There are a lot of things I know I'm prone to saying or doing either consciously or unconsciously. I also know that depending on the day, I'm not always good at being able to empathize with others. Self-respect and being able to consistently show up for myself is something that I tend to hold onto with pride, as well as stating any boundaries for the sake of keeping any relationships healthy. In saying all of that, one thing that I feel as if I've come to learn and accept about myself is that even though I am someone who is considered neurodivergent (or having ADD), that doesn't mean that I have to let my brain's oddities take over my personality 24/7.
Shame, low self-esteem and negative self-talk are what's caused me to withdraw and isolate myself the most whenever I was experiencing a meltdown because of my ADD. The ways in which I've built up my own confidence and self-worth have involved some traditional or conventional methods like therapy, journaling and even starting this blog, but I also know that I've relied on some other resources so that I could figure out how to appear more "normal" or get to a place of feeling safe internally. This is basically how I've gained inspiration to write about my experiences with ADD and my learning disability. Accepting that my brain is just different isn't always easy, but how does this correlate to the title of this post?
I wasn't given enough exposure to people who are just like me in terms of mental deficiencies, so for a good part of my life, I just went about my own business and kept to myself without questioning most things in life. My ability to tolerate certain things and people comes from being able to observe and adapt to my surroundings. It's taken me a long time to unlearn certain behaviors that haven't been serving me, and the more I allow myself to be unapologetic in who I am outside of my ADD, the more I start to feel as if I can co-exist around not just other neurodivergent folks (which also includes people who have autism), but also some other people who are their own version of "normal". I know who I'm able to get along with and who I want to avoid or go no-contact with. I used to be the type of person who would burn bridges, and while that temptation still finds its way into my mind sometimes, I feel like the only thing I'm guilty of now is saying things I don't mean to whenever I feel stressed or tired. Forgiving and forgetting is something I'd rather adapt to, whether other people in my life like it or not. I'd rather forgive for my own sake (and for other people if I know I've done something wrong), forget like it's nothing and then move on with life. If someone were to actually disrespect me or not treat me fairly, I will put that person in their place if I have to. I've gone through phases of being too soft or being too afraid to speak my mind, and that slowly started to change once I entered my 20's. I'm not afraid anymore to vocalize what's on my mind, whether or not what I have to say is offensive. So to anyone who's reading this, please take this to heart: it's okay for you to have a voice and to stand up for yourself!!
To wrap up this post, I'd say that my tolerance threshold has increased over the years with some things in life, but overall, I still try my best to be kind and live in a way that's authentic to who I am. Confidence is something that you gain by being able to endure the worst of what's been dealt to you. I hope that these insights can help reach anybody who needs to hear it.
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