimmed. He had a sly look on his face for a moment, which then turned quickly into a soft grin. This made her feel nervous. “What’s with the suit, handsome?” He picked up on the compliment and responded, “I just wanted to make a good first impression. Well that, plus I wanted to take you out to dinner before the main event.”

“Well that’s very sweet of you. Are we expecting a limo to pick us up then?” Chris gave out a small chuckle in amusement. He then noticed a sensation happening in his body, but he couldn’t make anything of it, so he shrugged it off. He opened the door to his car and motioned for Rachel to step in. As she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, she noticed that Chris was looking at her through the rear view mirror. His deep, hazel eyes seemed to pierce into hers for a quick moment in time and the two of them rode in the car in comfortable silence.

Once they reached the restaurant, Chris was a complete gentleman. He always let Rachel go in first before him, and even during their meal together, he was attentive. After the two of them had ordered their meals, he stayed engaged by asking the right questions. For a moment in time, Rachel thought that she was dreaming because of how he was acting around her. Matthew is not going to believe a word of how tonight’s going down so far, she thought to herself. He’s told her about Chris and his odd personality. For a man of his stature, she thought that Matthew was describing this caricature of a person who was detached from reality, but the person she was with tonight seemed like nothing of the sort. She wasn’t even sure if his intentions were genuine or not when he asked her out the first time. Of course, that date was a bit more casual, but even then, she sensed that Chris had some sort of agenda behind his intentions, but she couldn’t figure out what. Just as she was getting up from her seat to use the restroom, Chris got up as well. “Is everything okay?”
    “Yeah, I just need to freshen up for a moment. The air here feels a little dry.”
“Don’t be long then. Our main destination isn’t going to stay open all night.” Rachel slowly walked away from the table, and again for a moment, their eyes met with a gaze that felt intense enough to make her feel uncomfortable.

By the time Rachel and Chris made it to the inside of the art museum, Rachel realized that she had left her phone in the car. “Phones aren’t permitted in the space anyway,” Chris had said before opening the car door for her. The two of them took their time as they fixed their gazes from one art piece to the next in silence. Once they had gone through the entire museum’s collections, Chris took her back to her apartment. Rachel insisted on him coming inside and making himself comfortable. “I never knew just how astonishing art could be. Some of what I saw made me feel something, but I can’t quite pinpoint what the feeling is. It’s like getting a glimpse into a person’s soul.”
    “Well, I’m glad I took you out to the place then. Which piece was your favorite?” Instead of answering his question, Rachel decided to inch closer towards Chris. She wasn’t sure why her body wanted his closeness, but she couldn’t help herself. The further she inched in, the more Chris wanted to pull away out of nervousness. He wasn’t sure how to act around her. He tried his best all night to keep things normal around her, and admitting, he realized that her eyes still captivated him. With the night still feeling young, both Chris and Rachel realized that they didn’t want to say goodbye to each other yet. Rachel stepped out of the room for a moment to get herself into more comfortable clothes. When she came back into the living room, Chris stood up. Even in sweatpants and a t-shirt, she still looked amazing. Instead of heading towards the door, he inched closer to her; almost close enough to kiss her. His eyes, yet again, became fixated onto hers. Rachel broke off from his gaze and inched his head closer to hers. Before he had a chance to react, Rachel was planting her lips onto his. He pushed her away immediately.

“I should really get going now,” he said to her. “Thank you for letting me take you out tonight.”

“I should be the one thanking you, Chris. I enjoyed-” He immediately shut the door behind him without a second glance, and it was in that moment that Rachel started to come back to reality. What just happened?, she asked herself. Did I just kiss him? And why did he leave so suddenly? Her thoughts started to make her feel overwhelmed, so she made her way to the bedroom and set herself down onto her bed.

CHRIS: FLASHBACKS

All throughout the date, even though he tried to hide it, Chris found himself feeling certain things. Was it an attraction? Is he even capable of catching feelings for someone? He wasn’t sure what to make of the situation, and as he laid on his bed with his suit still halfway on, he realized that this is one small change that he wasn’t able to see coming. What is happening to me?, he asked himself. He knew that if he really wanted to, he could talk to Matthew about this. However, his first instinct was to hold onto his pride. Perhaps I should lay low for a while, he thought to himself. I did already take Rachel out on two dates. But then he remembered one crucial piece of information: she kissed him, and on the lips. In the moment when it happened, he felt this heat rising up in him from below his stomach and into his chest. He then panicked and just ended things right there immediately. This is insane! How could I have forgotten about that kiss?! The more he replayed that moment in his mind, the more he realized that he wasn’t ready to pursue anything further with Rachel and then decided that he wasn’t going to contact her again.

In his childhood, Chris had been called many things. He wasn’t popular among his classmates in the sense that he was close to any of them, but considering the odd nicknames that his supposed friends came up with, he realized that perhaps he could learn to live with the reputation he was given. “He’s such a weirdo,” said one kid who was observing Chris from a distance. Of course, he didn’t understand exactly what made him come across as weird. Chris was just minding his own business and playing with a handful of grass and dirt. Perhaps to his classmate, playing with dirt and grass was considered weird. To him however, he was just fascinated with the little organisms that were living inside of the ground. One time during recess, he came to his spot in the school yard and found an ant hill. His first instinct was to just observe it with an intense gaze, but then he noticed a worm sprouting up a few inches away from the ant hill. He took it out of the ground, and just as he was becoming invested in what he found, a bird who was pecking around for food started to peck at him and took the worm from his hands.

As he grew older, Chris’ fascinations became more exotic, and in high school, this one guy who was surely leaner and bigger than him took every opportunity he could find just to make it known that Chris would never be seen as normal. One time during lunch, Chris brought with him a meal that his mother had made. She wasn’t much of a cook, but on the one day she decided to be domestic, she whipped up some hot dogs and chili. She also stashed in a bag of corn chips and a pudding cup. She knew how much Chris had loved pudding growing up, and because money was tight with her being a single mom, she had to save up every last penny she made as a waitress just to ensure she could buy all of the foods that were on his wish list. Needless to say that the lunch he brought in on this typical day really made him smile, but then Andy showed up. He had an entourage of friends circled around him, and Chris knew at that moment that there was nothing he could do to help himself. He could tell that Andy was in a mood, and because he didn’t want to start the day off on the wrong foot, he shoved his homemade lunch in Andy’s face and then ran away. The bag made a small thud once it hit the floor next to Andy’s feet, and just as he picked up the bag to see what was inside, Chris came running back. He quickly shoved his hand in the bag to retrieve the pudding cup, then retreated again from the scene.

As if his reputation hadn’t already been enough to make him feel like an alien amongst his peers throughout his school years, the only thing that seemed to make Chris feel somewhat human is when he and Matthew became friends. It was in kindergarten when they first met, and neither one of them had any interest in staying in the classroom for nap time. Instead, the two of them decided to skip nap time and just roam about the hallway. After a few slow minutes passed, Matthew had the idea of raiding the cafeteria to see if there was any pudding in stock. Surely enough when they arrived, the two of them found big tubs of chocolate and vanilla pudding in the back stockroom, and because the door to the room was left open, all they had to do was sneak in and help themselves. By the time they were finished and felt full, the room was left a big sticky mess. The two boys slowly made their way back to the classroom, but by the time they reentered, they saw the disappointed look on the teacher’s face. They ended up having to stay late after school let out and were forced to write "I will not leave nap time again” in big letters on the chalkboard one hundred times.

MATTHEW: MEMORIES

The trouble that he and Chris used to get into as kids is something that always brought a smile to Matthew’s face. He knew back then that as kids, the two of them just wanted to do their own thing and have endless amounts of fun. However, reality came to him sooner than Chris once he realized that college is something he wanted to pursue. Growing up, he would always become associated with the nerdy type of crowd, but he never cared to let that bother him. Supposedly, Matthew realized that his confidence and self-assured nature could be something he subconsciously picked up from Chris. The two of them did always have this unspoken, mutual understanding of each other. The only difference is that college challenged him, whereas Chris ended up having multiple scholarships to choose from after graduating as well as earning a nearly flawless GPA score without breaking so much of a sweat. It was always easy for his best friend to stay focused and determined, never swaying away from his original goals and plans. Matthew, on the other hand, had struggled in some of his classes because he became more interested in joining fraternities and going out to wild parties with friends. It was at that point he realized that it would take him a little while longer to catch up to Chris as he was close to failing his philosophy and physics classes.

Once Matthew came to the realization that being in a fraternity wasn’t his thing, he decided to pick up the slack in his studies by going to the library. He thought that going there would help to boost his concentration, but what happened instead is that he met Rachel. The two of them started off just talking about their classes and what their majors were, and the next thing he knew, he was venting about all of his academic frustrations to her. He thought he was surely going to fail, and he kept comparing his own lackluster efforts to that of Chris. He was so sure that at that moment, Rachel would come to his rescue and say “I’m sorry you're having a hard time… Perhaps the two of us can get together and become study buddies!”. What happened instead is that she started encouraging more talks about Chris and what kind of person he was. For a moment, he felt insulted by the turn of conversation. But the more information he gave about his best friend to her, the more he realized that perhaps it was time for his best friend to have a wake-up call of his own. However twisted his thinking was at the time, he knew that he couldn’t allow himself to wallow in self-pity simply because his best friend was more naturally gifted when it came to academics.

CHAPTER 4: THE DOUBLE DATE

Levi’s life at home was pretty predictable. The only time he had been away from home is when his mother decided that a vacation could help to fix his issues with depression and insomnia. One summer, back when he was thirteen years old, he made a trip to California to visit his aunt and uncle. They had always doted on him to his mother, saying that he’s such a handsome boy and could really use more time away from the stress of being a middle child. Of course, the only response that she would give in return is a modest smile and a hearty thank you for always being so loving and supportive. What she, or even Levi, didn’t realize, is that when he arrived at his aunt and uncle’s house, both of them suddenly realized that perhaps Brenda and Benjamin were right about what Levi needed the most. 

One of the fondest memories that Levi had of his time in California was when he and Uncle Ben went out to go fishing. It wasn’t that the activity brought them closer together, but in opening up to Uncle Ben about his feelings on the divorce and even on his lack of a love life, he realized that what he really wanted was to just feel heard. Uncle Ben was always a great listener and never once questioned his nephew in how he felt, which is something that Levi always appreciated. It was at that moment that he thought he had feelings for another guy he bumped into while walking around the busy streets of San Francisco. The two of them only saw each other at a distance, but there was a look in his eyes that said, “I see you”. Levi’s heart nearly fell out of his chest at that moment, and soon after rushing home, he shut himself up in his room. He couldn’t believe what had just happened, and it all happened so fast. He barely had any time to process his emotions on the matter, and right as he started to feel comfortable within himself during that one vacation, all of his world faded back to gray within the last week of his trip as he packed up his bags and went home to Utah. 

ALEX: THE PHONE CALL

It was in the afternoon when Alex realized that she couldn’t just sit still and continue wasting time. She had tried to keep herself busy by focusing on her studies, and inside her notebook, she had a sketchbook and pencil handy in case she were to lose focus. It had been a while since she tried to do any free-hand sketching, and despite her best attempts to draw out something, she realized that studying or sketching just wasn’t going to do the trick for her boredom. She had to get out of the house. She had to find something else that would keep her mind occupied, and then it dawned on her that she didn’t know Levi’s cell phone number. In the same instant, she remembered that her mother still had his family’s phone number pinned up on the kitchen fridge. She immediately flew out of her bedroom and picked up the phone that was on the kitchen counter and dialed in the number soon after locating it. Levi picked up after the second ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me. Alex. Do you remember me?”

“How could I not? We were best friends all throughout our childhoods.”

“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to do something with me this weekend.” She paused a moment before continuing to speak as she wasn’t sure how to best engage his interest. “When’s the last time you’ve gone out to a nice restaurant?”

“Umm, I’m not sure. My mom likes to keep me busy with all sorts of chores around the house.” Levi covered the speaker of the phone and let out a small sigh. Again, he realized that it was easier to just lie to himself because for one, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to see Alex again. It wasn’t personal, but because it’s been so long, uncertainty was starting to plague his mind. “I’ll get back to you soon on the invitation by like, later tonight. Thanks for reaching out by the way. Talk to you later!”. 

“Am I reading you wrong, or do you seem more nervous than usual?” Hannah has always been in tune with her senses, and especially when it comes to understanding her brother. She decided to stop by for the weekend because she finished most of her work early, and of course, having her around would always make Levi feel nervous. In addition to that however, he was also feeling tense because of the phone call he had with Alex. He wasn’t sure why she decided to call after all this time, and while he tried being polite and pleasant with her, he had to admit that the whole thing just threw him off guard. He tried to reassure himself by thinking that perhaps she was nervous to talk to him as well, but that didn’t do him much good. Hannah planted her feet right in front of the washing machine, and Levi tried to push her aside so that he could empty the contents of the laundry basket that he kept close to his waist. When she didn’t budge, he muttered under his breath. “Could you please get out of the way? These need to be washed.”

“I will only do as such after you speak to me. Now what’s up with you?” Levi stared into his sister’s eyes without blinking, and she took this as a sign to have a staring contest with him. The moment he blinked, she chided in herself and laughed. “I win!” 

“Great, you can claim your trophy from the kitchen. Now move!” She reluctantly moved to the side, and once Levi was finished with the load of laundry, she stood in his way again. He rolled his eyes, and without looking at him, Hannah decided to drag him into his bedroom. “Okay, clearly something is going on and you don’t want to talk about it.”

“Gee, thanks for picking up on that. Why did you drag me in here then?”

“Because, I know you.” Levi was starting to feel frustrated because every time she uttered those words, they would be followed up with some terrible advice that would only work in her favor. He tried to interject, but was cut off abruptly. “Are you having girl trouble? Oh, wait! Let me guess… Alex called you.”

“How do you know that?” he asked gruffly. Her next response came in quickly again without him being able to say anything else. “You still like her, don’t you?” Hearing Hannah said that made Levi’s face turn red with anger. “Don’t deny it, little bro. The two of you were inseparable back in the day. And I’m sure she didn’t call just to catch up with you. What exactly did she try to offer you? Are you going to go out with her?” Levi didn’t say anything and planted a scowl on his face. Even when he was being silently resentful, his sister always had a nose for figuring out the truth. A short moment passed in silence. “Levi, you should go out with her,” she finally said, and in a tone that made him feel like a child. “Alex was your childhood best friend! And I know that Mom tries to stay out of it, but for both of our sakes, I need to tell you right now that the two of you really are just perfect for each other. She knows it, and I can feel that something’s there as well.” If you don’t shut up, then I’ll give you something else to feel in a moment, Levi said to himself. He always had this image in the back of his head that if and when this dreadful conversation were to happen, he’d put his sister in a headlock. The image came back to him while she was running her mouth and saying things, acting as if a marriage was well on its way when that was far from the truth. The next thing he knew, he stood tall over his older sister (both literally and figuratively as he was a foot taller than her) and looked at her for a long moment with an intense look on his face. He then let out a sigh and started to pack up one of his suitcases. “What are you doing?” Hannah asked with a look of confusion on her face. He didn’t say anything back. He knew better than to start an argument with her, but once he had his suitcase fully packed, he finally looked in Hannah’s direction and said, “I’m going back to California. I can’t be around you when you’re like this.”

“Have you lost your mind?” Hannah was staring at her brother in a way that made her seem bewildered. She couldn't understand what was going on in his mind. 

“No, but you have. I’m done with this. With ALL of this! Why should I go out on a date with my childhood best friend? Why should I sit here and listen to you talk about things that just aren’t going to happen? Why should I stay here and allow myself to drown simply because Mom out there has decided to start another family without Dad? None of it is fair! Seeing you being successful in your business, and hearing about all the wonderful things that Adam is achieving out in Colorado… None of it is fair. I’m just… done. Goodbye, Hannah. Make sure to take the laundry out of the washer once it’s done.”

PRESENT DAY: PATHS CROSSED

Levi certainly didn’t see this day coming when he and Alex would actually end up being friends again. The two of them ran into each other as he was trying to catch the next flight to San Francisco. He found out that Alex was wanting to study abroad in Iceland, and while both of them expressed genuine excitement for their upcoming plans for the future, they also realized that something was holding them back, and it wasn’t just this fear of the unknown. The two of them ended up talking while heading to their respective gates, and by complete accident, both of them missed their flights. Alex was the first to recognize it, and then she said, “Should this be called some sort of act of serendipity, or are we both just stupid for missing our flights?” Levi let out a small laugh and decided to put his arm around her. She allowed his arm to rest where it was. “I’m not sure,” he finally said, “but I am glad that we’re here. Talking to each other after so long just feels right, somehow.” The two of them stayed in place for a long moment, not saying a word to each other. Everybody else around them minded their own business, trying to get to their gates on time and hustling from one place to another. Even with all the noise going on around them in the airport, the only thing that was of any concern to Levi and Alex was them just trying to take in each other’s presence. After staying in a tight hug for what felt like a long time, Levi realized that he had something he wanted to give to Alex. He bent down to retrieve the mystery item from his backpack. He stayed bent down on one knee, and before Alex could ask what was going on, he turned around and said, “I know this is sudden, but considering how good things feel for once, I just want to say this out loud now. Will you marry me, Alex?” She couldn’t find it in her to breathe. Once she did catch her breath, however, she held out her hand and silently said yes. She showed no visible emotion in what Levi just did, but in her heart, she felt like she was on cloud nine and never wanted to come back down to earth. 

CHRIS AND MATTHEW: MAN UP

The same day that Chris stopped speaking to Rachel was the same day that Matthew started to feel more uneasy with himself, and for reasons that were completely justified. He was worried that his only friend would somehow end up being treated badly. What he didn’t realize, however, was that Rachel was beyond furious with the lack of contact she had with Chris. Five months have passed since the last time the two of them went out together on their second date. She remembered kissing him, and then he left her with no explanation. When Matthew caught wind of that news, he started to feel agitated not just by the situation between the two of them, but also frustrated with himself and the amount of effort he put into making Chris hook up with her. I should have known, he thought to himself. Chris has never been date-worthy material. His mother could attest to such a statement. Right as he said that to himself, a memory came back to him of the one time he was invited over to Chris’ house for dinner. His mother was very warm and friendly; she was genuinely excited when she found out that Chris had finally made a friend. It took him forever to work up the courage to tell his mother about Matthew. It wasn’t until they were in high school when the invitation was made. His mother had insisted on Chris bringing him over, and once Chris had finally given up on arguing over the matter, he extended the invitation to Matthew. 

Now that the two of them have grown up and have found steady jobs, it only seemed right that they would get in business together and start up their own firm. Deep down however, Matthew knew that he would want to settle down one day and have his own family. He wanted that for himself, but he could never be sure of what Chris wanted for himself. Every time he tried to impose those serious questions onto his best friend, Chris would always find a way to dodge the conversation. It’s like Chris just didn’t feel comfortable enough to ever share that kind of information with his best friend, and Matthew thought that their friendship had stood firm long enough for those kinds of talks to take place. He was always open about his plans for the future, and Chris was always willing to listen. And now that he’s being given information from Rachel that Chris has basically ghosted her, he had to wonder if Chris could actually be considered a best friend for much longer. 

The two men decided to head to a bar after their shifts ended. Neither one of them spoke to each other, and after placing their drink orders, they noticed a young couple walking in. They seemed to be acting like they were newly engaged, and Matthew found himself smiling for a moment at the sight of seeing them. Just as he decided to get up from his seat, Rachel came walking in through a different entrance, and she walked at a speed that could light the whole room up into flames. Her gaze was fixed and fierce, like she was about to pounce on somebody. Once she was within arm’s reach, Matthew realized that she was here for Chris. He could feel his gut dropping like an anchor sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Instead of staying a minute longer, he closed up his tab and decided to head back to the apartment, leaving both Chris and Rachel to stare intensely into each other’s eyes. “So we meet again,” Chris said with a sly smile, cocking his head back and forth. Rachel wasn’t phased by the look on his face and slapped him silly. “Don’t play stupid with me. I waited to hear from you for five months! Why would you ghost me like that, and then act as if you can just go about your business without caring about mine?” Chris had this empty look in his eyes, and she could tell that he was drunk. Rachel groaned, dragged him out of his seat and left some cash on the table for the bartender. The two of them stumbled slowly towards the exit door, but then a stranger bumped into Rachel, making Chris crumple onto the floor. “I’m so sorry!” the woman exclaimed. “Is he dead?” She looked over at Chris’ body in apprehension. “Nah, he’s just drunk. Could you help by finding a seat to put him in?”

“Sure thing.” Both Rachel and the kind woman took Chris by an arm and hurdled him over to one of the chairs. Once he was seated, his eyes drifted off and started to close. The woman sat back down and started to talk to her presumed fiance. “So I wasn’t expecting this to happen, but now we have a couple guests sitting here at this lovely table!” she said with a certain enthusiasm that seemed to be covering feelings of shock. “Oh, I just realized I never introduced myself. My name is Alex.” Rachel gave a small smile then said her own name in return. The two women shook hands, and then she looked over in Chris’ direction to see if he was breathing. “That loser’s name is Chris. He was already here before me.”

“While he’s out cold then, I feel inclined to say that he seems a bit out of your league. You can do better than him.” Alex took a sip of her wine, and then glanced over at her partner. “By the way, this is Levi. The two of us decided to celebrate our engagement and couldn’t come to an agreement on where to go, so that’s how we ended up here.” Rachel smiled yet again, and just as she stood up to find a waiter, Chris woke up. He shifted in his seat then groaned slightly. “How long have I been out?”

“For about half the night,” Alex and Rachel said in unison. They turned towards each other and smiled; Rachel felt embarrassed for the position she was in whereas Alex was just trying to keep her cool. Levi, who was sitting next to her, seemed to be oblivious to what was going on around him. He didn’t recognize the environment he was in, and he was enamored with every little detail from the music, to the clinking of glasses to the waiters in shorts and long sleeved, buttoned-up shirts and bow ties. He saw one particular man who seemed to be enjoying himself and had found a spare bow tie on the floor. He was twirling it around like it was a lasso, and all of friends were laughing at his antics as he danced around on the top of the table. “Hey, do you mind if I stretch my legs for a bit?” he asked Alex, who was still fixing her gaze onto Rachel. “I don’t mind,” she said nonchalantly. Just as Levi got up from his seat, Alex realized that she probably should have been a bit more attentive to her fiance as he was heading towards the table that was causing the most trouble. She saw a couple people out of the corner of her eye who were flashing cigarette butts and lighters. Clearly, this place isn’t one to ban the use of smoking. “Do you want to get out of here before more madness ensues?” Rachel asked Alex. “I thought you’d never ask, but I do want to touch base with my fiance first. I’ll be back shortly.”. 

Levi had already taken in enough alcohol by the time his fiance arrived, and the way he danced around her made Alex chuckle softly to herself. At the same time however, she felt slightly uncomfortable. Something inside of her was saying “how did I end up being engaged to you?” as she couldn’t recognize Levi’s behavior. He’s never been this flamboyant and outgoing as far as she knew, but she figured that being out in the big city can change a person. Either that, or perhaps it was just the alcohol. Before she could think of anything to say, Levi started to shout over the music that was blaring on the speakers in the bar. “Dance with me, babe! I could use a partner right about now.” Alex started to smile again, and before she knew it, a hand was reaching out to take hers, but it wasn’t Levi’s. It was Rachel’s. “Hey, is everything good with you and your fiance? I thought we were going to hang out together. Is that cool with you, Levi?”

“No worries here, man. Go have fun!” He moved away from the two women and started to slyly move towards this one man who was shaking his hips; he had no shirt on and seemed to be enjoying himself. The whole image felt sensual to Levi and he realized then that his urges for male contact were coming back. He didn’t know how to gain control of himself, and while he wasn’t aware of it, he didn’t realize that him holding onto a man’s hips and closely dancing together would be an image that Alex would notice as she and Rachel were still at the bar. They were standing by the exit and one of the security guards had come into view to escort them out. It was at the last second when Alex looked up and took full notice of what Levi was doing before leaving the scene. 

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