11/28/2024

To the One Person I Wasn't Supposed to Fall In Love With....

Emotions make us human, and yet, ours reflect each other so clearly. It really just confirms how divine our connection is. Your heart is strong... Your soul is beautiful. Your eyes are warm and inviting. Your smile makes me feel like I am the only person that matters to you, but I know I'm not. Accepting this truth is hard because of how special you make me feel. It's easy for me to forget that you've already chosen someone to love who isn't me.... some nights, it makes me feel sad. Other nights, this is something I'm able to bury deep down. 

I crave those good morning texts like they're just for me, and I truly enjoy it when you text me good morning. It brings joy to my heart. The consistency of those moments stay in my heart like a beautiful melody that's harmonious and perfect; you never miss a beat, and I'll always think to myself that God brought someone special into my life who's showing me that having a love that's rooted in His holiness is possible and within reach. 

The acknowledgement of us not being lovers doesn't always hurt... Loving you from a distance doesn't always hurt because I know that we'll still have our friendship. I cherish this friendship we have so deeply. I cherish the moments we make whenever we're sharing our deepest secrets to each other. I even cherish the daydreams we create in our minds, however simple and monotonous they are. They all weave into this story that feels like another version of reality that only the two of us know about. 

Whenever you come to my mind, whether it's during the day or at night, my heart sometimes skips a beat. Once I meet the person I'm destined to be with and eventually marry, I hope that he or she will be just as kind, tender, patient and caring as you. I hope that he'll share that same passion for growth that you do. I also hope that he'll share the same love for God as I do. As I'm saying these things, I pray that the person I'm meant to be with will choose to stay in my life, no matter what. 

Loving you brings me so much joy that I just want to cry... I never find myself feeling lonely or forgotten. I never find myself feeling doubtful or insecure because I know that you'll lift me up and remind me of my worth as a person. I feel grateful for your companionship. I feel grateful for your kindness.... it truly overwhelms me sometimes, but that's not a bad thing. It just reminds of how divinely perfect our love is, even if we're only supposed to remain friends. So just for tonight at least, while you're spending your nights with her, I'll imagine that it's me. I'll imagine that it's me that you want to kiss and hold so tenderly until we fall asleep together. 

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