Love in friendships can still have its moments of being rocky, but when time slows down and I'm fully aware of my surroundings, I can feel that connection. I know that my ex wanted this as well, but he's on his own now. I'm done with trying to keep him around as a friend. It'll be his choice if he wants to come back or not. I don't want to rush things anymore. Real love lasts when both people know to take their time and give each other respect. The same can be said about true love within God's timing; there's definitely something special about that kind of bond where both people are able to put God first and prioritize their own growth not just in themselves as human beings, but also within the way God wants them to love. I know I've met two incredible people who have exemplified this, and to this day, I still think of them, even if I haven't met them in person yet.
Love is a great feeling, but I know that love alone won't make a relationship last. It takes effort on both sides, and it's not enough to simply demand or ask for more from one person without having the same amount of effort get put out from the other person. I'm also learning that unconditional love does not equate to having a lack of boundaries or respect. Being strict with boundaries is okay, but it's also okay for other people to have reactions to said boundaries. We're all human at the end of the day. It's okay if it takes time for trust to be built up again; the realest or purest forms of love don't just magically heal themselves overnight. Marriage doesn't just happen overnight. Those who understand this will do what works for them and their relationship.
Fear is a common emotion for people to have; no one should be seen as weak or less than for experiencing this type of emotion. If you're unable to fear anything, then I can definitely give those kinds of people respect, but not even the most fearless of leaders are immune to feeling this way. Lions and bears alike experience a protective or defensive type of fear. Those who are willing to walk through fire can still be afraid of the dark. Even those who are willing to stand alone and not be romantically involved with anybody can still experience fear because they don't want to be forgotten or feel abandoned. These kinds of people have the strongest hearts, and these are the kinds of people that I've been able to bond and connect with the most over time.
I feel immensely grateful for each and every person who's given me strength, courage and faith over the years. Even if my mind carries many memories that paralyze my physical body to exhaustion sometimes, I know that I hold a lot of resilience, hope and optimism. I'm not as naive as I used to be; I notice a lot more than what people would typically think. I pick up on things that other people tend to ignore or not think about as deeply. I love hard and fall even harder when I notice a person of high value, or of strong character in other words. Honesty and integrity are important to me. Confidence is attractive to me, but I also know that seeing someone exemplifying God's will is the most attractive to me. I enjoy the process of seeing someone evolve and grow alongside me in faith and love.
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